Catholic Ragemonkey

Campaign Trail: Day 12 Council of Priests: Decision 2004
Just moments ago, a campaign first was witnessed in these final days before the Council of Priests election: an Internet forum of the four nominees. Each candidate was interviewed with select members of the Press in attendance. In addition, questions were received via e-mail and addressed to the candidates. CRM is now pleased to present a transcript of Fr. Hamilton's interview.

Miss Eeng Link Magazine: Fr. Hamilton, of all the candidates you have the least experience as the pastor of a parish. Your opponents have all weathered the stresses and demands of parish life and as regards pastoral experience they are all well-seasoned. How does your record compare?

Fr. Hamilton: My opponents all have years of experience as pastors. They have certainly weathered storms greater and more numerous than mine to date. To that end, I admit that one could say their records are more heroic than mine. However, I stand ready to serve wherever I am called. But I ask you, what happens when seasoning goes flat? Of what use is it? It is good for nothing, but to be trampled underfoot. Sometimes it is precisely new seasoning that brings out flavors we had long forgotten.

Toledo, Oklahoma (via e-mail): Fr. Hamilton, as you know the number of ministries available in the average parish is a concern. In some parishes, ministries have been lost. Your plan to preach the universal call to holiness has helped increase ministries in some sectors, but in others the rebound has been slow in coming. How would you rate your plan to increase ministries?

Fr. H: That is an extremely pertinent question in this campaign. It is troubling that some remain without ministry, even after the Spirit of Vatican II has swept these plains. But I think the slow rebound, of which you wrote, is not because of my plan, but because my plan has yet to be taken to heart. As it goes with most spiritual matters, the hearts of individuals must change or even the best plans will not come to fruition. In short, I think my plan to increase ministries has been a catastrophic success!

Lamb Blitzer: Fr. Hamilton, where were you during today's men's Olympic marathon?

Fr. H: Wh... Where was I? I'm afraid I don't understand.

Lamb Blitzer: Father, do you own a kilt and a green vest?

Fr. H: Are you trying to say.... that ex-priest today... I mean.... Are you suggesting that I am really the former-Fr. Horan, who interfered with Brazil's Lima as he ran today's marathon?!

LB: Father, can you explain where you were today?

Fr. H: This is ludicrous! I admit, I had no desire to see Brazil win the marathon gold, but I certainly did no such thing. This is the lowest of the lows.... If I get my hands on you, I'll.....

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We now return to coverage of the Closing Ceremonies of the 28th Olympiad in Athens.