Sunday, May 29, 2005

Hunger Strike: Report #1
A few days ago I posted my demands for a peace settlement with the good folks over at Johnlet. Little John Francis is the star over at Johnlet and we here at CRM have enjoyed the photo updates his good parents post on their blog. There is no doubt about it, John Francis is pretty darn cute! I mean, yes, he did sort of win us over by sporting a Ragemonkey baby bib, but with all objectivity, he's a cute little baby. And, oh, does he play the camera!

CRM staff understands that John's parents are first time, young parents (we think) and so there is much to learn as they embark on the adventures a growing family brings. We don't expect them to be perfect. After all, some lessons can only be learned the hard way. Such is the case, with what CRM perceives as a slight by the staff at Johnlet. They apparently traveled from their home in Colorado to Houston, passing through at least a part of Oklahoma. We have no evidence that they stopped to visit even one Reverend Ragemonkey. Thus began some posting on CRM's part that we feel slighted.

In my last post on this matter, I demanded that little John Francis slap together a special photo essay dedicated to CRM, with at least one photo of him in a full monkey suit. Friends, to date, there have been no new posts over at Johnlet and no evidence that their staff is even aware of the tensions that have arisen between us. As threatened, I have begun a hunger strike until such time as Johnlet complies with our demands. The hunger strike has only been going for a few days now, but I assure you I am making huge sacrifices. I mean, for instance, I can report to you in this first hunger strike report, that I am really hankering for a delicious steak fromage, a lovely filet with blue cheese filling, with asparagus topped by hollandaise sauce, a nice garden salad, and some fresh bread.

BUT, I am not going to give in! I'll just eat regular food until Johnlet complies!

No comments: