Thank God It's Sunday!

Or at least it will be. Next week, 6 priests will be here to hear confessions for my parishioners. Would everyone who reads this blog pray for all those who will come and those who are hesitant to come to confession?

For the loverly dinner before the penance rite, this is what I am planning to serve:
Cream of Red Pepper Soup
Roasted Beet Salad on a Bed of Beet Greens
Some sort of Beef (Roast or Steaks), Pasta with lovely red sauce made by Fr. H (Shush! Ancient Italian Secret), and a vegetable medley
and for dessert...Homemade Blueberry Ice Cream with a cookie

Sounds good doesn't it...

Tanti auguri Santo Padre!
Today, Pope John Paul II becomes the third longest reigning pontiff in Church history. I can still remember his election because my kindergarten teacher, Sr. Mary Samuel, O.P., gathered us before a television to watch the news of the election. Though I can recall the death of Pope John Paul I, for all intents and purposes, Pope John Paul II is the only pope I have ever known. Viva il Papa!

Steps to Authentic Reform: St. Padre Pio

For a Sunday, this hardly seems a cheery thought but it applies to reform. I am amazed at all the crap Padre Pio had to put up with. Not just cluelessness from superiors which often thinly disguised malice, but physical and spiritual ailments. But through it all, that is how he functioned. Because He believed that God would deliver him, any problem and strife was tolerable. It simply had to be offered up.

Step Three: Perservere in the Face of Opposition. Because we believe or know the righteousness of our actions, we find opposition hard to cotton. After all, if I am correct, why don't more folks want to come along for the ride? The problem comes when you figure out what you are trying to change. Change a behavior is one thing, and plenty hard by the way. Change the heart requires repentance and conversion, as the cycle C gospel reminds us, and can't provide that for anyone. That is up to them to come up with. So work like it matters and pray like it's in God's Hands.

Only one caveat. There is a distinction between perserverence and pigheadness. Prudence sides with perserverence but not with pigheadedness.

Like an oasis in the desert
I just discovered some interesting news that a new English translation of the ordinary parts of the Holy Mass may be out as soon as early 2005. It apparently -- and finally! -- translates the response to "The Lord be with you" as "And with your spirit." The Confiteor may once again see "through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault." And I am sure there is more. Finally! Yes! I hope it is true and that the oasis my eyes are focusing on (at least in English) is not another liturgical mirage!

Yikes! Now, this is a different take on The Passion!
Look at what I stumbled upon today while trying to find the Hebrew for the inscription on Jesus' Cross. (By the way, if anyone can help with what the Hebrew would have been, please e-mail or comment.) Here are some excerpts:

"It is a Catholic movie. It is based on the traditions of Rome, rather than the Bible. It was produced, directed, acted, and endorsed by Catholics. It is a catechism and commercial for Catholicism. Rome’s history of opposition to the Bible and present practices contrary to the Bible make this a grave concern. The movie is based on the Rosary’s five sorrowful mysteries, follows the Stations of the Cross, emphasizes Jesus on a crucifix, includes many Catholic superstitions, and gives Mary a preeminent role....

"Mel used the Mass for inspiration. What is the Mass? It is a staged act where a priest turns a cracker into God and sacrifices Him again, and again, and again. It is called transubstantiation – transforming the substance of a cracker into God. Catholics assassinate their senses to believe the cracker has become God, because it still looks, tastes, smells, feels, and sounds like a cracker! It is the most abominable religious act in the world. Mel and J.C. went to Mass every day during filming to be “squeaky clean”....

"Mel requires the Tridentine Mass. Mr. Gibson is a serious Catholic. He wants Mass in Latin. Think movie! He imported priests to do it the original way. For 1500 years until 1965, Catholics only watched the stage act and admired the pictures at church, for Mass was in Latin. Mel began each day crucifying a cracker Jesus in Latin! What Baptists and Protestants once despised as blasphemy, they now think are Mel’s godly devotions. They now buy popcorn and watch a Catholic movie together … in Latin!

I bet there's plenty more where these came from!

Why not save us all some time?
As I ate a late dinner tonight after Holy Mass, I had the television on (something I largely try to avoid) and something came to me. First, I noticed a commercial for Average Joe: Adam returns. So, let me get this straight, this guy, Adam, loses out on Average Joe and now he gets his own show where the nonsense can start all over again. What a joke these shows are! Immediately following that commercial, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit began.

So, I thought, hey, why not save us all some time and maybe some Hollywood money by combining the always-ridiculous Average Joe-type shows with the ever-subdividing Law & Order shows. It is still in its seminal phases but it could go something like this:

The losers from Average Joe, rather than being voted off, are "disposed" of in various ways. Perhaps they mysteriously disappear. Perhaps they are charged with a crime, arrested, and taken away. Perhaps their bodies are found face down in a vat of pudding. Here the Law & Order folks come in to investigate the crime scene and we follow the legal developments. The method by which an Average Joe loser is disposed, would dictate which Law & Order actors would be present (Criminal Intent, Special Victims Unit, etc.).

What do you think? Have any ideas?

Hey, I have an idea!
Could this lady's community service be completed here?

Steps to Authentic Reform: St. Paul

Frequently in the New Testament, St. Paul and others commend us to imitate their faith and their behavior. For example, in 2nd Thessalonians, you find this: "For you know how one must imitate us. For we did not act in a disorderly way among you, nor did we eat food received free from anyone. On the contrary, in toil and drudgery, night and day we worked, so as not to burden any of you. Not that we do not have the right. Rather, we wanted to present ourselves as a model for you, so that you might imitate us. [2 Th 3:7-9]" Or see this from the Letter to the Hebrews: "Remember your leaders who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith [Heb 13:7]." One last citation. Look at this from the 3rd Letter of John: "Beloved, do not imitate evil but imitate good. Whoever does what is good is of God; whoever does what is evil has never seen God[3 John 1:11]."

Living the faith well is not something we have to invent on our own. We can take from a great cloud of witnesses the example of their lives and make application to ours.

Step Two: Befriend a Saint. How does one befriend a saint? Here's how. First, get know some saints. Read their biographies and read and pray some of the prayers they composed. Second, once you find a couple of particular saints, regularly ask for their intercession on certain matters. Third, practice the virtues in the way that they did. Take a direct cue but adapt it for today.

Cancer runs rampant because it convinces other cells to malfunction, or at least, that is the theory. The Church is a Body and each of us a living stone, or said another way, cells within the body. Are you a cell that will be easily swayed to become cancerous? Let the saints fortify you against all destructive forces.

And to get you started, here are two who still influence me greatly: and

And your point is...?
I recently overheard a priest from another diocese responding to a layman's comment about his not being in clerical attire. He raised some apparently historical account of the future Pope John XXIII (Angelo Roncalli) who, at the time he was Apostolic Delegate in Turkey, faced government persecution of the Church. Clergy there at that time, so the account goes, were not permitted to wear religious garb. I guess a priest decked out in mufti apologized to the Apostolic Delegate Roncalli for his not being in clerical attire. Roncalli is said to have responded to the effect: certainly you know, Father, the clothing doesn't make the priest. The priest whose comment I heard then went on to report to the layman that Roncalli even ordered priests in Turkey at the time to offer the Holy Mass in the vernacular. Apparently, there were significant numbers of French priests in Turkey at that time and they had been proclaiming the readings and the homily in French.

First, let me comment on the vernacular before going on. You know, Roncalli's command that priests in TURKEY cease using FRENCH at Holy Mass really doesn't strike me as all that amazing. Of course, the invoking of the name of the future pope and blessed, I guess is supposed to convince us that the use of the vernacular is an 11th Commandment! Is Roncalli's order all that surprising? He was giving a pastoral direction for Turkish people who, I guess, didn't know a lick of French. Duh! And, though I haven't checked (because I really don't care), I'm not sure that Roncalli's directive meant that Latin for the ordinary parts of the Holy Mass was totally abandoned. Rather, his directive could have simply put an end to the proclaiming of the readings and homily in a language that was not that of the local people.

So, I guess this priest thought these historical stories demonstrated something for his local situation and the explanation for his own lack of clerical attire. I almost released a ragemonkey on him! I wanted to approach him and say, "And your point is? Certainly, the clothing doesn't make the person, but, uh, the last time I checked, Father, we live in a land of freedom, it is 2004, and we aren't under any overt government persecution! So, please, walk us back through 1930's Turkey, grab our hands, and help us jump with you across the enormous irrational canyon you just crossed, because I fail to see how your example provides ANY compelling explanation for your frequent inability to wear clerical attire!"

I'm not saying a priest must always and everywhere be in clerical attire. But for the most part, I believe his donning of mufti should not be a regular practice. And, don't even get me started on this priest's wacky liturgics and poor theology.

The Answer is...

No flourishes. Let's get to it.

The Answers for Last Round

A. Marcion: Many people guess Martin Luther but as I had just used him I would hope that most folks would have eliminated him. Also, the move to exclude certain books from the Bible was more about avoiding Catholic doctrine than treating them as though they were unnecessary. Now, Marcion was a different story. Marcion was a first century heretic who rejected the Old Testament wholesale and large swathes of the New Testament with it.

B. Utraquism: I think that is how you spell it. This heresy was and is becoming more popular. This heresy rejects the notion of natural concommitance in reference of the Holy Eucharist. In answering the question of how is the Lord present in the Blessed Sacrament, the Church teaches, in line with St. Thomas Aquinas, that the whole Christ is present under each of the eucharistic species. How is this possible? Because, if the Holy Eucharist is the real body of Christ, and it is a living sacrifice, then where the Body is, the Blood, Soul, and Divinity must also be present. The same applies to the Precious Blood. An utraquist would say that you imperfectly received communion if you only received under one species. Go back and re-read the original set-up.

Next Round

The rules are the same. I give the set up; you give me the error. Example A. is a particular person / Protestant Reformer / Religious Loony. Example B. is a defined heresy. And now a new feature: PRIZES! This is not a joke. The first person to answer correctly with their choice of one of two books. This week's selection are: A First Glance at Saint Thomas Aquinas: A Handbook for Peeping Thomists by Ralph McInerny or The Men and the Message of the Old Testament by Peter Ellis. Second Place will get the leftovers. The game runs until next Saturday when I will post the winner's name and contact you by email. Then you can send me the address to deliver your most excellent prize.

A. One of the co-owners of the bar comes in and stays to one of the bartenders, "You aren't pouring that beer correctly." To one of the waitresses, he says, "Lower that skirt." She responds, "It's already to my ankles." He says, "Lower it!" When the other owner of the bar comes in, he says, "Why are you doing this?" The first man says, "The Franchise Owner told me too." "Well, he's not here. How do you know?" "I have a very special relationship with the Franchise Owner, and He tells me." "If that is the case", the other owner says, "you can get out!"

B. A man walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender comes over and says, "Hey your father was just in here." The man pulls off a mask and says, "I am my father and I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling bartenders."

One Day More...
Another day, another destiny / this never ending road to Calvary...

The latest round of Name that Heresy will come to a close tomorrow. Scan through the archives and get into the game.

And next round...Prizes!

In response to Frustration
In the comments area, Jim commented on his frustration. I am glad he felt he could voice his sense of distress at the situation. It sounds like for lots of our readers there are a couple of lights in the clerical sky where they live. But I suspect Jim is not alone in this. So I offer this observation. It might not comfort. It might even be a little incendiary. So proceed with fair warning.

In the seminary and in my previous assignments, I would often get down or feel lonely or desperate. I especially felt this way when it seems like no one was on my side or I was in a particular constant screw up mode. Then while I was in seminary, in my personal prayer time before morning prayer, and I don't know what made me say this to myself, but I said, "Shane, you have one friend in the seminary. His name is Jesus Christ. In the final analysis, His is the only friendship that matters, so don't blow it. If Jesus turns some of his friends to you, that's a bonus. But you have one friend in the seminary. He is Jesus Christ."

For those who are frustrated you must fast and pray. By coming to know the only friend you have in that parish or diocese, his name is Jesus Christ, He will direct you to others who are His friends. Or His Priests. Pray that He would send someone who is His friend to be your pastor or your bishop. I know of a place that was mismanaged and mangled by a pastor for more than a decade. One of the parishioners said to me, "We have prayed for all this time for a real priest. Now we have one."

Giggle!
I am putting the letter to HOPE in the post today. Someone email me in two weeks and remind me to check for a response...

Can I borrow your cell phone?

I need it for George Carlin. Now he can call someone who cares?! Oh, for the days of Lenny Bruce, who worked blue, granted, but was oh, original and witty and, well, you get the picture...

George Carlin is foul and frankly, quite anti-Catholic. I don't know about Lenny Bruce. Although to Carlin's credit, his early stuff is very funny and original. Now, he sounds like an old hippie winding down...

Lenten Reflection #6 is up

Steps to Authentic Reform: St. Barnabas
For the next couple of weeks, I will be putting up some ideas I have been having about Reform in the Church. The idea is to give an idea and a way to implement it. The most important part is that they are relatively simple and can be done by anyone. Reform doesn't require a big pointy hat to make happen.

I have always found this comment from the Acts of the Apostles interesting. Acts 4:36 reads, "Thus Joseph, also named by the apostles Barnabas (which is translated "son of encouragement"), a Levite, a Cypriot by birth." Barnabas is not the man's given name, it's a nickname that describes the character of his apostolate. Therefore, it seems that encouragement is a necessary assistance to those who have apostolic ministry.

So, Step One: Encourage a good priest. As pastor, I have come across this strange paradox. Your enemies are the most outspoken. The people who support you never or rarely open their mouths. In situations where a new pastor is trying to clean up old messes, he needs all the support he can get. Today, or at least on Sunday, encourage the orthodox, excellent priests of your parish universe.

How? Compliment them on the things that they are doing that promote the Gospel and especially the Gospel of Life. If they are good homilists, compliment that. Or good counselors. Or what ever. It could be a note or a dozen cookies, although I would deliver cookies after Lent. Give the compliment now. But whatever it is, be specific. Generic comments are not as helpful.

Why? Priests are like the front line soldiers and nothing is more disheartening than run out into the battlefield of the world only to find yourself alone. Make your presence seen in the army of the Lord. I can guarantee that knowing that the people support him, this will embolden him to go for more.

Faithful in Small Matters = Faithful in Large Matters?

For those who wonder about reform in the Church and who long for it, I have got a counter culture claim to make. If you are looking at big changes and saying, "Wow, that's a good sign," forget it. Big Changes are usually cosmetic. If you are looking for reform, look for small changes. More on this when I respond to Fr. H's earlier and excellent post.

I have finally found the source of the Red Sox Curse. They eat meat on Good Friday, or at least, they encourage it. Here's the relevant link My reason for bringing this to your attention though is different. I say, "Way to Go, Boston Archdiocese." After all, Good Friday should be a day of particularly acute penance. What are people thinking? "We'll go to the 3 o'clock service and then catch the game. A beer will really help wash down that piece of bread. Too bad they didn't serve wine today. [I know that it is no longer bread or wine. Don't send me comments.] Oh, and by the way, thanks Jesus for saving me FROM NOTHING!"

But this is why I think real reform might be on the way. If people pay attention to the details of the faith, there is a reasonable assumption that the major issues of the faith will be taken seriously. Just call me a starry eyed optimist.

I'm at a total loss
I really don't think I am terribly naive or ridiculously optimistic, but certain things simply are not conceivable on the radar of my world vision. Fr. Tharp can tell you how very often we have a conversation in which I express surprise, outrage, disbelief at something (not necessarily always church related). Usually, after I spit out whatever I find shocking, once I get the issue out on the table, he usually says something like, "And you find that surprising?" And then I know it is another one of those conversations where I must appear really naive.

Before I reveal the latest thing to bring out my surprise, allow me to direct words to any reader who may be a current parishioner: understand my words are motivated from a shepherd's heart who really fears for his people, especially for the younger generation. I do not intend this post to be a blanket condemnation of any parent or religious education teacher here. Sadly, I guess I am realizing, this is probably not a unique situation. Okay, on to the meat...[Dope! It's Lent].

Last evening I led our 7th and 8th grade youth group through the Stations of the Cross. They have two very dedicated teachers. It always impresses me when RE teachers ask a priest to spend time with their classes and suggest pious prayers and devotions. So I happily gathered in the church with the kids. I had prepared a brief statement about the devotion of the Stations, explaining a bit of its history and the notion of a spiritual pilgrimage. I gave a general run down of what we do at each station and practiced with them singing the Stabat Mater (in English). Now, I recognized a good portion of these kids (sadly, I can't say that of them all) as ones who attend Mass. Of the group, only three had ever been exposed to the Stations before. That is sad enough. It got worse.

As we began with the first station, I discovered many of these kids didn't know what the direction "genuflect" meant in the Station booklet. They had no idea what the word meant! It is something we learn from a very early age, something we do each and every time we enter and leave church, and yet they had no idea what the word meant? How is this possible? If these were small tikes, I could understand. These were 7th and 8th graders. It is simply unthinkable to me that one could grow up Catholic, be raised Catholic, and not know the word "genuflect" and the accompanying action it calls for. I was utterly astounded.

It made me re-think not just everything I had said to them that evening, but almost the entirety of my share in Christ's teaching office. I mean I had just spoken briefly about spiritual pilgrimage and Franciscans developing traditions and these kids don't even know what a genuflection is. What incomprehensible niceties the people must be hearing when I homilize (no jokes, please!) because I assumed we at least had genuflection down. How much lower can I set the bar? Can it even be truthfully said, in any sense, that these kids are being raised "Catholic"? And please don't think I am pointing fingers at parents who do all they can, only to have children leave the faith, but if I were a Catholic parent and my teenage child didn't know what a genuflection was...I would be worried for my salvation. I certainly knew we had lost generations to extremely poor catechesis, but I thought we at least had the genuflection down.

What a thought!
Just when I thought that God would simply permit California to fall off into the sea, there appears to be some semblance of rationality and order in that part of the country. Here's the headline.

I recognize it is a small win. But a necessary change of direction needed to stem the flow of those who assumed it was a done deal.

But here's a question for the con lawyers out there. By adapting the definition of marriage and placing the civil expression of marriage in direct contravention of religious definition of marriage, doesn't this violate both the establishment and free exercise clauses of the First Amendment? I mean, I am not a lawyer, but I could play one on T.V. You can see, the big beard, the Armani suit. Have your people call my people.

Miss Me?
Sorry to be away for the last couple o' days. Had my priest support group and then preached a penance rite in Duncan, OK. Best part of Duncan was reconciling a person to the Church who had been away for 60 YEARS! Man, Grace is Awesome!

Back on the letter to HOPE, thanks for all the positive feedback. Yes, these people are sneaky and really need a good solid shake. Some of you wondered what "perichoretic" meant. Perichoresis is the technical theological term in Greek for the interpentration and circumincession of the persons of the Holy Trinity. It is meant to describe the complete gift of self and return of that gift within the Godhead. Someone told me once that it derives from a type of Greek circle dance where the dancers move in and out of the ring, hence the connection to the Trinity. However, my systematics prof at St. Charles in Philly dismissed this.

Link update
I just noticed that Fr. Jeffrey Keyes, C.PP.S., has moved his blog, The New Gasparian, over to St. Blog's. Our link has been updated; yours should be too. His old address on blogspot will remain as an archive of material up to this date.

And while I'm at it [Part III]

Shouldn't the animals at least go to Confession before receiving Holy Communion? Look at the sin we find in the animal kingdom. The drug abuse alone among roving bands of adolescent animals is truly disturbing. What else could they be getting into that might separate them from the Sacraments?

And for the record [Part II]
I am anticipating the response to my post directly below and taking a preemptive strike. For the record, I am an animal lover. I have no problem with pet blessings (outside, not in church) on the Feast of St. Francis. I took Francis of Assisi as my Confirmation name. I have a picture of my late dog with Santa -- one framed and one in my wallet. I cried when my beloved dog died (which I don't expect to see in heaven). So, please don't paint me a cold-hearted animal hater. But a clear line needs to be drawn between valuing a pet according to its place in the hierarchy of being and craziness that extends to pets rational capacities and even excessive medical care that we don't manage to give to certain impoverished persons in society!

At what age should pets receive Holy Communion? [Part I]
Thanks to Fr. Sibley's blog for alerting me to this. This is so crazy! Talk about the wrong focus for worship. Uh, hello, worship is, first and foremost, directed toward GOD!!! GOD!!! NOT DOG!!! Nor any other creature, whether angelic, human, animal, vegetable, mineral, etc. AAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!

The article seems to suggest both that pets are given "Holy Communion" and that they are blessed in the distribution line. Lord, I hope it is, at most, the latter! Of course, since the places that do these pet services probably don't have a Holy Communion that is Christ's true Body and Blood, I suppose I should tone down the raging. NOT!!!

I knew the article would be chuck full of poor theology and utter stupidity. And I found it in some unexpected places. Here are some examples:

"For devout pet lover Kathleen Eickwort, of Ocala, Fla., these developments are welcome. When her dog, Sarge, was diagnosed with non-Hodgkins lymphoma in June, she made religion a part of his treatment. In addition to chemotherapy, Sarge received a 20-minute visit from the rector of Ms. Eickwort's Episcopal church, who touched him and prayed for his recovery. Sarge also went to church twice. Now, his cancer is in remission." The dog underwent chemotherapy?! OH, please! Make Sarge comfortable for as long as you reasonably can, and then give him some sleepy juice! I mean, come on!

"Mary Wilkinson was happy that she had brought Purr Box Jr. in to be blessed for his digestive problems. Now, she says she plans to come back each month, rotating her 11 other cats." Uh, yeah, can anyone say nut case? TWELVE freakin' cats?! Could twelve cats in one domicile possibly be the origin of Purr Box, Jr.'s problems? I don't know, I'm just thinking the putrid stench of the litter boxes for 12 cats can't possibly aid one's digestion!

And finally,
"Last summer, a member of St. Francis Episcopal Church in Stamford began bringing her King Charles Spaniel on Sunday mornings; soon, several other attendees were regularly bringing their dogs." Couldn't anyone have told this person to STOP?! I mean, I suppose what we have here is the canine equivalent to Call to Action or Voice of the Faithful -- changing things by simply taking authority that is not theirs. OH, gosh, excuse me, that should have been "Bark of the Faithful!"

Lenten Reflection #5 is up

In Tribute To Our 5,000th Visitor

We here at Catholic Ragemonkey never anticipated the many and varied reactions our blog would receive. Only weeks ago, the notion of thousands of people putting up with Fr. Tharp's hostile foaming at the mouth, in order to read my humor, commentary, and inspired reflections seemed far fetched at best. But here we are: 5,000 visitors. We thank you, dear readers. I suppose we erroneously presumed our blog's hostile take over would be more along this pace. As proof that there has not been any Floridian-like tampering with the visitor count, we offer the above photo of a protest now taking place outside of Catholic Ragemonkey Headquarters. While we are flattered by the desire of some visitors to vote more than once, we refuse to lower our ethical standards.

It's mine, mine, mine...
I just mailed my LAST car payment! It's mine, mine, mine...the P-R-E-C-I-O-U-S!!! Okay, calling a 2000 Buick Regal with 85,000 miles on it "the precious", is probably a bit much. But it is mine! Now if it can only remain road-worthy for several more thousand miles...

From the "More Rage, Less Monkey" file...

In a previous post, Fr. Hamilton shared with you, our faithful readers, a letter he was sending to a group called HOPE, that is active in the Archdiocese. This group is VOTF and Call to Action lite. Same agenda, same nonsense. The bishop has gone so far as to prevent them from meeting on diocesan property, but I am still waiting for the throat crushing.

Anyway, so that you would not think that I am a big wuss, I decided to post my letter. Mine is of a different tenor than Fr. H's. Mine is more Rage, less Monkey. As someone invested with the teaching office of Christ due to my ordination to the Priesthood, I feel it is my obligation to shake people ever now and again.

Comments are welcome, but I am taking this draft to the bishop to look over. So it will probably will go out on Friday.

March 9, 2004

Dear HOPE:

I read with interest your recent letter to the priests of the Archdiocese. I apologize for not responding sooner. That is how the life of a busy pastor goes.

Frankly, I was a little nervous about responding to your letter. I was not, as your letter implied, nervous that the ordinary would find out about this communication. I was nervous that my acknowledgment would lend credence to both your proposal and your methods. Permit the opportunity to comment on both.

As to the methods of this survey, I cannot express how offended I am. Your suggestion that I need the cloak of anonymity to approach my archbishop concerning controversial matters is simply astounding. If you are not aware of this, but on the day of my ordination to the diaconate, I made a promise of respect and obedience to my archbishop. I renewed that promise the night I was ordained a priest of Jesus Christ. For the last three years, and again this year, I intend to renew that same promise of obedience and respect to my archbishop. People who respect one another say things to each other directly, face to face. I don’t need an anonymous survey to discuss things with him. I can bring any concern, problem, or difficulty to him at any time.

As to the purpose of this survey, again I am offended by your action. If a group of my brother priests in Milwaukee want to open a discussion concerning mandatory celibacy, I can respect that. I might not agree but I can respect that. They must live by this regulation and therefore, they are the ones to open that discussion. But sir, I don’t know you from Adam. You don’t share the hardships and joys of the office of priesthood with me or my brothers in this diocese. I am shocked that you would make this proposal for me. It would be equivalent in my mind if I opened a discussion on your behalf to permit polygamy. This is why, I suspect, that you and the group you represent do not have the best of motives or intentions when it comes to this topic.
As my sainted mother used to say, “Only thieves and thugs hang out in the shadows.”

As to the question of a discussion of mandatory celibacy, I found this most amusing. What do you think I did with those seven years of formation in the seminary? Do you think that the question of living chaste celibacy a.) never crossed my mind and b.) never was discussed? Every year when I was in the seminary, we discussed, prayed about, and practiced this discipline and I have come to love the gift and charism of celibacy. We don’t need the discussion because it has already taken place in the intimate depths of the soul.

A discussion of mandatory celibacy is not needed; a renewal of its meaning is. Divesting the Western Church of this charism would destroy the iconic character of ministerial priesthood. The ministerial priest is a three fold icon. He is first the icon of Christ the Bridegroom. His celibacy chastity signs in his flesh the covenantal love of Christ for His Church, for whom he gave up his life. He is also the icon of Christ the High Priest. By his celibacy, he signs in his flesh a dedication of his life, above and before all else, in service to God. Through his configuration to Christ both through the sacramental character and an outward conformity, the ministerial priest is the perfection of the priesthood of Aaron and the Levites. He is the icon of Christ, our eschatological future. In heaven there will be no marriage or giving in marriage. When one looks at a celibate ministerial priest, or a consecrated religious, he should see that glory of our future where all will be directed to the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, in a perichoretic gift of self.

In closing, if any of my comments need further elaboration I would be more than happy to meet with you or your group and spell out these matters in greater detail.

In Christ, Our True Savior,

Rev. Shane Tharp
Pastor, Sacred Heart, Alva.

cc: Most Reverend Eusebius J. Beltran

Pass Out the Cigars! New Bishops Are Born!

Or at least being reassigned. Yes, I have been checking the Vatican website for information about the appointment of bishops to open sees. And no, I haven't sent the order form for my miter just yet. But it is filled out and sitting on my desk should the call come.

Anyway congratulations to the following (arch)dioceses: Ad multos annos!

WORCESTER, MA : S.E. Mons. Robert Joseph McManus
OGDENSBURG, NY : Mons. Robert Joseph Cunningham
SPRINGFIELD, MA : S.E. Mons. Timothy Anthony McDonnell
KANSAS CITY-SAINT JOSEPH, MO (Co-adjutor) :Mons. Robert W. Finn

That mischievous spirit
As Fr. Tharp and I explored the wild, wacky world of sedevacantist schismatics, that mischievous spirit came over me. I viewed the photo gallery for the "true Catholic Church" and I just couldn't resist. On the home page for "His Holiness, Pope Pius XIII," I noticed an option to e-mail the "Papal Secretary." So, I devised the following e-mail (it may only make sense if you visit their site and look at the photos, especially here, and here):
8 March 2004

To Whom It May Concern:

I have just visited your web site and I have viewed your many wonderful photos.

What an exciting time this must be for the true Catholic Church! And I can see from your photo gallery that the Holy Spirit must surely be with you. I give you that compliment because I can tell that you have responded to the promptings of the Second Vatican Council. It is abundantly evident from your photos that you have been moved toward the "noble simplicity" in liturgical rites, called for in the Council's magnificent document on the Sacred Liturgy. You are to be congratulated on simplifying rites, using less grandiose sanctuaries, and bringing the liturgy so close to the people, it is actually in their living rooms! This is truly a fruit of the Council. May you continue to serve as credible witnesses to the Second Vatican Council. May the rest of the Church follow!

And I was graced with this response:

I must say that yours is a very odd email. If you read the website, even cursory reading, you would know that V2 invented a new non-Catholic religion. The Catholic Church under Pope Pius XIII has condemned V2 and its leaders and its fruits. Your email implies that the Catholic Church is pro-V2...how WRONG that is.

In subsequent reading of your email, it appears that you have written this as a parody, perhaps as an attempt to mock God's one true Church. If so, may God have mercy on you.

Fr. Lyons

A parody? Moi? You think so?

Genius and a Happy Life Oft Meet Not

I was saddened to read of the untimely death of Spalding Gray. Mr. Gray was a very talented author, actor, and monologist. I became acquainted with his work in the movie, "Swimming to Cambodia," where Gray tells the story of his part in the movie, "The Killing Fields." He had a passionate, almost neurotic, obsession with observation and language.

Of course with genius came some self destructive tendencies, and these apparently got the better of him. May he rest in peace.

New Ecumenical Efforts

As a convert to the Catholic Faith, ecumenism is, almost, by nature, a subject of interest to me. "After all, I was able to scale the fence why can't they", I say. But I am dubious that excepting the Orthodox and certain sedevadicanist groups we will see the traditional arm of Protestantism return to the Church en masse. So here at CRM, I would like to introduce you to one of my favorite anti-Popes, Pope Pius XIII. Here's a picture of him at his election.



Looks good, right? Of course running the new papal states can be expensive, so I would like to suggest to "His Holiness" that he think of creating a "brand". All of the products could include the word "Papal" as part of the franchise.

Take a look at this picture from the burning of the ballots of his election.



What does that remind you of? It reminds me of pancake syrup. So the ad line might be, It's so wonderful / to start your day / the Papal Maple Syrup way. Then a shot of thick wonderful maple syrup pouring over pancakes or waffles. The announcer could explain how early each morning the "Holy Father" goes out with the only priest he has ordained, Fr. Robert Lyons, to gather each golden drop of maple sap for their syrup. They would wear a feriola and a gremial because face it, the feriola is so darned pratical and the gremial would be wonderfully functional in this case. Of course, you would have to run a separate ad for Lent so that no bacon or sausage would be featured. After the syrup spreads over the plate, the announcer voice comes back on, saying Papal Maple Syrup. It's infallibly delicious and indefectably good!"

For more pseudo-pontifical hijinks, surf over to True Catholic. But if it starts making sense, lay down, take a shot of bourbon and place the Catechism on your head.

It's Either This or That!

Please check out this picture from the Kerry Campaign. I picked it up at the Drudge Report. Here's a link to the associated article.



Now, where do you think he is speaking? It looks like a church. So here is today's this or that. Either this is a case of someone exploiting the DUMBEST Catholic priest in town or that John Kerry loves his Catholic Faith so much that he will spend Sunday in a Protestant Church. Either way, the U.S. loses.

What's a priest to do?
I was really flabbergasted. Back in December a young Hispanic boy came to the rectory door, a running truck with tinted windows was waiting for him in the parking lot. I assume the truck contained a parent, probably his father. The boy was looking for some youth meeting of dancers in preparation for the celebration of the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe. Since I was not aware of where the meeting was taking place, I led him over to the parish hall. And then I saw it.

On the gate of the truck bed was an ENORMOUS white Playboy Bunny. I couldn't believe it. I mean, folks, you can't miss this thing -- it takes up the entire center portion of the truck gate. The driver, presumably a male parishioner, drives around town advertising pornography and, most likely, his addiction to it. And, I guess he sees nothing wrong with it. After all, anyone who sees the truck can't miss this ad. Furthermore, I can only assume as much since he must feel comfortable parking this truck in the church parking lot. He even brings his son to parish events in it. I can't imagine driving around town with such a thing on my car, much less actually coming to church and parking my car in the lot.

And, the next concern I have as a priest, is that young boy. What is he learning? How likely is he to grow in holiness, to be serious about discipleship and conversion, when he realizes (if he hasn't already) what that bunny means?!

I don't know what to do. It seems like something should be said. The next time I see that car parked somewhere in town, I think I am going to find the driver, ask him if he is a parishioner, and then question him on the bunny.

Wait a minute! Is that...
...Andrea Bocelli and Celine Dion or maybe Josh Groban and Charlotte Church at the parish penance service? One would think so, considering that the popular song "The Prayer" was used after the first reading at one parish I visited to assist with Confessions. No, it was not my parish, or Fr. Tharp's. By the way, I really like the song -- I sing along with it when I hear it -- but in NON-LITURGICAL settings, please!

When will the madness end? How long, O Lord...?

A welcome surprise

Well, kids, I didn't think I would have anything to blog about. Silly Rabbit. Thanks to Jeff, the Curt Jester and Victor at Et Cetera for this. This is going to push up my pitching of the series based on my fantasy life as a secret agent, "Fr. Tharp, Priest of Rome." I thought Dave was working on the PITCH but SOMEONE dropped the ball...(Just a jest, we have been kicking that around the office for a couple of years now.)

And speaking of rabbits...this is both strange and wonderful.

No Soliciting
What does that mean? It is clearly posted at the entrance to this town's movie theatre complex. Would you think it ought to apply to a local Baptist pastor handing out his ecclesial community's fliers WITHIN the theatre complex, directly in front of the entrance to the particular screen showing "The Passion?" But apparently that is what happened. A seminarian from this parish informed me the pastor was handing out fliers as people were exiting the screening of "The Passion."

I have a good mind to call the theatre, not to lodge a formal complaint, but simply to ask when I may come and invite movie patrons to Stations of the Cross -- assuming the manager would want to offer equal time to all of the clergy in town. If nothing else, I am sure my assumption of equal opportunity would alert the manager to enforce his own policy before things get out of hand with every minister requesting an opportunity. If it weren't for the fact that the manager gave that special free screening to local clergy, I would probably call him.

Of course, but the real issue is what I see as taking advantage of people who have just had an intensely emotional (and spiritual?) experience. Perhaps my cradle Catholicism a priori sets me against such street corner, doorbell ringing, typically Protestant methods of "evangelization." But isn't there something objectively wrong with this too?

Graces in the Panhandle
Last night was my parish's Lent Penance Rite, where we invite many priests to come and assist with Confessions. The priests represented five states: Oklahoma, Kansas, Texas, New Mexico, and Colorado! Yes, ministry out here in the far western reaches of Oklahoma requires cooperation with priests from other states who are nearer to us than the rest of our own archdiocese. Fr. Tharp was also here to assist; I will return the favor at his parish in a few weeks.

Considering penitents, the service was well-attended. I know I heard about 19 confessions. Assuming that was about average (I know some priests heard more, some less), then we had at least 200, maybe upwards of 225, people in attendance.

I had not one native English speaker come to me. I wasn't expecting that. Certainly a large part of my work in this parish is Hispanic ministry -- Hispanics are the majority of our parishioners. A significant portion of that majority speak no English whatsoever. If truth be told, Hispanics are also the reason this town has not dried up. They come here for jobs, largely at the local hog farms and the pork processing plant, and they prop up the population since, by and large, Anglos aren't reproducing.

Though I say the Holy Mass in Spanish and do Baptisms too, I try to avoid confession because I don't have much conversational ability. I can read the language perfectly, without an American accent, but that's because I am reading from a book or text. When it comes to speaking and understanding what someone is saying to me, it is much harder. But I guess that so many of these people have seen me offer the Holy Mass in their language, they naturally assume I must be able to handle it. I didn't do half bad, but it isn't a very comfortable experience for me. Most of the people who came to me last night were Hispanic children making their first Confession. In retrospect, it doesn't surprise me they came to me. I had spoken personally to each class in preparation for this Sacrament to explain what to do, to show them the Confessional, and to answer their questions. I am sure since they saw me in an other-than-Mass setting, I was a bit more of a familiar, friendly face. I don't write any of this to say I regret last night, it's just another one of those experiences I never thought I would have. I suppose their is one regret: I wish more of our Anglos would come to Confession.

Teach me how to pray!
Following the prompting of at least two gospels from this past week and today's account of Jesus ascending the Mount of the Transfiguration, my homily this week was about prayer. Specifically, I think a lesson we can learn from Peter's being too quick to speak and to plan and to do, is precisely what the voice from the cloud said: "This is my chosen Son; listen to him." And then Peter, John, and James, "fell silent." We too need to go away to a quiet place, to listen and to be silent. Lord knows we provide ourselves enough distractions in prayer (a problem the Catechism calls a habitual difficulty, cf. CCC 2729).

Anyway, thinking about prayer and the constant work to grow in its exercise, tenderly calls to mind what I think is my first memory of prayer. It comes from a prayer card given to my Holy Child Academy Kindergarten class in Memphis, TN, by our teacher, Sr. Mary Samuel, O.P., of the Nashville Dominicans, now one of the four foundresses of the Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist. She can be seen on the far right of this picture. Here is the prayer:Lovely Lady dressed in blue-----
Teach me how to pray!
God was just your little boy,
Tell me what to say!

Did you lift Him up, sometimes,
Gently on your knee?
Did you sing to Him the way
Mother does to me?

Did you hold His hand at night?
Did you ever try
Telling stories of the world?
O! And did He cry?

Do you really think He cares
If I tell Him things-----
Little things that happen? And
Do the Angels' wings

Make a noise? And can He hear
Me if I speak low?
Does He understand me now?
Tell me----for you know.

Lovely Lady dressed in blue
Teach me how to pray!
God was just your little boy,
And you know the way.

Care to share your first memory of prayer?

Killing me softly with his song
And who is he? Tom Conry. It is the start of the second week of Lent and it finally happened. Ashes -- the song! If truth be told, it should really be "killing me swiftly." Aaaaagggghhhhh!

See Fr. Keyes' treatment of this at the New Gasparian. Also, an article by George Weigel on sacred music is quite good, as are most things George does.

The other thing that kills me is the replacement of the responsorial psalm chosen by the Church with songs adapted from or loosely based upon a psalm. What happens when I, as the homilist, want to make hefty reference to the psalm, only to have it pulled out from underneath my homily like some worn rug? It reminds me how much the priest needs to be involved in clearly training those who assist in any fashion, as well as training the whole parish, about the very essence of the Holy Mass.

And this is not the fault of the laity. I believe priests have been for many decades now largely laissez-faire regarding the Sacred Liturgy. The laity who are paid or who volunteer to plan and play music are often just thrown into the project with no theological or pastoral training. They do the best they can and they presume, and rightly so, that hymns found in approved books are fair game. Sadly, I'm not impressed with many of the contemporary choices in approved hymnals. I think priests need to be far more involved in all aspects of the planning of the Sacred Liturgy. We need to be far more discriminating regarding musical selections. And please, please, do not withhold Latin from parishes until Lent, promoting the idea that using the Church's sacred treasury of Latin is some sort of "penance."

Psalm 74 has become my cry when considering the ruins of what has been the rape and pillage of the Sacred Liturgy, lo these many decades.

"Turn your steps toward the utter ruins, toward the sanctuary devastated by the enemy. Your foes roared triumphantly in your shrine; they set up their own tokens of victory. They hacked away like foresters gathering boughs, swinging their axes in a thicket of trees. They smashed all your engraved work, pounded it with hammer and pick. They set your sanctuary on fire; the abode of your name they razed and profaned. They said in their hearts, "Destroy them all! Burn all the shrines of God in the land!" (Ps. 74:3-8).

Dentist Office, Bank, or Church?

There is a reasonable possibility that sometime in my priestly ministry here in the Archdiocese that I will be asked to found a parish and build its church. When I think of this, I get a twisting pain in my gut because I would want a little Chartes on the prairie and the parish would probably want a little dentist office. And then as I prepared my notes for my Catechism class, I found this paragraph in the Catechism.

"(#1186) Finally, the church has an eschatological significance. To enter into the house of God, we must cross a threshold, which symbolizes passing from the world wounded by sin to the world of the new Life to which all men are called. The visible church is a symbol of the Father's house toward which the People of God is journeying and where the Father "will wipe every tear from their eyes." Also for this reason, the Church is the house of all God's children, open and welcoming."

I think that if anyone was going to be on the building committee they would have to understand that to build a church is to make a statement of faith. And the parish would have to be willing to carry debt for a long time.

I don't think I have a point other than did this mentality expressed in #1186 find expression in your church?

Overheard while in seminary....

(During an ecclesiology lecture)

Msgr. Richard Malone: "Gentlemen, every heresy lasts only about 500 years. So you will have to be ready to pick up the pieces when the Lutherans and Episcopalians self-destruct."

(That's my kind of ecumenism!)

What is that flushing sound?

Well, just when you thought the Episocopalians couldn't make any more strange decisions, here's a new one. Apparently, they have erected the first Internet Parish.

The best part is the quote from the mastermind of this strategy. "I-church is different from a local congregation. Although i-church is a sacramental community, there is no obligation on members to meet together," said the church's website. Uhhhh...what? A sacrament is predictated on a visible sign. If people are not getting together where is the necessary visible sign?

That cinches it. I am sending a letter to the bishop tommorrow requesting that he permit a couple of city parishes to celebrate the Anglo-Catholic Rite. It is obvious that well-meaning Episcopalians are going to be headed for the door sooner or later. It would behoove us to make the transition easier.

Chimp Change? Rumors of Coup May Be True After All...

Since the ouster of ex-priest Jean Bertrand Aristide from Haiti, I have come to realize that position as Gorilla Presidente might be in danger. I should never have taken advice from a Howard Dean staffer on how to post comments about comments. But that isn't the only problem. After all, there are enemies everywhere...


Then I spotted this Article at Yahoo! News which I thought spelled my demise. Apparently, there is CHIMP CHANGE on the horizons. But thankfully, for once, it was not all about me.

If I am ousted, I can still find comfort in some lovely jungle elsewhere. "Don't Cry For Me, O Blogsphere. The truth is I'll never leave you. Although it may get harder, for me to log on, I am a Ragemonkey, and always will be..."

If I could just get my hair into that blasted chignon.

Answers to Last Round / Welcome to the Next Round

Answers to the Last Round

A.Joseph Smith: I really struggled with how to give enough information without just telling you what the answer was. The Decaf was a dead giveaway.

B.Donatism: The issue in donatism is that the effectiveness of the sacrament is contingent upon the worthiness of the minister. This lead to the great distinction between ex opere operato, by the work worked, and ex opere operantis, by the work working. The easy way to understand this distinction is think in terms of objective and subjective sacrament life. The objective nature is operato and the sacrament is the sacrament. The subjective nature is operantis and this is how the person experiences the celebration of the sacrament or their personal reception of the graces of the sacrament.

On to the Next Round: Get ready...Name That Heresy!

In each example, the set up describes, to the best of its ability, a particular heresy or heretic. The A. example is a heretic, protestant reformer, or religious loony. The B. example is a defined heresy. You have a week. Please leave your answers in the comments area and this one's a little harder.

A. A man walks into a bar and begins to rip pages out of the menu. Then he goes behind the bar and throws out specific brands of beer. The bartender, enraged, comes up behind, grabs him, and loudly demands, "What the #&@$%$%^ are you doing?" The Man says, "It's all right. They aren't necessary any more."

B. A man returns from the bar and kisses his wife on the cheek. She asks him, "Did you drink a beer?" "Yep," the man says. "And did you eat some peanuts?" "No," the man replies. "Well, then you didn't go to the bar at all."

Our Operant Philosophy

We here at CRM want people to understand why we do what we do. I think this sums it up nicely.

That Orange Jumpsuit Will Clash With Everything!

I actually like Martha Stewart. Is she a nice person? That is left open to some interpretation. But sadly, the case of the new Queen of Mean (move aside Leona Helmsley) has been resolved. Guilty on four counts. This means jail time and perhaps the collapse of her empire. After all, like a plastic surgeon who operates on himself, her face and image were and are the brand. Once the stink is on, it is impossible to wash off.

But I find Martha a curious target. Ken Lay and others like him walked away from the wreckage of other peoples' finances with literal golden parachutes. But the oppobrium that is saved up for Martha surprises me. Actually, it doesn't.

Martha Stewart knew that if she was going to make it in the business world she was going to have to have two things to make a success of it: 1. a vision and 2. unswerving will. When men have those qualities, they are called innovators and leaders. When women demonstrate it, the name used for them commonly doesn't occur outside of a kennel.

So long, Martha. We'll keep the stew warm until you get back. At least now everything in the prison will finally match those tacky jumpsuits. Orange, really!

You have 12 Hours Remaining

You have 12 hours remaining for this round of "Name That Heresy." Round Three was well responded to. But it is obvious to me that we have a very literate readership. Exxxxxcellent.

Here's the link. Leave your answer here or there, it doesn't matter.

P.S. The hoof is better but still dragging it around.

Techmonkey Dave here. Did you know Father Tharp got a new license plate this week?

I had nothing to do with this
Okay, let me set the stage. I live in a small town in the spacious Oklahoma Panhandle, also known as "No Man's Land." Folks, we are way out here! Take a look at a map of Oklahoma and you'll see the town of Guymon in that long narrow part of the state on the left side. Much to my delight, our locale recently took a step toward more swanky living. In the new and expansive Hallmark store is a coffeshop, set off in the corner, painted with warm colors, together with a fireplace and nice brick hearth. I'm thinking of beginning my fireside catechetical chats there!

Today, I had to buy several sympathy cards and so I decided to take my first test of the coffee shop. As I walked into the coffee area, I noticed their sign advertising the drink of the day: The Spicy Monkey Latte! I had nothing to do with this; but I did try it. I am not much of a fan of the artificial flavor syrups in coffee. I pretty much just go for unadulterated java drinks. The silly syrups can stay on the shelf as far as I am concerned. But, of course, given this blog, I felt compelled to try the Spicy Monkey. It wasn't bad, a nice Lavazza Italian coffee with a dose of gingerbread and coconut flavoring.

So, what will be next? Will I be compelled to buy Samsonite?

I guess you could say 'He had a hand in making her salad...'

From the gross but true files comes another reason to watch carefully what you are eating.

The important thing is would that break the abstinence for Lent?

Lenten Reflection #4 is up

Ancillary Blogging Benefits

I hobbled about the rectory long enough to check my email (none - a mixed blessing), check out Michael O'Brien's artwork on line (more on that later), and make some lunch.

In tribute to our co-blogger, I dug through the archives until I found the recipe he posted pre-Lent for Cream of Mushroom Soup. My review: Blogging is mmmmmm Good. He says that the soup will actually improve over time, and I believe it. As flavors unite and marry the silky creamy texture can only get better. Right now as I sip it at the computer, the flavor reminds me of good white sauces from Italian restaurants where the flavor lays on the tongue to be savored for several minutes after the bite is swallowed. It is a little on the "high-fat" side of the equation. Fr. provides some useful modifications, but I may take a whirl at changing the recipe myself. I only made one minor modification. When I doubled the recipe I managed to triple the amount of mushrooms. So mine is very chunky. Also, I think when I made it I had the heat too low. Aim more for the medium side of low if you are using an electric stove top.

Here's the link for soup if you want more info. Here's the Recipe:

Fr. Stephen Hamilton's Lent-tacular Cream of Mushroom Soup
1/4 Cup Butter
3/4 Cup Green Onion, chopped and including tops
2 Cups Fresh Mushrooms, chopped
2 Tablespoons Flour
1 Cup Half & Half (No fat type could be substituted)
1 Cup Chicken Broth (Low sodium type could be sub'd)
1/4 teaspoon Salt
1/8 teaspoon Pepper

I usually double the above recipe. I also tend to cut back slightly on the amount of onions. In a large skillet or soup pot cook chopped green onions in butter over low heat until tender. Add the chopped mushrooms and cook the mixture, stirring for several minutes (2-5 min). Add flour to the mixture and cook, stirring several minutes (3-5 min). Remove the pan from the heat. Add chicken broth and half & half in a steady stream, whisking. Put back on heat and bring to a boil over moderate heat. Simmer, stirring for several minutes (at least 5). Add salt and pepper. The flavor seems to come out much better if it is not eaten immediately, but made ahead of time and reheated later.

A face only a mother could love: Part 2
I know, blogging about Satan and that ugly baby scene from "The Passion" is all over the place. I promised in an earlier post that I would post whatever I could find on this issue. It appears here is the full, authoritative response from the Gibson camp.

No Blogging For Me, I'm Hurt.

Apparently I hurt my right foot yesterday after the Penance Rite in Woodward. This happens from time to time especially if I am on the road. I suspect I get my foot in an odd position while driving and being in that position for a long period of time it slowly gets over-extended. It could also be the fact that my height precludes beds of proper length.

So I am going to put my foot up and read for a while. Sitting at the computer will probably make the situation worse.

I Guess It Worked...Just Not In My Favor

I won't rescind the death sentences but I might rescind the blocking...oh, wait, is that supposed to be the other way around? =shrug=

Thanks to everyone who weighed in on the Harry Potter Post from yesterday. I really meant that to stimulate some conversation on the subject. No matter how people tell me that I am over-reacting, my gut tells me something is up. Sorry, Huck Finn's disobedience comes with a come-up-ance and some sense of change needed. Harry gets rewarded for the wrong doing. The magic component in Potter is of a different character than the presence of the supernatural in Narnia and LOTR, but for some they will say that I am splitting hairs. For a fine comparison on that point, please see Michael O'Brien's comments here.

The only criticism that I agree 100% with is Greg's that a large threat comes from Philip Pulliam quasi-Gnostic nonsense. The only caveat I would throw into that though he is not as well known or covered as Rowling's work. That and that OCP should be burned to the ground for the ridiculous music coming out of there.

Ragemonkey Blog Amnesty Day
Okay, I leave my post for approximately a day and a half, driving hundreds of miles around rural Oklahoma to hear Confessions, and I return to find that our faithful Silverback, Fr. Tharp, has gone on a jungle rampage, making a general execution threat. I suppose I now see anew my important role in this blog: to vicariously accept, on behalf of all of blog's people, Fr. Tharp's violent raging that sometimes boils to the surface. In other words, when I am in the jungle, near the monkey troop, Fr. Tharp has someone upon whom to focus his dominant status.

The ugly events of yesterday -- the denial of a Constitutional freedom, leading oh, so quickly to suppression and death threats -- prompts me to declare today as Catholic Ragemonkey Blog Amnesty Day! Who's in the spider hole now?

Hmmm. It also makes me wonder. I know a monkey troop is not based on democracy, but if it were, which of us would be elected monkey president?

I've Got a Few Title Suggestions for You, J.K.

Well, not that anyone should be surprised, we can expect even more Harry Potter coming in the near future.
Here are some titles I have thought of:

1. Harry Potter and the Puberty Monster
2. Harry Potter and the Uncontrollable Tingling Sensation when Hermione is Around
3. Harry Potter Gets A Real Job
4. Harry Potter Meets His New Boyfriend, Satan

If you haven't guessed, I really, REALLY hate Harry Potter and not just for the questionable occult content. I can't stand Harry because he is held up to the reader as some wonderful hero, when he is terribly unvirtuous i.e. vicious. This is exactly what I need, one more media outlet telling children that being snotty and breaking rules is okay so long as you save the day.

And the first person who comments that Harry Potter is good because he encourages reading and they like it will be both blocked and executed. Okay, blocked. Ragemonkey Hate Free Speech!

"How You Say 'Vogue' in Hebrew?

I'm sorry if your opinion of me just went down, but seriously...she is going to bring peace to Israel?

'Proof' of the Truth of the Holy Eucharist?

I am not one for puns but this story is too much. Thanks to Zorak at E-Pression (link below) for the story.

"Sister, remember. The substance changes...not the accidents..."

Ragemonkey Red Alert 3: On Kerry's Fait Accompli
The next words are not the words of a Catholic priest and bear no resemblance to a political ad, endorsing one candidate over another. This is not taken to be the opinion of the Catholic Church, my archbishop, or any other member of the Curia. It is just me, John Q. Catholic American. There. That should throw the IRS monitors off the trail.

There is one fundamental reason I will NEVER, NEVER, NEVER vote for John Kerry. If the election were between Charles Manson, Marilyn Manson, and John Kerry, the Manson Doublemint Twins would be more likely to receive my vote. John Kerry has no integrity. If he can say with a straight face, "I am personally opposed to abortion but cannot legislate others on this matter," then how does he propose to lead the country? When it comes down to policy, he has to make a decision that he thinks right and best for the country. So in lots and lots of cases, he will be doing exactly what he claims he cannot do on abortion, that is legislate to others and for others.

Or I'll put it to you another way. If he will abandon the elements of his faith, which if he understands them correctly lead to salvation, then why would I think that he would keep ANY promise he would make to me, the average voter? If he will abandon the Teaching of Christ and His Church, then why would he be inclined to "keep his pledge, come what may (Psalm 15:4-5)?"

I am not telling you for whom to vote. But you get what you ask for (I Samuel 8:10-18).

It's funny how...

...the same piece of data can sound the same but mean radically different things to two different people. As the paper records of Justice Blackmun are being examined, more of the interesting and disturbing character of the Supreme Court comes to light. Don't get me wrong. I am not one of these wackos who believe that the Court somehow is a shadow government. But I do recognize that Court from time to time misunderstands its role as arbiter of law and legal interpretation and becomes, or attempts to become, the legislative branch.

So, guess what? In 1992, the midst of the case of Casey v. Planned Parenthood (or is the other way around? You get the idea), Roe v. Wade was in serious jeopardy of being overturned. Notice the word I used. Jeopardy. See, that comes from listening to the world. When they see the overturn of Roe v. Wade, they see jeopardy, they see the end of someone's rights. For the Christian, the better word is probably possibility. Once the right to life, a right enshrined in the Constitution but not in the actions of the Supreme Court, is restored as inalienable, then the only thing is possibility.

But here is where my fur gets chapped. Who balked at the possibility of the overturn. Justice Kennedy, a putative Catholic!

It reminds me of the story told of Napoleon, I think it was. Napoleon turned to a captured cardinal and said, "I will destroy the Church!" The cardinal replied (to the effect), "If the bishops and the priests haven't succeeded, what makes you think you will?" I suppose we have to add the highly placed members of the Body as well.

Read more about it here.

More technological firsts
I'm blogging from a remote location! This monkey has taken his show on the road. After assisting with Confessions at another parish (where I am spending the night), I am still able to keep tabs on the home jungle! Very important for the beta male to do, you know, because the alpha male ragemonkey must never think he is without competition!

Reflection #3 is posted
As always, link here or on the right under "Monkey Like Spinoffs," choosing Lenten Reflections 2004.

Link Me? Link You!

My ego wouldn't let this go. I surfed the web via Google to find all the sites linked to us. And now, I am returning the favor. Here's a short list of new people:

Heart, Mind, Strength Weblog -- The Planet of the Apes
Come On, Get Lively -- The New Blogs
The 7 Habitus -- A New Blog
Oblique House
The Blog from the Core
Maine Catholic and Beyond
Pencil In Your Hand
Laudem Gloriae
The Edge of the Precipe -- Book Quiz, Got One of My Favs
Sancta Sanctis
Cnytr -- Iiiinteresting...

Only One Question

First, go over to Otto Da Fe (man, that's a clever name for a blog), then go come back here and answer this question: which clown is running for president?

"A Little Child shall lead them..."



Okay, fine, he's not that little. When I see things like this I am reminded of the concreteness of redemption and forgiveness. There is no such thing as abstract forgiveness. Once forgiveness is given and accepted by their respective parties, then healing and restoration begin.

This image of a once and future king working to help the continent that European foreign policy largely gang-raped by imposing national boundaries on people who lived by cultural and tribal boundaries reminds me at least that all of us have some responsibilites when it comes to old injuries. Was the little prince responsible for the bloodshed in Africa? No, but does that matter? No. After the blood shed some one has to hand out the bandages.

Sure it's a photo-op. But I made you think.

Will the Last One out get the lights?

Nuttiness abounds. I found this at Fr. Sibley's site and could not help but bring it here. It reminds me of a conversation in the seminary. A student raised his hand and asked, "Professor, if they were to find the Christ's earthly remains, what impact would that have?" The professor's color paled and without missing a beat said, "If the body were found? Last one out get the lights..."

The Passion is followed by the Resurrection and if the Second Coming has happened no one informed me. I guess I can go take a nap after all...

The Prosecution rests, Your Honor
In the blog immediately below, Fr. Tharp provides evidence that he is a nerd. Um, I don't think we need any more evidence of this other than what Fr. Tharp himself has written. "I wanted to show everyone that I am a polyvalent science fiction nerd," he blogged. Yeah, uh, the very use of the term in bold is proof enough, Father!

The Truth is Out There!

I wanted to show everyone that I am a polyvalent science fiction nerd. Okay, somewhere in the Gospel Jesus says that everything that is hidden will be revealed and everything revealed will be shouted from the rooftops. Well, kids, here comes the abortion industry's worse nightmare.

In a landmark decision, the sealed records of the Supreme Court are scheduled to be opened to the public. The Case? Roe V. Wade. This makes me giggle with glee. It is a major in road for pro-life politicians, are you listening Mr. Santorum, to undermine abortion through legal recourse. If the argument for life is not convincing to some, then take away the legal justification.

I better start warming up the Rachel's Vineyard team. It could be very interesting.

Test Run of the Litmus Test

Okay, so I am an uncharitible jerk! So sue me. I thought we could take our litmus test from theoretical to practical, like the good Thomist I am, except for the uncharitibleness of the project.

The Ranking will work as follows. Each of the positive qualities (#'s 1-5, 7, 9, 10) earns the site one point with a bonus point awarded for Eucharistic Adoration mentioned and 2 bonus points awarded if Perpetual Adoration mentioned. Each of the negative qualities (#'s 6, 8, 11) will deduct one point. I think it's fairer to reward positive work rather than punish the negative.

Okay, so I surveyed three of the dioceses featured on our blog links: Denver, Milwaukee, and Philadelphia. And here is how they stacked up. The score is listed in order of the litmus test.

Denver: .5 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 0 + 0 + 0 + 0 + 1 + 0 = 5.5 / 8
Milwaukee: 1 + 1 + 0 + 0 + 3 + 0 + 0 + 0 + 0 + 1 + 0 = 6 / 8
Philadelphia: 1 + 0 + 0 + 0 + 1 + 0 + 0 + 0 + 1 + 1 + 0 = 4 / 8
[Most importantly, none of these sites lost points. Granted this is a little abritrary, but if you don't like it, get your own blog.]

These are three of the better dioceses in the U.S., so they are going to be the gold standard for what the rest are like. This is also a lesson for anyone in the hierarchy who reads this blog. People use the internet for information and your website is a little window in your diocese. You might want to sink some more money into this evangelization possibility.

Now try it on your home diocese webpage...You can see where your local church stands.

When the cat is away...
...the mice will play. However, to use that analogy on the Church, it seems these days the cat is not only present, but standing over the mice and they are STILL playing! With that in mind, priests of our Archdiocese have been the recipients in recent days of a survey from a local group called HOPE. If you don't know of them, I can assure you they are not on a quest for the authentic virtue. Pretty much imagine whatever groups you know who have the same old, worn out agenda to bring change to the Church, and you have an image of this group.

Anyway, their survey is simple in its scope. They claim to support "open discussion of the celibacy rule". The survey asks whether the priest is in favor of such, not in favor, or undecided. It asks if the priest is retired or a member of a religious order. Then it asks for approximate age range of the respondent. Well, I sent my response in with the following letter to HOPE.

2 March 2004
HOPE
[Address omitted for this post]

Dear Members of HOPE,

I have received your survey regarding the discipline of clerical celibacy in the Roman rite. Though I do not appreciate seeming to validate your survey by my response, I am happy to have responded and to have this opportunity to address HOPE.

I am curious by whose authority it is that you have taken the initiative to conduct this survey? The Church is quite clear about the value of this discipline. In fact, there already is “open discussion” in the Church about clerical celibacy. It takes place in the approximately seven years of seminary formation before a man is ordained – a conversation that takes place between a seminarian and his spiritual director by the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

Since your survey reveals an interest on HOPE’s part to openly discuss this matter, I come to you with an offer. I would be happy to meet with your group to give you a priest’s perspective on the charism of celibacy and its value for the Church as a mandatory discipline. I am quite confident I could also manage to interest other priests to attend such a meeting. How interested is HOPE? I will await your prompt reply.

Sincerely in Christ,

Rev. Stephen V. Hamilton, S.T.L.
Associate Pastor

Cc: The Most Reverend Eusebius J. Beltran
Archbishop of Oklahoma City

We'll see just how interested in open discussion HOPE really is.

A face only a mother could love
Or, what's up with Satan and that grotesque baby thing in "The Passion?" Look under "The Marian theme" of my earlier blog on this subject. It would appear that Mel Gibson's own words back up my take on it. See this post of Amy Welborn's at Open Book.

Judging a Book By Its Cover

I had an interesting thought. Is it possible to evaluate the orthodoxy of a diocese by the contents of its website?

Here's the elements of the litmus test:
1. The Bishop's Attire
2. Any Links to Pro-Life Movement?
3. Religious Sisters Look like...well, Religious Sisters
4. Religious Education Section includes the Catechism, The Bible, and a review of religious education materials.
5. Mention of Popular Devotion in the Diocese: Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, in particular [Thanks, Tess].
6. Discussion of any ministry to homosexuals that is not Courage is a pretty reliable indicator of heterodoxy [Thanks, Zorak].
7. Links to Positive Ecclesial Movements e.g. Marriage Encounter, Cursillo, Regnum Christi, Communion and Liberation, etc.[Thanks, Alicia]
8. Links to Negative Ecclesial Movements e.g. VOTF and Dignity (funny, how their name came up twice) [Thanks again, Alicia].
9. Presence of good religious art on the site [Thanks Alicia]
10. Mention anywhere on the site of assenting and living the Creed, especially the Paschal Mystery. [Thank you, Dev]
11. Public acceptance of "alternative lifestyles" [Thank you, Cornelius and my parish named after you is very nice, btw].

Yes, I know it's superficial, but am I wrong? What else goes into the kettle?
I have added the following comments from the comments box to flesh out the litmus test. Thanks to everyone who contributed. I think the next step is to take this on a test run.

Theater as we know it is dead!

Well, I thought it was a bad sign when Footloose, Hairspray, and The Producers, to name a few, went from the silver screen to the great White Way.

But this is too much. Monty Python and the Holy Grail as a Musical? Are these people on drugs? The film is a cult classic, I will grant to the readership, but is there any hope that folks will go and see this?

Little Rock takes on Peter
Oh, folks! Thanks to Mom for passing this gem on to me. Yes, my mom has been pulled into the blogging now. Whahahahah! Linda Newkirk in Little Rock, AR, has been called to prophecy. By the way, the last time I visited Little Rock, it looks nothing like the mountain displayed on her website (no offense to my Arkansan friends).

This lady is busy! She has many writings and they have even been translated into other languages! Check the exciting and informative index of Book 1 for things you never knew about the Vatican and the Pope. Of the things to level against the Pope, this one caught my eye as particularly strange: "Yea, The Pope is working in darkness to bring communism back to new heights." We'll have to wait on George Weigel to tell us more about that one, I guess. And check here for updates on fulfilled prophecies!

And here is a brief highlight from the (very long!) message mailed to Mom's workplace today:
A MESSAGE TO THE CHURCHES IN THE USA
FROM JEHOVAH, MOST HIGH GOD
"Across America, churches are run by whores, who have arbitrated My word to please the masses! Across America, the churches are run by preachers, who have entered into a blasphemous covenant with a Luciferian government, the purpose of this covenant being to silence My pastors and to keep you in shackles. Yea, great numbers of you have willingly entered into a blasphemous agreement with a Luciferian government, and this covenant is the 501(C)3 tax agreement! ... Hidden concentration camps dot this land from North to South and from East to West and the Satanists, who run this government from the very top, cherish the day when these camps will be filled with Christians..."

I had no idea so much was at stake with the 501(C)3 tax agreement. And it's a 'covenant' no less!

NASA Breaking News
An exciting find by NASA's billion dollar toys on Mars: Evidence of liquid water has been found. And while no evidence of living organisms has surfaced, it means that Mars could once have been hospitable to life.

In related news, since Mars could once have supported life, and since we know how those Martians are, weapons inspectors are being sent to Mars to seek out Weapons of Mass Destruction!

When questioned about the hiding of WMDs on Mars, Saddam tore off a mask and said, "I'd have gotten away with it too, if it hadn't been for those pesky kids!"

This makes me so MAD!

As if I didn't have enough to worry about...

Isn't Ironic, Don't You Think...

Alanis Morrissette couldn't get this straight. Insects in wine are not ironic. This is.

Piping Hot and Fresh!



Mmmmm....new apologetics materials....



Check out the two new articles over at Apologize and Don't Be Sorry. One article deals with the nature of sin and the other is a work in progress concerning donatism and contraception. Any useful comments can be left here or send to the other email account.

(P.S. Sorry if the picture above is a near occasion for sin for some. Here in Alva, doughnuts are the domain of Wal-Mart.)

Stabat mater...
No, not that mother, but MY mother. Aaaahhhh. At this earlier post I discovered that Mom left a comment in the comment box. And points to you, Mom, for the correct use of the term "blog"!

Stabat mater studiosa
iuxta blogem fructuosam
dum scribebat filius!

Parsing TPOTC: Prominent themes
The following is adapted from an article I submitted to our diocesan paper. In place of a review, I offer it as a reflection on prominent themes or characteristics of "The Passion of the Christ." Onward to the parsing of themes...

The tender humanity of the story. Having heard both of the level and extent of physical violence, one could easily assume this is an excessive film based on a horrific faith in an almost demonic god who would demand such suffering to appease his wrath. Lost is the message of God’s love, one might fear. But the tender humanity found throughout the film speaks more of love than of involuntary mutilation. One could invoke the film’s portrayal of a reluctant, conflicted Pilate as evidence of this humanity. Certainly the exchange between Pilate and his wife, and his wife and Mary, highlights this tenderness. There is even Pilate’s assistant who rushes in to stop the scourging and later, on the way to Calvary, speaks shocking words to the barbarian foot soldiers driving Jesus: “Can’t you see he can’t go on? Help him.” Veronica’s act of love is a welcome reprieve from the brutal march to the crucifixion. And there is Cassius, bothered along the way by seeing the Galilean’s agonizing mother, who even appears respectful at the foot of the Cross lancing Jesus’ side in the presence of Mary.

Of course, it is the humanity of the Son of God made man that shines through most clearly. In a scene transporting viewers to the life in the home at Nazareth, we see Jesus working diligently on making a table and we catch some endearing moments between a mother and her son. In a very few masterful minutes, the movie shows Jesus laboring to complete an ordinary task, the playful love of family, and the authority of a mother over her child, even a child who is God (you’re not going inside wearing that filthy apron!). Mary’s presence mutes the brutality and brings comfort to the suffering Christ. Simon of Cyrene’s increasing sympathy for Jesus again reconnects viewers to the reality of Jesus’ human nature. The crossed arms of Jesus and Simon as they struggle with the Cross alert viewers to the climax of this tenderness: Simon reassures Jesus that “we are almost there” and he cries as he must depart Jesus’ side. Somehow, in the midst of horrid, cruel violence, a beautiful love and nobility is shown. Though he is the focal point of the brutality, nothing but the peace of calm resolve emanates from Jesus. Far from communicating the idea of a vengeful God, viewers see a Son determined to grasp fully the chalice that is his. What else could be gleaned from the pained crawls as Jesus, by force of will, drags himself toward the Cross, as if assisting the crucifixion?

The Holy Eucharist. This theme is established during the interrogation at the court of Caiaphas the high priest. When the chief priests and the whole council seek evidence against Jesus, one outraged witness lodges something akin to the following: “He claims to be the ‘Bread of Life’ and says that we must eat his flesh and drink his blood or we will not have eternal life!” Even a casual reader of the sixth chapter of St. John’s Gospel – the Bread of Life discourse – notices the pains John took to establish that this teaching brought about murmuring, arguing, outrage, and the defection of both Jews and even disciples alike. Though the gospels cannot confirm that this piece of evidence was offered against Jesus, it is entirely believable that such was the case. If any piece of evidence would expose Jesus for being a radical, surely this piece would rank high. Has the truth of the Holy Eucharist ever ceased being controversial?

With the stage thus set, the viewer experiences the very offering – the fraction – of the flesh and blood that must be consumed. White cloths in hand, Mary and Mary Magdalene are shown in an act of reverence, not unlike the use of purificators at Holy Mass, wiping up the saving blood of Jesus that has almost literally flooded the scourging arena. Reverence, too, characterizes Veronica’s few moments with Jesus and tradition’s report that she became the guardian of a miraculous image of his face. With an artist’s beautiful stroke, the exposing of Jesus’ body at his stripping is connected to the removal of a cloth at the Last Supper, which unveils the bread that will become Christ’s Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity in the Holy Eucharist. Back at Calvary, as the soldiers attempt to affix Jesus’ right hand to the Cross, his shoulder is purposefully dislocated, a vision that elicited gasps from all and, it can be imagined, brought to every priest-viewer’s mind the sound of the breaking of the Sacred Host. And finally, as familiar as the Holy Mass itself, the raising of the Cross is linked to Jesus’ very act of instituting the Holy Eucharist – raising the bread and the chalice of wine and transforming them into his very Body and Blood! This is my Body! The Body and Blood of the Lord exposed on the raised Cross, though different in appearance, is one and the same as the Holy Eucharist held aloft for our adoration and reception.

The Marian theme. This theme was beautifully woven into the story, crowning a feminine tapestry whose summit was the unforgettable living Pietà at the foot of the Cross. That Mary is referred to both as “Mary” and “Mother” – by all characters – cannot escape the Catholic filmgoer. Surely every viewer must have been touched deeply by the strength and the intimacy of the relationship of mother and son (played by Morgenstern and Caviezel). That this bond appeared so strong is no small accomplishment considering that, for the entire movie, Mary and the adult Jesus touch on only two brief occasions (at a fall and when she kisses his nailed feet). It is only after his death that Mary is able to embrace Jesus, no longer separated by the swiftly moving Romans and the crowds. The relationship between Jesus and Mary is shown to be mystical, something of a much higher realm, not requiring physical contact in order to be authentic. Juxtaposed to the unimaginable physical brutality displayed on the screen, it sounds ludicrous to suggest that it was the interaction between Jesus and Mary that was almost unbearable to view. However, emotional reactions seem to justify the claim.

Of all that could be said about this theme, the movie seemed to communicate clearly that Jesus was not only deeply comforted by his Mother’s presence, but even more, the sight of her strengthened his resolve to accept the cup of suffering in fulfillment of the Father’s will. What is the possible message here? Why did the sight of Mary seem to give Jesus such resolve? Because in looking at his Mother, Jesus was looking at the one who first said “yes,” “Amen,” to God’s will! The film seems to reveal the idea that the resolve to comply with God’s will was a lesson Mary herself imparted to Jesus! When he saw her, Jesus saw a comforting mother, yes, but also the dedicated handmaid of the Lord, the spouse of the Holy Spirit, the first disciple! Catholics rightly relate to Mary as a model of strength in discipleship, but the entirely likely possibility that she stood in such a role even for Jesus is a most astounding suggestion and an artistic triumph of “The Passion.”

Time and again, though separated by a crowd, Mary watches her Son and he looks to her. We catch their first glance in the movie outside of Caiaphas’ court; Mary arrives in haste just as Jesus is being drug before the council of chief priests. Though imprisoned after the council adjourns, Mary finds the spot on the floor just above where her Son is chained, and Jesus knows she is there. In one demonstration of the resolve Jesus draws from Mary, we see Jesus, having been flogged by canes, look to his dear Mother and slowly, painfully, stand back up with a dignity concealed by tormented flesh. Considering the comfort and resolve the sight of Mary brings to Jesus, is it any wonder that Satan would mock the mother-child relationship in that odd scene carrying a grotesque child before the eyes of the Lord? As Jesus leaves the praetorium, beginning his walk to Calvary, Mary follows his every step, moving through the crowd to remain parallel to Christ. Again, in defiant opposition, Satan, too, slithers through the crowd on Jesus’ other side. In a heart-wrenching display of this theme, Mary, remembering a boyhood fall of Jesus, runs to her Son as he falls with the Cross. She reassures him and tells him she is present and will not leave him. In that brief exchange, Jesus, with renewed energy and determination, picks himself up again, bearing the Cross and marching on. Finally, on Calvary, as an exhausted Jesus is slumped on the ground, he sees Mary on the edge of the crowd. She kneels down to be at eye level with him and eventually she is able to approach the foot of her Son’s Cross.

So many other themes and characteristics could be discussed. But these three seem most central. In addition, they are cause for us to celebrate that our Catholic imagination has been captured favorably on the big screen in a labor of faith and love.

Uh, oh! Send in the clowns?
Upon reading Fr. Tharp's post immediately below, I consulted a copy of the MPLD, the Manual of Psycho-Liturgical Disorders. That manual confirms that Fr. Tharp's fascination with Bozo is one of the first signs of an impending "Clown Liturgy"! Please, faithful readers, begin the novena now!

And, hey, if I can drive around in my cassock, Bozo can sure as heck manage a car in his outfit!

Fascinated by making a living

After the Rite of Election, my four candidates for full communion and their sponsors and friends all schleped down to Spaghetti Warehouse for a little dinner. When we arrived, I noticed that the management had hired a clown to entertain the kids. He was either a clown or someone with a terrible podiatrist. I could not keep my eyes off him. I kept scanning the room for his presence in the hopes that he might come over to the table. I don't know why that would be though. Normally, when I have to be funny "on command" I either freeze up or say something funny but remarkably scandalous.

Now I realize that no matter how much I want to be different on this point, this is just who I am. I don't take a joke well. I know what you are thinking. Fr. T is a witty fat guy. He could take a pie in the face with the best of them and think nothing of it. There's where you would be wrong. If anyone set me up to take a pie in the chops, I would outwardly laugh. I would inwardly plot your demise. And it would not be pleasant. Something involving muscle deadening poisons and chopping.

I guess I take myself too seriously much of the time. And there is that whole dignity of priesthood issue as well. I wouldn't want Tradition in Action to do a feature on me. If they will attack the Holy Father, what hope does a portly pastor in Alva, OK, have of avoiding an excoriating commentary?

Back to the story. As I sat there and as I returned to my little parish, thoughts and questions about this hard-working busker kept coming. Does he drive to work dressed that way? If so, what does he say to the cop who pulls him over? Does the cop have a hernia suppressing the urge to say, "Okay, buddy, no funny stuff!" Even better, if he stops at McDonald's, does he get a discount being related to the corporate sponsor and all?

More on this if I can find his name and website...

As promised, through the power of the WWW and my cable modem, I found him...I think. (405) 373-4742 Wilbur & Willy's Sidewalk Circus Clowns 4314 Northeast Ryan Drive, Piedmont, OK 73078. I was planning on being the founding pastor of the parish in Piedmont.

Rethinking a previous snotty comment...

Somewhere earlier, I posted a snarky commentary on the liberal clerical ideal of encountering the world and bringing the gospel to it. Specifically, I suggested that these people should go on reality TV. And then I thought some more about it, all that time in the Avalon gives you room to think, and it didn't seem quite as dumb. Think of all those chances to have a camera right in my face and tell the viewing audience in my most rage-free voice the Truths of the Catholic Faith. It's evil-licious. No wait, that's Zorak.

So survery time. Which reality TV show would you like to see me try out for and triumph on? I wonder if I can get the bishop to count this as a sabbatical.

In Tribute to our 2500th Visitor

For lots of you veteran bloggers, 2500 is a milestone passed long ago. But for us two novice monkeys (notice the subtle reference to religious life, darn I'm clever), it is shocking that people actually STOP by, often repeatedly. But de gustibus non disputandum est. Just keep it up.

In tribute to number 2500 and all you other people out there, I offer this little song for you with all proper apologies and acknowledgements to Diana King. Sing to the tune of "I'll Say a Little Prayer for You."

"In the morning I wake up/ my cable modem I crank up / then I write a little blog for you.
No shower, no grooming/ 'til my connection is zooming/ then I write a little blog for you.

CHORUS:
Forever and ever / we'll be on your hard drive / and we will amuse you.
Together, forever / We never allow the / heterodox point of view.
Forever and ever / that's how it must be / 'cause if you don't read
it'll only be heartbreak for me

woo, woo, woo

I run to do sick calls / And in the car, new topics appear/ I'll write another blog for you.
All through my prayer time / And all through my coffee break time / I'll plan another blog for you.

BRIDGE:
Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Bam / Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Bam / I'll write a little blog for you.
Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Bam / Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Bam / I'll link another blog for you

Please readers believe me / When I say "we really are needy" / I'll post a little blog for you.
Please return soon.

CHORUS

How Does One Say "Mucus" in Chinese?

Got this in my email today...Promising signs for China if it weren't for that oppressive government.

BOMA- USA wrote: From: "BOMA- USA"
To: "Natural Family Planning Discussion"
Subject: Update on Billings in China
Date: Mon, 01 Mar 2004 16:22:56 +0000

Thanks to a news flash via Father Joe Hattie, we have learned that
Drs. John and Lyn Billings released updated information on their
work in China at last week's Pontifical Academy meeting in Rome.

As of the end of 2003, there are 48,449 Billings Ovulation Method
teachers in China using the Chinese translation of the authentic
BOM materials.

To date the method has been regularly used by more than
3,645,600 fertile couples (yes, that's nearly FOUR MILLION couples!)
for avoiding pregnancy with an overall success rate around 99 percent.

In addition, there were 48,267 sub-fertile couples who used the
Billings Ovulation Method to achieve pregnancy. Of those couples,
15,640 babies have been born. The Chinese people affectionately
call these "The Billings Babies".

For those of you not familiar with this, the work of Drs. John and Lyn
Billings
in China began in 1995 when they trained the first group which was
comprised of 20 women doctors.

Sue Ek
BOMA-USA
www.boma-usa.org
www.woomb.org

You fill in the punch line...

In honor of Mr. Robert Blake's fourth attorney, a technique guaranteed for a time to forestall those pesky guilty verdicts, I thought I would let you write the joke.

"Man, he's been through more attorneys than..."

There you go, kids, have fun.

I have been wondering what would start the Persecution

And so it begins. Catholic Charities in California is going to be forced to provide birth control as part of its health coverage. Here's the story.

Here's my question. Why is this an issue? If you are working for Catholic Charities, you shouldn't be using birth control anyway right? So who brought this case up? If it was outside the organization, what business is it of theirs anyway?

Man, this really gets under my skin. Catholic Charities is a part of the religious structure of the Church. Therefore, where do the courts get off telling us what we have to accept? Just because the society at large has decided it's morally permissible to flush a generation or two down the toilet, the courts are out of line trying to make us go along with it. What's next? Abortion Coverage?

I would have made this a Ragemonkey Red Alert but I am impotent with and incoherent from raw anger. More on this later...

Pro-Tour Blogs versus Rank Amateurs

You can sit and read your own writing and think, "My, that's good." And then you go over to another blog and realize that, "No, that's really good."

To give you a sense of what brought that on, read a couple of entries here. Then check out the following places:

Mark Shea's blog -- Catholic and Enjoying It!
Mark Brumley's blog -- Brumley's Blog
Jimmy Akin's blog -- Defensor Fidei
Amy Wellborn's blog -- Open Book

These folks are pro-tour. I am just a rank amateur.

Parsing TPOTC: The Sacramental Imagination

Over the next few days and possibly weeks, Fr. H and I will be recording our comments and observations concerning "The Movie." I think I am going to take a more thematic approach and look at the movie from the sources that seem to inspire its creation. We hope you find these edifying.

As the context for these comments, I would like to open with a quote from the Catechism paragraph 1085: "In the liturgy of the Church, it is principally his own Paschal Mystery that Christ signifies and make present....The Paschal mystery of Christ, by contrast, cannot remain only in the past, because by his death he destroyed death, and all that Christ is--all that he did and suffered for all men--participates in the divine eternity, and so transcends all times while being made present in them all. The event of the Cross and Resurrection abides and draws everything toward life."

Mel Gibson's TPOTC is strongly informed by this understanding the mystery of the Cross. Because it is an event that stretches through the years, it follows that a.) the echoing of this event plays in the background of every human life both before and after its happening and b.) there must be a way to come to have access to this reality. Hence, when Gibson depicts the passion he has the sacramental economy in mind as this unique way that we have access to this mystery of the Passion.

Consider the scourging at the pillar. All in all, from my reading of Roman history and custom, this was accurately depicted. But what was interesting was the focus upon the torturers. Anyone else notice how they were being sprayed with the blood? In the savagery of their assault they were being sprinkled with the blood of the Lamb. Here we have an Old Testament allusion. I am not positive that Gibson intended this particular "sacramental" component but it was clearly there. You can also compared this to the piercing with the lance. The soldier is sprinkled, almost doused with the effluvia coming from the side of Christ. But more on that later.

Then there is the Crucifixion itself. Interspersed into the setting of the nails and the hammering were scenes of the Upper Room. And as the cross is being set into its place, the institution of the Eucharist takes place. The fact that commentators, Catholic and non-Catholic alike, have failed to mention this concerns me. From the Catholic side, it concerns me because it suggests that it so taken for granted that it slipped right past people. From the Protestant side, it confirms my fears that this movie would remain "untranslatable" for them. Because they have so blocked from their minds the reality of the Holy Eucharist they cannot see. They miss the forest for the trees.

Last, the water and blood flowing from the side of Christ has several layers of meaning. First, following the most ancient interpretations from the Church Fathers, this blood and water are the signs of the sacraments being given to the world. Second, these gifts are given to all. The effluvia from His side splashes on the Roman soldier, Cassius, as a sign of salvation for all. Third, it is the final act of giving that keeps on giving. The response is not repulsion as any of us might feel when sprayed with someone's blood. The soldier kneels. It is, as if, this open side were a new river of grace opened for the sake of all.

EWTN programming idea

Since Catholic hierarchy and so-called "Catholic" politicians have been in the news of late, why not take an ugly situation and make a fun game we all can enjoy? It works like this: We round up so-called "Catholic" politicians around the USA at all levels, national to local, and invite them to be on the Catholic version of "Weakest Link"! It would be tempting to have Madame Weakest Link do the honors, but I suggest Bishop Fabian Bruskewitz in full pontifical regalia (check out them buskins)! The only twist? All "contestants" would be told "You ARE the weakest link! Goodbye!" Or perhaps for a more ecclesial flare and as a slight variation of the dismissal at Holy Mass, the good bishop, one of his assisting deacons, or other suitable minister, could chant: "Ite, mendacium est!"

While we're at it.... Judge for yourself. Does Anne Robinson look anything like this chimp?

What the ?!!

I don't know who these reporters were talking to, but none of the interviewees are Catholic...

Study: Blogging Still Infrequent

sic
It's not Lenten reading, but it is reading in Lent. The John Jay Study and the study of the National Review Board regarding sexual abuse of minors by Catholic clerics in the United States have been released. Both reports are found on the site of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, along with press releases and other documents. Notice on that site, at least at the time of this posting, the one study is attributed to the "Natural Review Board." Sic. I wish I could hack into the USCCB site and edit by adding "Law" after "Natural"!

Out of order?

I must give credit for finding this to Bec's archives over at Pencil In Your Hand. It speaks to me of the utter lunacy that is the real terror alert scale. And in a travesty of justice, based solely on color (hhmmm), poor Elmo is associated with the Red Alert, while Oscar lurks at the bottom. I don't know about you, but based on this scale, I would be much less at ease on Oscar days! I mean what could possibly happen on an Elmo day? The terrorists would give us sinus congestion and tickle us silly?!

What About Spiritual Abuse?

I was thinking during Mass tonight about all those parishes where the bishop dumps his problematic priests. No, not the pedophiles or even the eccentrics. I am talking about the guys who are just barely still in communion with the Church. Much like the sex abuse scandal, there is a scandalous abuse cycle when heterodox priests are shuffled into parishes that are considered expendable. And the sex abuse scandal, it usually isn't one priest these people are subjected to. It continues as one heterodox priest is replaced by another until the parish is so damaged and so warped that when a reasonably orthodox priest shows up, his job is made a thousand times more difficult.

So where is the hand wringing over the spiritual rape of parishes? Who will remedy this matter?

Pray for our bishops. For the strong, for the weak, for the timid, for the clueless.

I'm already gone...

It all comes with the tab collar I guess. Tomorrow is a marathon in a very literal sense. I have two masses, then I hop in the Batmobile and streak off down the highway. Tomorrow is the Rite of Election which means down to the Cathedral. This wouldn't be a problem except that the Cathedral is TWO AND HALF HOURS from Alva. Then the one hour rite, a brief stop for dinner with my candidates, and then back into the car to return to Alva. I have a Mass on Monday mornings in Lent. You might say that the trip is unnecessary but it is. Trust me, it is.

Thankfully, I have one of these...


But I could use one of these...but I would have to change the voice template.

Point is, I won't be around so no posts from me...Keep the tree clean until I get back.

Which Historical Lunatic Are You?
From the fecund
loins of Rum and Monkey.

I am worried about anything coming from anybody's loins, but the website demanded to be featured here. Just to be clear I am a Catholic Ragemonkey...not a mad monkey.

Cause for concern?
Last night, returning from seeing "The Passion", my radio was on and the song "Imagine" began to play. As soon as I heard its introduction: "Imagine there's no heaven...", I switched stations, assuming it could, quite possibly, have been an evil influence considering what I had just seen. Then, this morning, as I unsheathed my Rosary, the Crucifix fell off.

Hhhmmm...should I be worried here?

If only my fiery chariot would arrive...

Which Old Testament Character are you?
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Some of these quizzes are rather uncanny in their accuracy.

My US travels


create your own personalized map of the USA
or write about it on the open travel guide
Neat to see a map of the states I have visited. Of course, I'd like to believe that I could carry this many states if I were a candidate for President of the United States!

Talk about damning someone with faint praise!

I just can't take some celebrities. The fact that Kevin Costner is the only one who comes to Mel's defense suggests something of the state of things in Tinseltown.

Read it here.

Humorous Aspects from The Passion of The Christ

I arrived at the theater about a half an hour early. I became confused as to the exact time of the showing. So as I stood in the cold, some amusing thoughts, they amused me at least, crossed my mind.

Would they show trailers for other movies before hand? They actually did. The theater in Alva showed the trailers for SpiderMan 2, Shrek 2, Madison (a new movie with Jim Caviezel [I guess his career isn't over yet], The Day After tomorrow (a very promising sci-fi disaster flick) and Home on the Range (an animated feature about adventurous cattle featuring the voice of Roseanne [No, it is not an E! True Hollywood Story of her life]). The last one seemed especially cruel given it was a Friday in Lent. Talk about temptation.

Now normally the studios tailor or target trailers and features to saturate the same audience. Looking at the five trailers, can anyone figure out to whom the studios were directing these particular films?

The other funny things was the line for concessions. In Alva, the only movie showing at 9:30 p.m. on Friday was The Passion. I couldn't figure out for the life of me why they were getting snacks. What did they think they were getting ready to watch?! The snacks were soon abandoned...pretty much from the moment the film started.

Answers to Round Two / Set-up for Round Three

Answers to Round Two:
A. Jean Calvin. Those who got the right answer recognized my club-footed description of Double Predestination.

B. Patripassionism. The key to recognizing patripassionism is the activity question. In modalism, the question revolves around person and not activity. The activity is of less importance because the same singular God is doing all of them and appearing to be the Son and Holy Spirit. In patripassionism, there is clearly a distinction between the persons of Father and the Son, affirmation that they both exist, but here what the Son does, the Father does. Fr. H's comment about being confused by the absence of sufficient description of the beer is a "red herring."

Round Three:

Okay, folks Name that Heresy! Description A. is a Protestant Reformer or founder of an ecclesial community. Description B. is a known condemned heresy.

A. A man walks into the bar and sits down. The waiter comes over to take his order. "I'll have steak fingers," the man says. The waiter replies, "We don't serve steak fingers here, consult the menu.' The man replies, "I have been given a better menu which explains everything about your menu." "Let me see it," the waiter responds. "uh, I can't...it is hidden." To break the situation, the "Okay would like a cup of coffee." The man says, "Decaf only. God says the other stuff is evil."

B. A man walks into the bar and orders a beer. He looks closely at the bartender. The bartender is dirty, his fingernails need to be clipped, and he can't quite get the beer in the glass. When the bartender sets the glass before the man, the man looks at him and says, "It is obvious to me that because of your terrible bartending skills that this is not really beer you set before me."

Have fun...Answers appearing next week and a reminder whenever this archives.

The Difference Between Dog People and Cat People

In our ongoing effort to divide the world into "us" and "them," I thought you'd like to see how cats and dogs spend their time when you are away.



Since pets reflect the attitude of the owner, or that's how the story goes, I think I might be a cat person despite my ferocious dander allergy. I think this fits my desire for perverse discomforting humor. All the priests know that cats can sense black clothing and come running to rub their shanks all over your fresh pressed slacks.

However when I say that I am a cat person, I am not referring to this and most certainly not to this.

The Film That Needs Culture To Be Understood

I got home from seeing the Passion of the Christ about ten minutes ago. I am at a loss for words. More correctly, words keep coming but they do not correctly express the effect of the movie. But two comments before bed...[Spoilers ahead]

1. It is a movie that a good ear assists. I took two years of Latin in high school and another semester in college. After that, my Latin studies were confined to choral music. A close listen to the dialogue allows you to pick up on subtle nuances in the action. Specifically, the exchange between Pilate and Christ in the praetorium and the use of the word "satis."

2. It is a movie that needs culture to be translated. The careful construction of each scene, each move, each element kept and each element discarded means that not only was there a vision at work -- there is a worldview as well. The name Caravaggio has been thrown around and with some cause. I was most moved by what certain scenes suggested, not what they "came right out and said." Think about the encounter in the alley.

A piece of trivia: The movie gave the name of the soldier who drove the lance into Christ's side as Cassius. Anyone know the traditional name given to this soldier?

More on the movie after Fr. H and I talk about it...process it as it were...

Is this a surprise?

Oh, for Pete's sake, don't act so shocked... You should have seen this one coming...


Which Old Testament Character are you?
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I am such a dork...

At the same time, I went to the local cable conglomerate and signed up for cable internet service. I was a wreck driving home. I was giddy, giggling and trying not to freak out or hit anyone.

It still has a couple of glitches but it's connected and much faster. Oooo, this means I can watch EWTN live from my computer...but only after Lent. Thought you'd catch me, didn't you? Ooo...sneaky reader...bad reader....trying to keep the Preeeecioussses away from me.

This of course means I have to change my picture. Which one do you think is more fitting:

A.) or B.)

I am such a stud...

On the "evangelize like a banshee" front, I got a phone call today. Someone stopped in the local drug store looking for a rosary. Go figure. Anyway, the drug store called me and I smelled possibilities. I said that I had an extra couple of rosaries here and to just send the person over to the rectory. Then the woman volunteered that she would talk to her distributor about getting some rosaries in. I offered to bring over a Catholic supply catalog that way they could order wherever they wanted whenever they wanted. The best part? I think the woman on the phone was part of a large family who had practiced the faith but had since fallen away. Hehehehehehehe! I love being a priest!

Lenten Reflection #2 is up
You may link to it from the title above. A link to the reflection site is also always accessible by going to the sidebar (on the right) and scrolling down to the heading "MONKEY LIKE SPINOFFS!", clicking on "Lenten Reflections 2004".

In addition, should you feel the need to comment on any given reflection, you can do so here on this blog on the post pertaining to the reflection you want to reference. I would be most interested in hearing from readers about any suggested changes to the reflection format. Are the reflections too long? Would it make it easier to only provide a link for the Scripture passage, relying on readers to read the verses I indicate? Or is providing the Scripture text within the reflection better? Would changing the days of reflection posting be better? Currently it is Wednesdays and Fridays -- perhaps moving the Wednesday one up, say to Tuesday, would space it out more nicely? Please let me know.

Let there be Movies!
I think I got the hang of the coding for movies and music...

Let's try movies...



Fr. B. had a much better day today...was off respirator help completely. Deo Gratias! Father was scheduled to be the keynote and main draw for the Wichita Family Life Conference this August. After the accident, I had told a few folks privately that this looked very doubtful to me. But perhaps I am wrong. This will be the great testimony of God's power and grace, his simple presence. Anything that he does say will be overshadowed by the fact that he is anywhere at all.

Music will have to wait...

What's wrong with this picture?

Readers of the Sunday Oklahoman newspaper were made to endure a front page spread, continuing on to two other whole pages!, on this Oklahoma City police officer. The story? She was (is?) a he! Yes, nothing else newsworthy in the whole world or Oklahoma, so we get three pages of this, complete with photos! Here she is when she was he. And now, years later still with receding hair line, here she is.

Now, I admit, any coverage of this "story" would have been too much in my opinion. But THREE pages?! Can anyone say, "forcing the issue"?

Hhhmmm, what's wrong here?
Global Church Ministries is proud to help you get ordained today. Oh, and they also offer high school diplomas. So, let me see. Conceivably, one could get a high school diploma and then follow it up with licensing and/or ordination for ministry. Does this sound like a good formation program? Is that even the point?

Media Bias: Fact of Life

My German grandmother used to say, "Call a spade a spade, dear," and then would mumble something in German under her breath. Only later that I found out what the other half is. The whole aphorism is "You must call a spade, a spade, and a spade is a shovel for manure," except use an earthier version of "manure."

Let's stop kidding ourselves. The media is biased, it will always be biased, and the sooner we accept that we can watch the news more consciously. Two brief examples of this.

1.) Andy Rooney opened his mouth, spoke for the Almighty in regards to Mel Gibson, and was left to dine upon a fine meal of shoe leather. No one has charged that Andy Rooney is suppressing Mel's free speech. He is permitted to publicly make fun of and deride the artistic expression of another with no penalty. However, if anyone of us raises a stink about urine-soaked crucifixes or plays where Jesus is portrayed as having an active homosexual relationship with one of the Twelve, then we are just backward cro-magnons. Lesson? If you are bashing Christianity, you are a champion of the arts and free speech. If you are endorsing Christianity, you are a troll and a throw back.

2.) For the last two days, the Daily Oklahoman, the daily that passes for a newspaper in central Oklahoma, has had two articles about Ash Wednesday. Commendable, right? Wrong! In neither article was a single Catholic priest featured or mentioned. There are 15 parishes, at least, in the metro area, and each of these places, on average, probably had 2 masses each. So the two Lutheran ecclesial communities are mentioned but the 30+ opportunities for Catholics to be featured are ignored. Heck, I would take a bare mention. After all it's our rite and they are co-opting it. (Interesting how Protestantism takes the parts of Catholic practice it wants and jettisons the rest. It's like a theological Luby's Cafeteria.)

It's rough waters ahead, kids.

BAM!
After 20 years a soul is reconciled to God and to His Church! Man, is Lent off to a good start. This is what priesthood is all about! Deo gratias!

Is Catholic Blogging A Sign of the New Spring Time of Evangelization?

I have noticed the overall excellent quality of all the Catholic Blogs. Could it be the case that the Holy Spirit is using modern technology to help evangelize the world? Look at the clues.

All of these blogs:
1.) Embrace Catholic Orthodoxy and Orthopraxy, especially in regards to the Sacred Liturgy and most centrally the Holy Mass. Gone are the aging goats who hailed the revision of the Church's teaching, wrongly assumed mandated by the Second Vatican Council. Gone too are the aging, wrinkly gargoyles who clamored from the rafters, "The Liturgy is about us realizing who we are. Draw your eyes down and look at your own loveliness." That line was used long ago by another more subtle serpent...but I digress. Rather these new blogs concentrate on the "going back to the sources" of Revelation and attempt to understand the big picture and the underlying logic of the teaching. From there, it is a short hop to people who are committed to the Faith they profess and equipped to explain, defend, and even develop the lines of inquiry.

2.) Embrace Catholic Culture and Piety.Another consistent factor is all of these sites are interested in practicing a public faith. No one subscribes to the notion that we need to knock on doors in order to share the Faith. Everyone agrees that if we let the cat out of the bag, the Faith does a darn fine job of converting others for us. Stare at Chartes for a long enough period of time and you will see the lines of the Creed cast in flying buttresses. We attempt to permit the realities the Faith professes to penetrate the inmost walls of our thoughts and actions. From within this garrison of the human person, the beautiful flowering (again with the hippie images) of Grace is manifested, demands to be expressed in our prayers and devotions, and attracts others to follow Christ.

3.) Embrace taking the Faith very seriously, ourselves less so...i.e. we have a good sense of humor. Catholics are not Puritans. I will admit there are times when I see smiling Jesus playing soccer that I want to retch. Humor and joy are very serious matters. (Interesting paradox!) Humor comes from the virtue of humility. Humor that is neither mean spirited nor cruel comes from the moments when the mud has splashed in our faces, because of our own folly, and we recognize our weakness. And then the grandness of our plans collapse and we laugh. When humor becomes cruel and unfeeling, then it ceases to be humor. It is merely a joke. Therefore when really funny things appear on our blogs, it is because there is a spirit of humility behind them.
Joy comes from the knowledge of being loved. If one knows that they are loved any cross can be joy without having a goofy grin on one's face.

4.) Embrace a Vibrant, Zealous Love for Christ and His Work. Lastly, none of the blogs' authors are waiting for someone else to do it for them. All of us recognize, proper to our station and vocation in life, the obligation to serve and spread the Gospel. So, the blogs written by priests often lament that the laity are often badly formed or just plain ignorant. That could be grousing and being smug. It could express the frustration of wanting to form others but not knowing how. Other blogs demonstrate the biting analysis the Public Square needs, if the others in the game don't succeed in marginalizing our position. This group is restless to the extreme!

So, my friends, Blog On! Give your very best for the sake of the Christ who suffered and died for us. Pour out your lives as He poured out His for us. For no greater love is there than to lay down our lives for our friends. And whether or not the world recognizes it, they are, or perhaps will become, our friends.

Lastly, has anyone heard of someone converted by or been converted by the influence of a Catholic Blog?

A Literary Inspiration for the Holy Fast

I encountered T.S. Eliot in high school and studied his writing in some detail in college. He was and remains a favorite poet whose words hint at the reality he saw but could scarce communicate.

Sadly, Mr. Eliot, while possessing the sensibilities of a Catholic, never entered into full communion with the Church he obviously understood.

Swing over to Otto-Da-Fe, a glorious funny site, and read Eliot's masterwork, "Ash Wednesday". If you can't sympathize with the crushing pain and the fledging glory the poet feels, I don't think you are practicing Lent correctly.

Approximately 24 Hours Remain...

to get in on round two of "Name That Heresy." The name of the game is identifying the theological error based on the description of the bar scene given.

Missed it? Nah...Check here. Then leave your answers in the comments box. The next round starts Saturday.

Mmmmm....Catholic-licious...

In an effort to "reward" those who link us, we have included a few more blogs and stops along the information highway worth, we think, your consideration. Scan the list and sample and few. We aren't going to tell you which ones are new...you have to figure that out...

From the Why Don't People Think files
Distributing Holy Communion in our little daily Mass chapel is always awkward. It quite clearly was never designed to be a chapel and so the faithful must perform gnostic movements to guarantee proper flow of "traffic" -- a flow that, by one improper step to the left or right, can be so tragically altered (ha!) that it sets off a falling domino-like chain reaction. And, so it didn't take much today for my observant eye to catch a movement out of the ordinary.

An older woman who has been ill the last few days, first in line to receive the Sacred Host today, hung behind in what I can only describe as a liturgical shuffle or line dance. After everyone had received the Sacred Host, she jumped behind the last person in the line for the Precious Blood. In the midst of being so considerate for the health of her fellow parishioners, I guess it never dawned on her that I was the one who would have to consume what remained after she had received.

The ashes are a blessing? Part two
I have appreciated the comments left on my original post. And I agree with their observations. They reinforce the need for me to carefully explain my point, which I failed to do. I was rather imprecise in my original post. I wasn't trying to deny that the ashes, which are blessed, are a sacramental or that they do impart the blessing of grace. What I had hoped to communicate, though, is that it seems to me the focus needs to be on a reminder of mortality, sinfulness, and penance. My original wording was a reaction, and perhaps a dose of isigesis!, to the full quote from Pastor Dawn regarding the significance of ashes, which reads "It's a laying on of hands, a blessing."

Certainly, blessing is an aspect of the practice. One comment noted the prayer of blessing of the ashes, which reveals that a blessing upon the persons present is being asked. That blessing, one of two options for the blessing of ashes found in the English translation of the Roman Missal, reads:
Lord, bless the sinner who asks for your forgiveness
and bless all those who receive these ashes.
May they keep this lenten season
in preparation for the joy of Easter.

This raises another issue for me; perhaps one about which I should blog separately. I really dislike a good portion of the blessings currently in use in the Roman Ritual. This is no comment on the validity of the above option for blessing. However, where in that prayer are the ASHES blessed? The current blessings in the ritual, so often seem to speak about everything and anything OTHER than the thing for which the blessing has been composed! It drives me crazy. I often opt to use blessings from older rituals (much more poetic, beautiful, and powerful, in my opinion). For Ash Wednesday, I always opt for the second option of ash blessing, which I find more agreeable:
Lord, bless these ashes
by which we show that we are dust.
Pardon our sins
and keep us faithful to the discipline of Lent,
for you do not want sinners to die,
but to live with the risen Christ,
who reigns with you for ever and ever.

By the way, for the second time now in as many days, our local paper has featured a Lutheran ecclesial community in explaining the practice of Ash Wednesday. Aaaarrrrrggggghhhhhh!

What is this all about?
I only glanced at this site but something tells me there is some hysterical stuff in there. I hope there is nothing morally objectionable (doctrinally is taken for granted!). The link will get you to the Home Page; be sure to click on the "Beliefs" page or link here. One of my favorites from that page is the following: "Salvation is a private decision."

My response: "Whose decision is it, my friends?"

"We're Like Frasier But Without All the Smuttiness..."

A little modification to the blog site. I have added direct links to Fr. H's and my new blogs. They are like Rage Suburbs but without all the ennui. Check the right hand side under "Monkey Like Spinoffs." Thanks to Rich, a new reader, for the inspiration for the title.

Apology Accepted!

I received the following email from the editor over at Crisis Magazine. (I edited it for brevity's sake.)
Hi Father Tharp,

First, let me apologize. And I mean, really friggin' apologize. I put your letter in our last promotional mailing because I saw it in the mailing before, and I'd assumed that you'd given permission at an earlier time. We would never knowingly use someone's letter for marketing purposes without getting their go-ahead (besides, I think it's illegal). So, somewhere along the line, we dropped the ball.

Brian Saint-Paul

Apparently someone forwarded my comments to the magazine editors, and Mr. Saint-Paul was gracious enough to reply. This is another reason why I like Crisis. It is obviously run by top-notch folks.

Apology accepted. And this month's issue has a really excellent article on the Second Vatican Council that qualifies as much read material. More on that later...

"[They] rise again from ashes..."
What an infernal song! I wanted to post my own observations regarding faithful coming out of the woodwork for Ash Wednesday. As any priest can tell you, people flock to church on Ash Wednesday. Many think it is a holy day of obligation; it is not. Let's see, we have certain days that are obligatory and you don't come; we have days that aren't and you do come. Aaaahhhh! I don't like it. I don't understand it. At my last parish on Ash Wednesday, as I pastorally shook hands while people left church, a husband and wife walked by, shook my hand, and said, "Welcome, Father! How long have YOU been here?" I responded, "Oh, eight months now!" They didn't say much more after that.

Last night, at one of my mission churches, the place was packed. There was well over two times the ordinary number of people in attendance and chairs were added all the way to the back wall. So, I figured I needed to strike while the iron was hot. I accomplished a rather smooth pastoral move, if I may say so myself. After the post Communion prayer, I had everyone sit down for announcements. Since the majority in attendance do not speak English well, I asked one of the more fluent Hispanic parishioners to come up, stand at the ambo microphone and translate my announcement (I can read Spanish well, but I don't speak it off the top of my head). But first, I had everyone close his eyes. I know it sounds goofy, but I had a delicate announcement to make and I didn't want people watching to see what group of people I might look toward and think I was brutally chastising people. I told everyone, "I am delighted to see so many people. We are happy to have everyone here. There is only one small, small problem [an understatement, I know]: the shepherd doesn't know some of his sheep and, I imagine, some of the sheep don't know the shepherd. We need to see you here on all Sundays and holy days of obligation. We need you here, not just because we're 'needy', but because you, and all of us, are members of the Body of Christ. When you are not here, we are missing some of our members, we are not whole. Please give us this delight and this joy by being with us more often, in other words: every Sunday and holy days of obligation." Then I had them open their eyes. It was brilliant. No one seemed offended. Quite the contrary, everyone seemed pleased and happy. And those who do regularly attend were so excited that something had been said, in the hopes that we can more frequently pack our little church.

Something about yesterday's Masses also made me reflect upon the catholicity of the Church. Unfortunately (as regards faith practice) and fortunately, you see a larger cross section of humanity on Ash Wednesday. So many new faces and everyone can come up and receive the ashes. It is really a blessing to see it. Of course, I still come back to the rectory afterwards, mumbling under my breath about our anonymous parishioners. But it is a neat day. It is much like the first reading we all heard from the Prophet Joel: "...call an assembly; gather the people, notify the congregation; assemble the elders, gather the children and the infants at the breast;...let the priests...say, 'Spare, O Lord, your people." Obviously the congregation had been notified and young and old, infants, elders, the employed and retired, students and parents, doctors, plumbers, electricians, lawyers, social workers, professors, housewives, nurses, construction workers, homeschool mothers, even an animal control officer had all come together. If only society's leaven would rise up more often! If only society's light would come out from under its basket more regularly! If only society's salt wouldn't lose its flavor so soon. What a great day it is, Ash Wednesday! And it all begins a season of fasting and penance. How could we have gloomy faces like the hypocrites? So, here's to the homeschool moms, the doctors, plumbers, and even the guy who gases our puppies and kittens! Hopefully, we'll see each other again real soon.

New plan for Lenten Reflections
Soon after the posting of Lenten Reflection #1, Fr. Tharp and I realized we needed to adjust our plan. So, I have started my own blog where I will post my promised reflections on Wednesdays and Fridays of Lent. Now, we know what you are thinking. I have only been blogging here for one week. In that time, Fr. Tharp has begun his own blog, Apologize and Don't Be Sorry!, and now I have begun my own. You may be tempted to think secularly, smelling blood in the water, as when a member of some musical group goes solo. The egos were bound to collide sooner or later like wreckless, defiant freight trains. We knew it couldn't last long. There's a break-up in the air, you might think, somewhat like these guys.

We assure you nothing like that is happening. We realized that with the frequency of our posting, the Lenten reflections could get lost easily. Also, we enjoy quite a bit of humor, and we feared other posts on this blog might interfere with a reflective mindset. I mean lets face it. You could easily find a day's reflection posted between a photo of a gorilla and Kermit the Frog! We realized we needed a separate place where readers could enjoy the spiritual matters, free from distraction. The link to any given day's reflection will still be provided on this blog.

Consider it much like the architecture of a church. We regularly set aside things having to do with the spiritual. The sanctuary is set off from the nave of a church. So, consider this blog to be the nave of the church. Consider the link to my new blog like the Communion rail. And consider my new blog to be the sanctuary where you can hopefully profit from the reflections easily and without distraction.

We're bigger than our blog gives us credit for
Well, not really. We have surpassed the 1,000 hits mark. We are in a new millenium of this blog now. And we are simply egowhelmed, uh, we mean, uh, overwhelmed, overwhelmed at the response to our young blog. And all of this during Lent when not a few people limit internet time. In honor of this blog milestone we would like to offer our visitors a gift that calls to mind the monkeyness of this blog. Oh, and it's also a mind control device.

This is a new one to me...

I had a strange phone call tonight. A young lady called and asked if there was going to be Midnight Mass. I was most confused by this.

Has anyone else heard of the practice of Midnight Ash Wednesday Mass? Would there be any justification to have one?

C.A.P.E. Catholics

No, this is not another lame comic book-related post. It is just a bitter, low-key, screed. If you are not in the mood for one of my screeds, read it later.

Ever notice how many extra folks there are at Ash Wednesday Masses? It can become a literal throng of humanity. But then the first Sunday of Lent rolls around and -poof- the extra folks are gone. Granted, some of these folks might have gone back to their proper parish, but I doubt that all of them are "visitors."

In the seminary, we devised a name for these Catholics. We called them "C.A.P.E. Catholics." C.A.P.E. stands for "Christmas, Ash Wednesday, Palm Sunday, and Easter." But none of us could figure out why people came to these four Masses and none other. And then an astute friend who has gone on to ordination said, "These are all the times you get something." He hit it on the head: Christmas is presents, Ashes the magical forgiveness totem, Palm Sunday a piece of braidable grass and Easter hollow chocolate bunnies.

Now I know some of you are rolling your eyes at this. Some young punk priest isn't satisfied with people coming to Mass. "They're trying the best," you will say. I say, "Nuts!" to that. The minimum is not where we are asked to aim. Be perfect as Your Father in Heaven is perfect is the goal Christ gives us. Furthermore, if they can make time to make Mass on these other days, what is so all-fired important that they can't slip away FOR ONE HOUR?! [I, of course, am not thinking of those who have jobs in the military, police, medicine, etc. where they have to be away.]

The key I suspect lies with conversion. As a convert, I swiftly recognized my attendance at worship was an obligation born out of love and being responsive to love. If He can give all, and I am a member of His Body, then His Grace makes it possible.

I'll Keep My Proteins, Thank You Very Much

Just when you thought that CRM was just a site for fun and faith information, check this out. We can be good for you, too.

Who is oldest now?
Read here where the oldest man in the United States has died.

This Just In: It isn't just anti-Semitic, it's bad for your Heart.

I copied this text directly from the "front page" of the Drudge Report. I expect there will be a link soon. Not only with the Anti-Defamation League be out against the movie, so will the American Heart Association.

"**Exclusive** KAKE TV in Wichita, Kansas set report to a woman, in her 50s, suffered a heart attack during a morning screening of Mel Gibson's controversial film PASSION OF THE CHRIST. "She later died at the hospital," a station source tells the DRUDGE REPORT. The report is scheduled to be lead story on the station's 5 PM news. "She went into seizure during one of the film's most dramatic moments," a station source explains. The woman attened a 9:30am screening at Warren East Theaters in Wichita... Developing...

HEART ATTACK DURING 'PASSION OF CHRIST'; WOMAN PRONOUNCED DEAD AFTER VIEWING FILM IN KANSAS"

The Ebert Review

Roger Ebert, the source for all my opinions on all things movie-related, has placed his review on the web. See it here.

The review is largely positive. I am interested though in his reaction as, I assume from his comments, a fallen-away Catholic. It sounds like the movie crawled under his skin and hasn't let go yet.

So, let's do an informal survey. Brother priests, did your weekend or Ash Wednesday Mass attendance go up? Fellow Christians, did Mass seem more reverent or better attended?

Ragemonkey Red Alert 2: Living in the Age of Disposable People
I was listening to NPR (don't hate me if I like more commentary on the news than the 10-second blown-dry Barbie heads provide) and on "Fresh Air" which comes from one of my favorite cities, Philly, the hour was dedicated to a story that had run in the New York Times Magazine. The story was about sex slavery in the U.S. Apparently young girls and boys from around the world, but mostly for Latin America, are being run into the country for the use in sex trade. It was very sad and very disturbing. Yet another place where we need to secure justice for the less fortunate.

Then on the Drudge Report, there was another article about slavery, but this time is was wage slavery. The article dealt at length with how immigrants, again mostly from south of the Border, were treated as wage slaves, earning well below what is needed to live.

Apart from the slavery angle, these two stories carry a common thread. They both have to do with disposable persons. Think for a moment about that coffee mug that practically flies into your hand each morning. At the end of that delicious cup of java, does it ever, EVER cross your mind to discard the cup. No? Why? Because the cup has value to you. It evokes a pleasant memory, you love the Far Side cartoon on the exterior, whatever. But if the value disappears, say the handle breaks off, guess where that cup is headed. Right into the garbage.

Human persons should be worth more to us than cheap labor or as a fully interactive sex toy. They are created in the image and likeness of God. Because they can fulfill some intermediary good, a good which more valuable than the one providing it, they are as disposable as a Dixie cup.

Reflection #1: Ash Wednesday
+
JMJ

Verse: Our help is in the name of the Lord / Adiutorium nostrum in nomine Domini
Response: Who made heaven and earth / Qui fecit caelum et terram.

Scripture: Isaiah 58:1-7
Cry out full-throated and unsparingly, lift up your voice like a trumpet blast; Tell my people their wickedness, and the house of Jacob their sins.
They seek me day after day, and desire to know my ways, Like a nation that has done what is just and not abandoned the law of their God; They ask me to declare what is due them, pleased to gain access to God.
"Why do we fast, and you do not see it? afflict ourselves, and you take no note of it?" Lo, on your fast day you carry out your own pursuits, and drive all your laborers.
Yes, your fast ends in quarreling and fighting, striking with wicked claw. Would that today you might fast so as to make your voice heard on high!
Is this the manner of fasting I wish, of keeping a day of penance: That a man bow his head like a reed, and lie in sackcloth and ashes? Do you call this a fast, a day acceptable to the LORD?
This, rather, is the fasting that I wish: releasing those bound unjustly, untying the thongs of the yoke; Setting free the oppressed, breaking every yoke;
Sharing your bread with the hungry, sheltering the oppressed and the homeless; Clothing the naked when you see them, and not turning your back on your own.

Reflection:
Almost the first words we hear in the Holy Season of Lent are the traditional formula for the distribution of ashes: “Remember, man, you are dust, and unto dust you shall return.” These words come from Genesis 3:19. And synonymous with ‘genesis’ is the idea of creation. In a brief quote from Scripture, packed with theology and anthropology, Holy Mother Church reminds us of our creation – that we are creatures and nothing more. We are part of a hierarchy of being; and we are not at its summit! God is Supreme Being; God is Creator. We are His creatures. Furthermore, by calling creation to mind with the distribution of ashes, another message is loud and clear – just as obvious as the smudge on the forehead: We are in need of re-creation! For, you see, those words from Genesis are also closely linked to man’s exile from the garden of Eden and, thus, separation from the way leading to the Tree of Life (cf. Gn. 3:24).

Isaiah speaks of crying out. Most of us cry out when we are born. And soon after, we begin crying out for the things we want, the things that fill us up, the desires that never seem satisfied. And let’s not kid ourselves! We are just as much babies now, crying out for the things of this world. Look around. Hear all the clamor round about you. There is the roar of sirens carrying the message that someone is in trouble, perhaps at another’s hand. The noise of the TV is always in the background and obviously notched up when commercials air. The false zeal of quick tempers screams when we don’t get our way. It is all the cacophony of sin. It must appear, in some ways, from the realms of heaven, as a sad “stock exchange” of humanity.

But God sees more. And through the prophet Isaiah’s crying out, we are told to seek repentance, forgiveness, and authenticity. By our Lenten disciplines we seek to empty our greedy hands and greedy hearts from the things with which we become so easily obsessed. Why? Not to remain empty; but to be able to grasp the hand of the Lord more firmly, to be able to love the Lord more fully. And to more fully receive His love! Isaiah, and the readings of today’s Holy Mass, reminds us of the goal of our disciplines. The ashes we wear and the disciplines we take up are not for show, but should lead us to the life God desires: to be re-created by His grace and to bear that life to the world, to the imprisoned, to the burdened and oppressed, to the hungry, to the homeless, to the naked, brothers and sisters all (cf. reading above)! And one day this will lead us to THE Angel of God, His Son, Who will not block our entry to the garden, but will usher us to the good things of the Tree of Life!

Responsory:
V. You are dust, and unto dust you shall return.
Spare, O Lord, spare your people; and do not be angry with us forever.
V. You are dust, and unto dust you shall return.
Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, so we too might walk in newness of life.
V. You are dust, and unto dust you shall return.

Our Father.
Hail Mary.
Glory be.

Blessing:
May the Lord bless us, protect us from all evil and bring us to everlasting life. Amen. / Dominus nos benedicat, et ab omni malo defendat, et ad vitam perducat aeternam. Amen.

Anonymous Christians?

I've got a little question for everyone. As you know, I have a column to which people can submit questions. I kid you not, but every single submission in the last week has asked not to have their name and home city used?

What's up with that? Any thoughts?

The ashes are a blessing?
I don't think that's what's going on when the Catholic Church distributes ashes on this day. Rather, it is a powerful reminder in sensible sign of precisely what is uttered at the distribution: "Remember, man, you are dust, and to dust you shall return." But I just finished reading a local newspaper article on Ash Wednesday that featured Pastor Dawn and her Lord of Life Lutheran Church. With all due respect to the members of other Christian communities, it is an injustice and, it seems to me, sloppy journalism that the article didn't feature a Catholic church. But I digress. Apparently, at Lord of Life, the ash distribution is a blessing. So says Pastor Dawn. I guess outside of the visible confines of the sheepfold, it can take on whatever meaning one wants.

Our influence on culture
I'm always reminded at this time of year just how much of an influence Catholicism has on our culture, even that of the present day United States. It never fails. Always around this time of year, McDonald's ads pick a rather unlikely menu item to advertise: the McFish Fillet Sandwich, or whatever they call it. I remember at my last parish that Long John Silver's suddenly mailed the parish a flyer announcing family meal deals. Last year I saw Chile's even had little table placards that advertised their "Lent Menu". I kid you not. I couldn't believe they actually used the word. Examples abound. The wider society may not understand us and so much of the year is a reminder of how disgusted we are by their trite treatment of faith, Christianity, and the Catholic Church in particular. But today, simply smile that our Church does have an enormous impact on the culture around us. And the next time you hear a McDonald's commercial, say, "Yes, indeed, I am lovin' it!"

A St. Blog's Parish First?
As a novice here I'm not sure if anyone has done this before. But I want to try something. How about a blogosphere Lenten spiritual conference series? Or would that be called a spiritual e-conference? Here is my plan. On Wednesdays and Fridays of Lent I will post a short spiritual reflection for anyone who cares to read and take a few moments for the soul. I will plan to have each reflection posted by the Mercy hour on those respective days. In other words, check here around 3 p.m. Central Standard Time on Wednesdays and Fridays of Lent (and Good Friday) for a spiritual reflection. I hope it will be worthwhile for our readers. First post will be up later today by 3:00 p.m. (CST). Let us pray for one another!

Wichita Orphaned: Day 93
We are on the 93rd day of Wichita's orphan status as a sede vacante (no, not the pejorative meaning). As of my check of the Vatican website daily news bulletin this morning, Fr. Tharp has still not been named Bishop of Wichita! But don't put your home up there on the market yet, Father, we will continue to monitor the situation.

(Hey, I am the youngest priest of the Archdiocese. Can't I ACT like a little brother!)

Alternate Universe
How is it possible we have seen the same film? Check out this wacky review of "The Passion".

Absit Omen!

When people would sneeze in ancient Rome, the above phrase was invoked to drive away the sign of illness, meaning usually an outbreak of plague. (Lit. Let the sign of illness be absent.)

Lent has its own omens of ill fortune as well. I set my alarm clock last night in the hope of saying part of the Divine Office before my Ash Wednesday Mass at 7:00 a.m. When the radio alarm started ringing and playing music, I looked at the clock. It read "6:30." That's when the fuzzzzzy thinking started. "Wait, that's not right...if it's 6:30, OH, NO..." I leapt out of bed, a sight to behold, skipped shower and tooth brushing (yes, the distribution of ashes was extra penitential this morning), and booked it over for Mass. Of course, everything went off fine.

Here's hoping that your Lent is already better than mine has been. I'm off for a shower.

Ragemonkey Red Alert 1:
The Consequences of Free Love or That Burning Sensation is not Passion


If there is anything that gets me really going it is inconsistent logic. So, let me get this straight, modern media. If you talk to kids about smoking, drugs, drinking, staying in school, or internet music piracy, they will probably choose to not do the bad things or do the right thing when the time comes. But the instant you suspect your darling cherub might be sexually active then its time to outfit them with condoms, birth control, and whatever else passes as necessary "for safe sex." Funny, I didn't think sex was so dangerous I had to be protected from it. The message is clear. You can stop smoking but if little Jimmy doesn't get "to shake his moneymaker," then he will be an incomplete person.

Well, folks, here's where that logic leads. Right to the free clinic. Check out this link. Is anyone surprised? If you play with nuclear waste, you get radiation poisoning. If you are promiscuous, then you are GOING to catch a charming STD. And that is a gift that keeps on giving.

Accountability

When I heard about Fr. H's way of helping the kids observe Lent, I thought that might be a good way for regular readers of the blog. Now, this won't have a cute punishment stunt attached because one, we can prove whether or not we succeeded and two, I think we are all grown-ups here. I suggest that part of our works for Lent is to make a commitment to support each other in our good resolutions and commitments.

So, without violating anyone's conscience, what are you giving up for Lent? I am giving up TV [mind-fast], making a Holy Hour before the Blessed Sacrament [body-prayer], and making acts of forgiveness to specific people [spirit-give alms]. I also have made the minor resolutions of improving how I celebrate the Divine Office [mind-prayer] and read two spiritual books [mind-give alms]. If you don't understand the stuff in the brackets, please see my earlier post (Making the Most of the Holy Fast, Mon Feb 23, 06:06:14 PM )

Sundays in Lent: Yes or No?
Having just completed making my batch of Cream of Mushroom Soup (for tomorrow), finishing off my last turtle chocolate candy, and heating up the iron to rid a few wrinkles from my nobly simple Lenten violet chasuble, I want to respond to a question I hear every year. My mother brought the question from her parish prayer group: Regarding Lenten practices/sacrifices/observances, do Sundays "count"? Are we supposed to observe our Lenten practices on Sundays too or can we take those as a break?

First, how is Lent computed? The Holy Season of Lent runs from Ash Wednesday until the Mass of the Lord's Supper exclusive on Holy Thursday. Though Sundays during Lent are certainly Sundays of the season, the official count of 40 is had by counting from Ash Wednesday to Easter, but excluding Sundays. Thus, comes the question: Do we still do our Lenten things on Sundays?

To my knowledge, the Church has never officially spoken on this. The contrary notwithstanding, then, I offer that I can see the plausibility of both positions, yes and no. Let's look at each position.

Yes. Sundays are still in the season and many people don't want to skimp. This position views the Lenten observances, specifically the sacrifices, as the total deprivation of some good for a spiritual purpose, a deprivation that is not to cease until the day of the Lord's Resurrection is celebrated. That is justifiable and laudable.

No. This position bases itself on two factors. (1) The traditional 40 day count is had by excluding the Sundays; and, (2) A liturgical consideration. All Sundays throughout the Liturgical Year are considered "little Easters", the Lord's Day on which his Resurrection is commemorated. Therefore, it is a day of celebration, not penance. So, this position holds, Sundays may be observed as little breaks during our Lenten practices, free days as it were. Some even add here the two solemnities that fall in Lent (March 19 & 25), because likewise solemnities are liturgical feasts, thus not days of penance. In this scenario there would be 8 "free days" in Lent.

Both positions seem fine to me. I will admit, having more of a liturgical spirituality, I love living my days according to the liturgical calendar, marking Sundays and solemnities as days of special joy and feasting. Thus, for myself, I would tend to lean toward the position that, if one chooses, he may observe Sundays and the two solemnities as free days. However, it would be contrary to the spirit of Lent to go "hog wild" on the free days. Enjoy a little of what has been given up if you wish, but with restraint.

Again, it is important to remember that the Church has not spoken on this. What has been legislated for the universal Church is that Ash Wednesday is a day of Fast and Abstinence. In addition, all Fridays in Lent are days of Abstinence. Good Friday (technically outside of the Lenten season) is also universally legislated as a day of Fast and Abstinence. After that, the answer to the question of this post is left to each individual to discern. I would suggest arriving at your own answer by asking, "What is the sign of my love for the Lord this Lent?" Is that sign something you best express by scenario one or by scenario two? And there is your answer.

And let's remember right now, by the way, ALL Fridays throughout the year are supposed to be observed as days of penance. Outside of Lent (the Church officially establishes the penance for Fridays of Lent) the faithful are asked to choose their own penance. Perhaps it is the customary abstaining from meat. Perhaps it is some form of fasting. Perhaps it is some special observance added to one's routine like a visit to the church or chapel or some work of mercy. The important thing is that Fridays not be forgotten because of that one Friday in human history when mankind's freedom from sin was purchased.

Canonical Status
There has been a great deal made of Mel Gibson's attachment to the Tridentine Rite of the Holy Mass. Not a problem. However, some have claimed that he attends Holy Mass offered by a schismatic priest of the Society of St. Pius X. I have also heard that Mel may have built "his own" chapel where the Holy Mass in the Tridentine Rite is offered. All of this raises questions about Mel's canonical status or ecclesial relationship to a bishop in communion with Rome and, indeed, to Rome itself. Does anyone know -- beyond conjecture (in other words, more definitively) -- what Mel's canonical status is? Is he in schism?

In addition to the above information, I also have a bit of added information through my pastor. My pastor attended seminary in California and a good priest friend of his from there (the grandson of John Wayne -- that's a different story) has come to know Jim Caviezel, who portrays Jesus in Mel's movie. In fact, this priest has become almost a sort of spiritual director to Caviezel. Through that connection my pastor joined a group to Medjugore that included his priest friend and Caviezel. In a brief conversation between my pastor and Caviezel, my pastor asked Jim about Mel, "And Mel? He loves the Pope?" My pastor reports that Caviezel responded a bit sheepishly with, "Pray for him [Mel]." That would seem to support the suspicion of being in schism. However, not even that is definitive proof.

Does anyone out there know what Mel's canonical status is? Let us know. And, please, please don't equate this post with the silliness of trying to get people to stay away from the movie. That is not the intention whatsoever.

Chief Monkey New Blog!

Chief Monkey New Blog! Chief Monkey Gone! Hoo, hoo. Woo, hoo, hoo. Woo, hoo! Woo, hoo! EEEEEE!! We, EEEEEEEE!

Apologize and Don't Be Sorry!

I have added a new blog to my life. One just wasn't enough.

Truth be told, since our diocesan newspaper doesn't carry an on-line edition of the paper, I wanted to give access to back articles of mine without cluttering the Ragemonkey site. Initially there will be a lot of activity, but as I run out of back material the level should drop back quite a bit.

So check out the new site: Apologize and Don't Be Sorry!

Wanna See It? Gotta See It!

So I took a little Fat Tuesday surf on the TV to get geared up for Lent. Yes, I am giving up TV for Lent. And of course, all over the news is hostility to The Passion of the Christ. One New York City newspaper reporter (I don't remember which paper) said that it was the most anti-Semitic film since the days of WW II. I love a good hyperbole, but let's not be ridiculous. After all, I doubt that at any time the Jewish people are compared to disease-ridden rats in Mel's movie.

This is a call to arms. To my fellow clerics you have got to get out and see this movie. It is a logical extension of our teaching office. If there is anything off about the picture, and I am not saying there, I haven't seen it yet, we need to have seen it so that we can comment intelligently to it. If there is nothing wrong with it, then it simply becomes fodder for homilies and instructions. To the lay faithful, you have got to go see it. Your non-Catholic fellow employees and friends will be shocked out of their minds potentially by the fact it was made by a Catholic. Also, you will have to be the universal translator for the Catholic sensibility of the movie.

Getting a Media Friendly Face Out There

I was thinking...dangerous I know. There are those of a more liberal stripe amongst the clergy who would suggest engagement with the world on the world's terms. I would agree...to a point. I think we have to engage the world, but on the terms of the Gospel. Learning how to speak the lingo of the world is useful but if and only if we are engaged with bringing the Gospel to the world. When the Gospel is received it will require change on the part of the World. If we engage on the world's terms, the Gospel is inevitably the one changed.

So, why aren't these priests and bishops putting their monies where their mouths are?
Might I suggest going on...



Whoever outlasts the others gets to be a Cardinal!

Or if the great outdoors is not their things, a priest could try out for...



Although this really more closely resembles the seminary...

Hamilton's Book Quiz Results

You're Brave New World!

by Aldous Huxley

With an uncanny ability for predicting the future, you are a true
psychic. You can see how the world will change and illuminate the fears of future
generations. In the world to come, you see the influence of the media, genetic
science, drugs, and class warfare. And while all this might make you happy, you
claim the right to be unhappy. While pregnancy might seem painful, test tube
babies scare you most. You are obsessed with the word "pneumatic".


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

I think this is the first time I have been accused of being "obsessed with the word 'pneumatic'." I was indeed concerned about it a few weeks ago when I was having the wheel bearing hub unit replaced on my car. You see, using a pneumatic wrench to make the repair can actually damage the part and so you must opt for the impact wrench instead... Sorry! Obsessing again!

Where do we go from here?

As many of you know, the comprehensive John Jay Study concerning clergy sex abuse will be out at the end of the month. I assume that means next week sometime. And already the confusion and distortion abounds. Check out this article from the Associated Press. Contrast what the article says and the quote from Ratzinger.
AP reporter - "That would mean roughly 4 percent had been accused of abuse, although not all the claims are likely to be deemed credible in the final report, due out next Friday."
Ratzinger - "Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, head of the Vatican (news - web sites)'s Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, told Catholic News Service in December 2002, that 'less than 1 percent of priests are guilty of acts of this type.'"

See the problem. They are talking about two different things. The AP reporter is talking about accusations and his eminence is referring to guilt. But placing the two pieces side by side makes it sound as though the Cardinal is hopelessly in the dark. Or hinting that he might be hiding something.

Thankfully the AP has noted that this is not exclusively a Catholic Issue. Protestant churches frequently run across this issue as well. For example, in Oklahoma City, the same day revelations were coming out of Boston, a Methodist youth minister and a rabbi were both arrested on abuse complaints. Abuse can happen whenever there is power imbalance in the relationship.

More infruriating to me is the use of this by folks to push their agendas. When I say that, many of you are thinking of groups like Voice of the Faithful or We Are Church. But there are groups who are minimally in union with Rome, usually over the reforms of the Second Vatican Council, who are milking this for all its worth. One of these groups is called Roman Catholic Faithful. I recently received their newsletter which leveled lots of accusation without too much subsequent proof. Also, they wanted to make sure they bypassed me, the pastor, when they mailed the newsletter. It was in a plain white envelope addressed to the secretary. Without my dutiful assistant, I would have missed it completely. It was interesting to read in their mission statement that part of this scandal was that priests were not permitted to say the Traditional Tridentine Mass without permission. Of course, I am not permitted to celebrate the Tridentine Mass without permission just as I cannot celebrate the Sarum nor the Anglo-Catholic rites without permission. Membership in a ritual church means following the ritual that is normative for your rite. Then if necessary other rites may be celebrated assuming there is a proper just cause. I don't hear Byzantine Catholic communities clamoring for the older edition of their rite, do you?

You can check out their website but I don't recommend it. I don't think that they are being just; they like Voice of the Faithful want to recast the Church in their ideal image and likeness.

Fr. Johansen over at Thrown Back has a thoughtful post up concerning the sources of the problem. Pop over and take a read. I want to know, where do we go from here? What steps must we be willing to take not just to ensure this doesn't happen again but also address underlying root causes which might be undermining the Church in other ways?

I really do feel for those who have suffered abuse at the hands of my brother priests. But I also don't want virtuous and good priests to be tarred with the same brush. It is like the Catechism points out when talking about the Communion of the Saints. "In this solidarity with all men, living or dead, which is founded on the communion of saints, the least of our acts done in charity redounds to the profit of all. Every sin harms this communion (CCC #953)."

Let no more harm come to the Holy Church or to any of its members.

SPQR
No, not the abbreviation found throughout historical and modern day Rome (Senatus PopulusQue Romanus). Rather I mean: Silence, Pensiveness, Quiet, and Restraint.

I think I would prefer to practice some Roman sobriety or restraint rather than offering a further critique of "The Passion". I really meant what I wrote last night upon returning from the movie: Silence is in order. I don't hold this position because I want to guard (if only for a day) some special gnosis I have. Rather, I don't want to clutter anyone's experience of the movie with my own critique; at least not before it opens publicly. I fear writing about the movie may reveal too much before others have a chance to experience it themselves. I will withhold comment until a few days after its public opening.

I will say this, however. The movie is in NO way anti-Semitic; no reasonable person could make such a claim if he has seen the movie. It is artistically beautiful. Again, the subtlety of gesture, eyes, face, hands, speaks volumes. The Marian dimension of the film (because it is part of the life of Jesus) is strong and clear. I don't want to reveal scenes, but I came away believing that the movie showed how Jesus himself, in the midst of terrible, unimaginable agony, received strength and firmness of purpose to continue on with the Father's Will, by looking to his mother. Why would that strengthen his resolve? Because she was the first to say "Fiat," "Amen" to the Father's Will. I had never before thought of how Mary's fiat could have been a unique source of Jesus' own resolve to accept and drink from the chalice given to him. As a mamma's boy and a Catholic (read: Marian devotion) the interaction between Jesus and Mary hit me hard. From the start of the movie through its completion, I honestly cannot recall one audible word being uttered by anyone in the theatre. The obvious reaction of everyone present was stunned silence and tears. Bring a heavy duty handkerchief folks!

Scratching my head
I received a nice gift of chocolate from a kind person for St. Valentine's Day together with a card that reads: [card front] "Once upon a time, in a land far away, there was a handsome man who appreciated women for their minds. A man who preferred brains and a sense of humor over a roll in the hay. A man in search of commitment...[inside of card]...Thought you might enjoy a good fairy tale this Valentine's Day!"

Now, I'm curious, as a priest, what would your reaction to such a card be? Would you send such a card to a priest?

Ecce Homo, Ecce Pelicula

Please excuse the language mingling. Since our junior ragemonkey was able to see THE MOVIE, I suspect the cat is out of the bag. We can all expect a review from him very soon.

To be fair and balanced (hahahahahahahahaha), I wanted to include the review from the Associated Press. I would call it the normal handwringing concerning violence. (Oh, that reviews would ring their hands over overt sexual exploitation in movies.) The review in general is complimentary, especially to the cinamatography and the detailed screenplay that Gibson put together.

Once you realize the impact the movie might have, then you should start to expect the bitter screeds against them. Case in point: Andy Rooney. Yes, our favorite garden gnome of the news commentary world has weighed with his opinion. And the verdict? GIbson must be "crazy" if he wants to present Christ to the world.

This reaction is to be expected. St. Paul called the Cross a stumbling block for Jews and an absurdity to Greeks/Gentiles. Gibson is a good witness to us as we begin Lent. Many people will think we are odd or overly pessimissitic to deny ourselves things we like for 40 WHOLE DAYS. But I am not living for here alone. I am living to live with Christ, and that leads me right to the Cross.

Shrove Tuesday...Off to IHOP?

The Catholic Faith has influenced so much of the popular culture around us. Sadly, many people are totally unaware of the link between cultural practices and its origin in the Faith. Today, Shrove Tuesday or Mardi Gras, makes no sense without relation to the succeeding day -- Ash Wednesday. Without that day in the Catholic liturgical calendar there would be no Mardi Gras, no Shrove Tuesday. What does this "Shrove" mean, anyway? It originates in Middle English from "to shrive". My online dictionary says the following under "shrive": 1: to administer the sacrament of reconciliation to; 2 : to free from guilt; intransitive senses, archaic : to confess one's sins especially to a priest. One must understand that Shrove Tuesday was the completion of a whole period in liturgical calendars of old called Shrovetide. This period before Lent was a time to gradually rid one's house and oneself of the things that would be sacrificed during Lent, beginning on Ash Wednesday. The sense of repentance was already in the air before Lent even began. Rex Olandi Rex Cledendi has a link to an article here for more on the topic.

And what about this trip to IHOP? Shrove Tuesday has also become associated with pancakes, believe it or not. Since this day was the last day to rid the house of fat, butter, and eggs (in older penitential practices) pancakes became the food to make to use up what remained. And so a tall stack (requisite knee slap!) of pancake festivals have sprung up around this day. Perhaps even your parish has an annual pancake feed on this day? For more on pancakes associated with today read articles here and here.

I'm back from Golgotha
I have just viewed "The Passion of the Christ." Almost all I can say is sometimes silence is best. So much of the significance of what the film portrays is told without words, in subtlety, with eyes, face, and hands. I don't know why I didn't expect that given that I knew beforehand the film's language is almost nobody's spoken language. And it is such a CATHOLIC film! I almost wonder if our separated brethren can fully participate in the film; I wonder if they might be likely to miss some of the subtlety of which I write.

The theme that opened the flood gate of my tears time and again, and the one thing I really want to post here, is that the interaction between Jesus and his mother, Mary, is almost unbearable. Odd, given the physical violence displayed all over the screen. And then again, not so odd. Ave Domine Iesu! Ave Crux, Spes Unica! Ave Maria!

And the award for most obsessed fan goes to...

these guys.

I mean I loved the Green Lantern comic books, but seriously...





Gentlemen, it's called human interaction. Yes, I know that the three dimensions are a little scary at first and yes, it is hard to follow a conversation when there isn't a dialogue balloon, but you'll like it. I promise.

I can say things like this because I love comics...just not that much.

You're The Guns of August!

by Barbara Tuchman

Though you're interested in war, what you really want to know is what
causes war. You're out to expose imperialism, militarism, and nationalism for what they
really are. Nevertheless, you're always living in the past and have a hard time dealing
with what's going on today. You're also far more focused on Europe than anywhere else in
the world. A fitting motto for you might be "Guns do kill, but so can
diplomats."


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Thanks to Fr. Tucker over at Dappled Things for this really excellent quiz. Blue Pyramid, the origin for this quiz, has some other really interesting looking ones. But the level of self-actualization I am gaining from these it a little excessive. How can I be a book I have never read?

Techmonkey Dave here. There are a couple issues with the comments box.

Issue the first: The last template had a link to a website that had a objectionable word visible when clicked. My bad. I've fixed that.

Issue the second: sometimes, after you've typed your comment and hit the "add comment" box, you'll see a series of error messages. Fear not, your comment has been accepted. Just close that box with the error messages. The website responsible for the comment boxes assures us that this is a temporary problem. We'll see.

I now return you to the erudition, wit and depth of our brave ragemonkeys.

Let him rest peacefully with you, O Lord

I saw in the news that one of the victims of clergy sex abuse died under strange circumstances. His name was Patrick McSorley and was 29 at the time of death.

It was a hard life made more difficult because of the actions of Fr. John Geoghan. May he rest in peace and may all his loved ones know the comfort of Christ.

Nobody asked but it's just cluttering my brain...

I met Fr. Benedict when I was on the spiritual year which would have been 1995 or 1996. I can't recall if it was fall or spring. I had looked forward to his visit for some time. I had heard all sorts of good things about him. I had powered through a couple of his books. As part of the retreat he conducted he offered time for one-on-one conversations. I signed up as soon as I could.

We walked around the spacious grounds of the seminary and I told him about myself and about the struggles I had had thus far in the seminary. He was very compassionate and unlike anyone to that point in the seminary "system," he understood the pain and evil I had experienced. At the same time, did not act as though it couldn't be talked about or was some kind of secret. He called my parents' divorce evil, a deprivation of a good that should have been present. I just cannont express my joy at my encounter with him.

So as our time together neared an end, he looked at me and said, "If you are going to make it through the seminary, it is going to take a lot of courage on your part." Courage was necessary if I could both confront the past and discern what God was calling for. As I progressed through the seminary in Philly, our paths crossed from time to time. He even conducted my retreat in preparation for priestly ordination.

And for all these things, but most especially that commitment to courage, I thank him. I wouldn't be a priest for this one brief encounter. Courage is now one of my watchwords. It takes courage to reform one's life. It takes courage to proclaim the Resurrection. It takes courage to live the Gospel.

I thank God that he has not taken Fr. Benedict back yet. I still want to let Teresa, my sister, spend time with him. She loves Fr. B, I suspect, because of everything he has given to me. I still want to go on a retreat with him again.

It's a full time job...
...reading and then editing Fr. Tharp's posts for grammar and consistency. His "Making the Most of the Holy Fast" post is a good case in point. Under that post, #1 in his list doesn't read clearly and then at #4 he switches into using letters for the numeration. Since he messed around with my barber shop post, placing the bold heading under the bumper sticker, I am going to leave this on the blog until (1) Fr. Tharp edits his aforementioned post; or, (b) Fr. Tharp removes this post of mine himself. Of course, both would be fine too. Unless there is some space wrinkle tonight, I will see "The Passoin" FIRST! And, yes, my errors were intentional.

Where are they now?

Since we are linking to actors who portray characters we are allegedly most like, I thought you might want to know what is happening with them.

Fr. Tharp = Sejanus = Patrick Stewart ("Make It So!")

Fr. Hamilton = Augustus = Brian Blessed ("and you are who?")

This is just my juvenille way to say, "I want to see the Passion of the Christ first."

Making the Most of the Holy Fast
There is one downside to Lent. I can have difficulty 1.) making up my mind what I am giving this up, 2.) why I am giving up a particular thing, 3.) how to remind myself what I committed to give up, and D.) consciously choosing the good from which this attachment has kept me.

But not any more. Using the powerful computer on my desk, I have devised a way to improve Lent for everyone. It’s called the Penance Grid. Here’s how it works.

On a piece of paper, draw a 3 X 3 box. Then above the horizontal line of the top three boxes write Body, Mind, and Spirit. Then next to the line of the vertical, left-side line write Pray, Fast, Give Alms. It will look something like this:
Body Mind Spirit
Pray

Fast

Give Alms


(Ah, isn’t it cute. It’s like the Hollywood Squares without dealing with Paul Lynde’s comments. Sorry, the computer displays the grid; Blogger doesn't)

Now, look at the first box. How does one pray with one’s body? It might lead you to be more regular about your prayer time and duration. Or look at the intersection of “Mind” and “Give Alms.” Perhaps you could give your mind a break and give up TV for the whole season of Lent. Think about how much solid spiritual reading and just plain interacting with others you would get in.

The point is NOT to fill in every square. The idea is to reflect upon what might be out of whack and attack those places. Then when you are done, tape it up prominently or put it a favorite prayer book/Breviary/Magnificat. Now you can encourage yourself and stay strong the entire season.

Hope this helps.

The Spirit works in mysterious ways?

I just spoke with the Archbishop. In the course of the conversation he mentioned his tough task at this time of year: making priestly assignments. In describing the complications of this task he used the word "monkey-wrench". So soon into the life of this blog, could this be the Spirit's prompting of local ecclesiastical approbation for this site? I guess it could go the other way too. I'm so confused! Whatever it ultimately means, I don't think he meant this. And I hope he wasn't referring to this group of "environmental warriors". Of course, we do have some religious orders in the area with interesting charisms. Hhhmmm.

Perspective from the Barber Shop

With hairs freshly cut, I thought I would share some of the wisdom, perspective, and humor from my barber shop. It is run by two brothers and as tax time approaches their government waste observations are free for the taking! This is the bumper sticker one brother has on his truck.

YYYYYEEEEESSSSS!!!!!

I just learned that our local movie theatre is having a special showing tonight of "The Passion of the Christ" for ministers!

Preparation for Lent [Part Two]

Nothing like a different author picking up where one left off. Just call us "Scripture-rific" or the "Johannine Community". Here are a couple of my suggestions for the spiritual life.

Prayer for Beginners by Peter Kreeft. I read this a few months ago. It is a good little treatise and not very demanding (as regards length). After so many fine apologetic works, I found it neat to catch a glimpse of the soul of Peter Kreeft.


Prayer Primer: Igniting A Fire Within by Thomas Dubay. I am currently reading this one. As with Dubay's other works I have encountered, it is well done and worth it.

This is a bit ironic

Which Founding Father Are You?

There is no relation between Alexander Hamilton and myself of which I am aware, though I share his last name. Thanks to Bob at Republic of Virtue for the link.

There'll Be No Coups on Captain Picard's Watch!

Yes, Yes, I know he is a talented Shakespearean actor, but he will always be my favorite captain...or Gurney Haleck. It's a toss-up.

SEJANVS You worked as Tiberius' most trusted advisor, but when that lazy coward fled Rome to shack up in his house near the beach, you basically took over as ruler. You are ambitious and righteous, and not above killing to get what you want. But, as with every other leader in Rome, you must keep an eye out for anyone who might thwart your plans. Don't trust anyone, no matter who they might be. You were portrayed by Patrick Stewart.

Which I, Claudius Character are You? created by
Shiny Objects

Preparation for Lent [Part One]

Since all or most of us live lives that are busy and loud, a good way to take advantage of Lent is with renewed spiritual reading. There are lots of profitable books and I wanted to suggest just a couple.

One that I have read:
Transformation in Christ by Dietrich Von Hildebrand


This classic of the spiritual life was an unknown to me until I read VH's biography. This book worked on my mind and possibly improved my hearing of confessions. The biggest asset to the book was it helped me to take my actions more consciously and more seriously.

I have provided the link to Amazon for those who would like to order it now. But I would recommend hitting your local Catholic Book Shoppe. That way, the money "stays in the family." Or get a Sophia Institute Catalog. Unfortunately, the website was hard to use.

Two I am reading for Lent:

And You are Christ's by Fr. Thomas Dubay, S.M.



I was browsing this book after meeting the author in Wichita at the Family Life Conference. For someone who writes on the spiritual life, this was someone very present to those around him. So this one is to strengthen my commitment to celibacy. No, I don't mean like that. Celibacy and virginity should be a source of spiritual strength and power but usually it sits in the garage of the soul like a tricked out Corvette.

The link will take you directly to Ignatius Press.

The School of Prayer by John Brook
This one is a re-read. And No, it has nothing to do with this bozo. I read it on the Spiritual Year at Saint Charles. It was most helpful and given that a big part of my life as a priest is praying the Divine Office, I would like to pray it better at the end of Lent. It is also a very useful book for those who are starting out praying the office.

My apologies for linking to Amazon again. Please see the suggestion above.

Anyone else got some suggestions?

Blog coup? And National Guard is going to Haiti

AVGVSTVS You were the adopted son of Julius Caesar. Destined to become first Emperor of Rome, you are responsible for laying down the foundations of the most powerful civilization in history. However, as good as you are in leadership, you aren't so good at paying attention to your family. You don't pay attention to any mischief they might get into. When you do find out about the evils of your family, you're shocked and horrified. You just don't get why they turned out the way they did. You were portrayed by Brian Blessed.

Which I, Claudius Character are You? created by
Shiny Objects
Thanks to Fr. Jim Tucker, whose Dappled Things blog is where I found the link.

Hey, hey...

We look nothing like this. But considering the many kind visits and endorsements of our new blog, we are pursuing the idea of randomly visiting the cities of those who endorse us in this car. Maybe we need a sidebar link entitled "Monkey Like Car"?

It's Not Easy Being Green...So Quit!



From the Delusions of Electability Files, Ralph Nader throws his hat into the ring. This is the guy who ran as a Green Party member the last two elections and got a tiny percentage of the vote. Technically it was a statistical dead heat between Ralph, myself, and the martyrs of the Mexican Revolution.

For this election, Ralph has abandoned his verdant party past and embraced the Independent Party. Typical of American politics. When your personal position doesn't work, dump it! I personally don't think that Nader will make much of a difference in the election now. If he has any support, he lost it the instant he changed affiliation.

Most laughably, he claims that he will be more effective against GWB in the upcoming election. Who is he kidding? This guy wouldn't be effective against an aggressive slice of pizza.

I need a parish school

I have been so fortunate in my first two parish assignments to have a parish school. And I miss that now in my third assignment. At the first school I made sure to be very involved. I would regularly visit the classrooms to check up on the classes and allow them to ask me questions. Man, do the kids have good (and surprising!) questions. I would come and speak to certain classes at a teacher's request, telling the kids about respect and charity toward one another or why their pets probably weren't going to heaven. I would read to the pre-Kindergarten children and enjoy their snack with them (Green Eggs and Ham taken with forced smile and prior arrangement with the teacher for a SMALL portion!). I always made sure to come during Catholic Schools Week and bless each classroom together with the traditional Epiphany inscription over each class door. You want to get kids' attention? Walk into a classroom in cassock, surplice, and cope! And I would preside at the May Crowning. At the second school I continued these practices and I took on an even more formal role. I taught both the seventh and eighth grade religion classes (shameless plug here for the Faith & Life Series by Ignatius Press!). Oh, how I loved that. It was there (and about a year ago today) I developed something I will continue wherever I am blessed enough to have a parish school. I called it "Fr. Hamilton's 2003 Lent Challenge." I invited each student of the school to formally sign an agreement with me listing their lenten practices and/or sacrifices. I became party one to the contract and the students were collectively party two. I challenged them to be faithful to their lenten practices as I would be to mine. If one party was faithful, they then could impose something upon the other party. We agreed ahead of time that if even one child was faithful (I should have thought this one out more!) they would impose on me a flat top haircut; if I was faithful, all student participants had to join me for the four Sunday's after Easter at the parish church to pray the Rosary together. It was wonderful! It got the kids excited and serious about naming some lenten practice and striving to be faithful to it. Of course, it helped me too. So, at the end, I had a flat top and they came to pray the Rosary -- a challenge where we all "won". I hope to have that again some day.

Resistence is Futile!



After essentially only a week we have had over 150 visitors to the site. Thanks to everyone who has put in an appearance. I suspect that the number might be inflated by my own egoistic need to see the site and bask in its warming glow.

The assimilation begins today. Bring more of your friends and let them join the Army of the 12 Ragemonkeys!

I am so excited

It always seems to sneak up on me. A few weeks of Ordinary Time and then another liturgical season is upon us. My lenten practices and sacrifices are often, shamefully, chosen with great haste because I haven't given sufficient reflection to them in the weeks before Ash Wednesday. I love the simplicity of Lent. I smile as I drive around town and see the Protestant communities advertising "Ash Wednesday" on their billboards -- if only they would come fully to the Banquet Table. I love how our churches are more full during Lent. And I wonder what happens with everybody's schedule after Lent: so many seem to find time to come to Mass and Stations during Lent; where is that time to be found afterward? And this Ash Wednesday 2004 in particular. Oh, I am so excited for the opening of Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ"! I read in the newspaper yesterday that AMC Theatre staff in Oklahoma City are apparently claiming that they have sold more "Passion" tickets in OKC than any other AMC Theatre in the country. Wow! Yes, we are in the Bible belt. I know prudence dictates that we not prematurely "hang our evangelical hats" on this movie, before even viewing it. However, it frustrates me how many Catholics have only heard the scurrilous accusations of anti-Semitism hurled at the movie and so are left with the impression that "Catholics aren't supposed to see it". Even if that were the case, why can't we arrive at that kind of humble posture before doctrinal matters that the Church does authentically and authoritatively teach? Anyway, here's to getting excited about having a dirty forehead...

"On your marks, get ready..."

As I look around the rectory, I cannot tell you how ready for Lent I am. The place is a mess and I have all sorts of paperwork, not to mention my taxes to attend to. Plus a couple of articles to get on. So I need some quiet and time for meditation.

For most people, Lent is an ugly word. It means giving things up and not enjoying one's self until Easter. But I don't look at it that way. Lent is exciting because it speaks of possibility. The word "Lent" comes from a Middle English word for springtime. Outside the front door of the parish church in Alva, tulips or daffodils are beginning to poke green leaves through the soil. They can do this because the bulb has stored its energies and now directs them to the goal, to flower fully and beautifully. I sound like a hippie when I say this, but we can be the same.

When Lent begins, the Word, Jesus Christ, burrows into the heart of the one who hears. "If today you hear his voice, harden not your hearts...(Psalm 95)." From there, it seeks to uproot the weeds of vice and the hard rocks of sin by slowing moving its roots and tendrils outward. We give the Word assistance by taking a Garden Weasel to our souls and assisting the uprooting process. You might know this better as "fasting, prayer, and almsgiving." And when we start, we don't realize how in a year, the garden of the soul is really out-of-sorts.

As Lent progresses, we begin to see change and blisters from the work. We are tempted to give up. Then the Church reminds us to be joyful for the end is soon and goal is in reach. The flower is ready to sprout. And then we reach Holy Week. And then I have to see the cost all this change has cost. And how poorly I have responded. And how thankful, He has not forgotten his enemy. He has loved him back into existence, or a fuller existence.

He's Home but not Home Free!



As many of you know, Fr. Benedict Groeschel, C.F.R. was involved in a very serious car accident while working in Florida. There were several days when I opened the website expecting to see black crepe and funeral notices. The accident left Father with a broken arm, a broken leg, some kind of head trauma, and I think he had a heart attack as a result of the accident. Father is 70 years old and I wasn't quite sure how much longer we would have him amongst us.

That was a month ago. He has gone home to New York. I gave a link to Fr. Glenn Sudano, C.F.R. , Community Servant above (just click the picture). It is the most recent letter but you can access the past letters from there as well. The recovery has been nothing short of a miracle. It might even be a miracle, albeit a hard one to use for canonization purposes or prove in general. The hard part has begun for him.

So folks, please continue to storm Heaven for this most excellent priest. I suspect that without his intervention I would have abandoned my vocation to priesthood. If anyone is interested, I will tell you the story of how Fr. B. made courage my favorite virtue.

A Disturbing Dimension on Purgatory

I have been testing the Borromeo Project in one of my parishes (I have three that I am pastor of). Today, we talked about death, judgment, heaven, hell, and purgatory. It was very fruitful and very interesting as I have two Protestants (spouses of parishioners) in attendance. It often becomes apologetic-ious.

So, no big surprise, the Protestant Observers had some difficulty with purgatory. Essentially, salvation is an all or nothing proposition and there is no need to make amends or to be purified from the effects of our sin after the sin itself is forgiven. I made a spirited defense and explanation, but I don't think I got all that far with them.

Anyway, as I drove home, an aspect of purgatory occurred to me. Normally, we like to think that we merit all of our good acts and that if we sin, we got "tricked." But if you assert that Purgatory is part of salvation and redemption then you have to admit a couple of things. You have to admit that our good acts are really more God's than mine. When I do good, I am really cooperating with the Grace and Revelation of God. You also have to admit that our sins are really more about me than God. You can think of it as Grace and Revelation pulling at us trying to keep us from the switch. But we still choose it, and then like Urkel, standing in a field of debris say, "Did I do that?"

Purgatory forces us to admit that we are not the be-all and end-all of the moral universe. We are required to assent and then act. After you read this, say a prayer for the Holy Souls. Help them and they will help us.

Okay! We'll tell you

We have been inundated with requests to our liturgical department regarding what Fr. Tharp and Fr. Hamilton will be wearing for Ash Wednesday. This is an aspect of blogging we never expected. But, public persons that we are, we are happy to accede to these requests. I have searched the internet long and hard to find an image of our sacred vesture for Ash Wednesday. Here it is:

There's a little taste of the fabric, anyway. The Children of the World Chasuble! I have dubbed this product the "Children who will never see the light of day because they will be shut inside the bottom drawer of my sacristy" chasuble. Seriously, we each own an absolutely dignified Holy Rood Guild vestment which will be in use. Unfortunately, I cannot find a photo of the vestment itself. But rest assured, it doesn't appear as if we just cut swatches of fabric off of Great-Grandma's couch and decided it was liturgically worthy!

Betrayed or Finally Visible?
I lamented the fact that my family would probably never see this site. I am not lamenting any more.

Fr. H's brother, in one of the comment boxes, has blown the whistle on Father's crypto-obsession with this neo-crooner. Here is the facts:

John Hamilton website @ 4:07AM February 22nd 2004 Sunday
Comments :
I am Fr Hamilton's brother and I know he loves Clay

Will Fr. H be leaving messages here soon?

But seriously, no more "Clay" messages. I don't want a bunch of teeny boppers confused when their Google search here.