Catholic Ragemonkey

Campaign Trail: Day 11
Fox News: This is Lamb Blitzer reporting from the campaign trail in Oklahoma for Council of Priests: Decision 2004. Casting much doubt on the credibility of claims that Fr. Hamilton suffers from frail health, he made a brief campaign visit today at a nursing home. He bounded from his campaign car, a 2000 Buick with 98,000 miles on it, looking as young and spry as ever. With a quick "thumbs up" and rapid fire pointing at his gathered supporters, he quickly entered the home, focused on the real purpose for his presence: pastoral care. Only afterward did he stop for a brief statement. Fr. Hamilton spoke of the concerns and needs of the elderly and ailing. "Too often," he said, "those who would take advantage of the weak and infirm are like wolves standing at the door. We must work to provide adequate care and attention to our beloved elders." Speaking in Spanish, he continued his message for those who do not speak English, "El lobo esta' a la puerta. Necesitamos cuidar para los desafortunados, los ancianos, y los debiles." Following a quick Angelus and blessing, Fr. Hamilton headed back to the parish to ready for the weekend.

Though Fr. Hamilton has been nominated for the Council of Priests, campaign reporting is entirely fictitious.