For the last 2 years and 2 months, I have been struggling with the demon called food. Actually, that's not fair. The food isn't the problem. It's the way I deal with stress and anxiety. Because of my delightful childhood, I learned quickly to disconnect from my emotions just so I could get through the day. The side effect though is that those feelings must be dealt with and I did it with food. Not perfectly am I over this, but at least I can see it after the wave passes. Life long good health and weight will come when I can catch the wave before it hits. But that is neither here nor there.
The following list is a fantasy. Yes, I would love for the producers of the Today show to find this and make it happen, but really folks, ain't going to happen. So, I share them with you. I don't expect anyone of you can make it happen, unless you know a television producer or six as you will see. Like I said, some of this is over the top, but it really should tell you where I am right now in my journey.
10.) Style Consultation with either Tim Gunn or those two folks from "What Not To Wear." Let's just face it. I shouldn't be interested in fashion, men's or women's, but I am. From an artistic point of view, it is about enhancement of your appearance, and not necessarily vanity. A great $10 Tee can go a long way to improving an outfit. Here's my issue. Have grown up overweight, I have a weird body perception problem. I can't visualize how my body looks. That shouldn't surprise given I have lost 16 inches off my waist alone. I don't have a sense of style. That doesn't mean I am completely clueless about what looks good on me, but I would like some helpful feedback, some guidelines.
9.) Appear on American Gladiators or some similar show. Losing 156 lbs. has meant reclaiming my body and discovering a scary fact. I am an athlete. My body does respond in the right ways to injury and to exertion. I can do lots of things that I never thought I could do. Apart from weight lifting - I was already on that - I play tennis and am learning Kung Fu San Soo. I still freak out a little when the Sifu says that I am a natural or that I am talented at this. Therefore, I would like to put this new body to a little test. Sadly, American Gladiators has been cancelled, but the BBC is still running theirs. Battle across the pond anyone?
8.) Take on a physical challenge to raise money for a Catholic organization. I am not sure that the Archbishop would excuse for the month or more that it would take to do this, but it would be cool nonetheless.
7.) Get a book deal for my story. Actually this one had better not happen as I haven't got my other book's edits finished yet.
6.) Train with Jet Li or Jackie Chan or other Kung Fu Grandmaster. See number 9 for explanation.
5.) Throw a really tremendous party for my friends. This is one of those hobbit moments I have. I see this weight loss health transformation as a rebirth. I would like to reward all those friends who have prayed, supported, rallied, encouraged, and otherwise made the moment of achievement possible. I already have my present in my health restored; it's my friends who deserve the treat.
4.) Take a vacation that was primarily about roughing it. Never camped, never did bike tours, but I think I would like to do that at least once. Maybe a bike tour of England?
3.) Meet Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. I have mentioned in another place how their friendship and the work they have done together reminded me of the essential role of friendship for sane living. They were one of the wake-up calls I got to go on this journey. Therefore, I would like to meet them at least once for more than a split second. Simon's busy with impending baby but otherwise it would be fun. I would like to put my skill at "Ooh, Ahh, Dracula" to test against Mr. Frost. Under this one, can I add appearing in an action movie as an extra or a background thug or a Klingon soldier? Simon, you'll put in a good word with J.J. won't you?
2.) Appear on one of those fluffy daytime talk shows. I think Regis and Kelly would be great. Could do one segment with them then run down to Rockefeller Plaza for a brief appearance on Today. Yes, some of you will say this is vain, and this time I am not going to deny it. After all, I have a deucedly hard time taking compliments - this kind of information overload should break that, right?
1.) Just keep the weight off. For me, this weight loss is a dream that I am afraid I will wake from. The greatest thing I could receive is never be more that 10 lbs. over my goal weight. Given that my goal weight is 190 that would mean I would always be between 190 - 200. That seems reasonable and sustainable. If I bulk up, that would be fine too. Hmm, maybe I should work in a percent body fat idea into this. Either way, getting there is only a third of the battle. The remaining 2/3 is staying there.
Anyway, these are the things that populate my head from time to time.