Catholic Ragemonkey

BREAKING NEWS: Council of Priests: Decision 2004
National Catholic Distorter (Oklahoma City) -- She normally simply goes by "Mom." But, the Archdiocese of Oklahoma City has come to know her in the past few weeks as "Mrs. Hamilton." By the power of a child's natural disposition toward his mother, and by the influence of the Catholic disposition for things maternal, she has proven she is no minor figure in the Council of Priests election. She's the mother of candidate Fr. Stephen Hamilton and she has been busy on the campaign trail.

It will strike no mother as odd that Mrs. Hamilton's first concern, upon hearing of her son's nomination, was for mudslinging and character attacks by her son's opponents. Last week she spoke on the sad state of campaigning at a meeting of the Ladies Auxiliary of the Knights of Columbus, at St. Helen Church, in rural Oklahoma. "We need to turn back," she said, "some of the creeping, un-priestly and sometimes un-Catholic traits that are coming into some of our Church politics." Mrs. Hamilton contends that there is no need for the political side of human life, even in the Church, to sink below human dignity. Hers was a call for decency and virtue among candidates whose most obvious traits ought to include virtue.

After the meeting, Distorter reporter Ashley Lame spoke with Mrs. Hamilton.

Distorter: Mrs. Hamilton, you said certain "un-Catholic traits" were creeping into the electoral process. Can you tell us what you meant by that?

Mrs. Hamilton: "Un-Catholic traits"? I don't understand.

D: You spoke of the lack of decency in the campaign and you mentioned "un-Catholic traits."

Mrs. H: I didn't say that. Why are you putting words in my mouth?

D: Will you explain for us what "un-Catholic traits" means?

Mrs. H: You said something I didn't say. Now shove it!

D: Wait. Mrs. Hamilton, please come back. We'd simply like an answer to our...