Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Hilarious!

I love the essence of a film distilled down to 30 seconds. It's a go-go life style I lead, and I can't sit around waiting for plot and character development.

The people (the insanely funny and sick people) at Angry Alien Animation. The above link will take you directly to Jaws in 30 Seconds. Enjoy.
Back to School Time!

I love Back to School time. I always did. Oh, sure, there was the twinge of fear creeping around my head. Will I like my teacher(s)? Will he/she/they like me? I wonder what we are going to learn? Is it going to be hard stuff to learn? But I loved the trip to the TG&Y and later the WalMart for school supplies. Those were my weapons and tools for waging an academic battle. I thought of all the great organizing and sorting my Trapper Keeper would help me accomplish. I loved the heft of a good pen in my hand; that's an addiction I still fight hard against whenever I have to go to the office supply store for the parish.

I think I loved most the sense of possibility. Nothing had been determined yet. I could get a 4.0 this year, or lead in the school play, or be the most popular guy. So, when I had to run to the Wal-Mart today for a couple of poster frames, I smiled nostolgically down the back to school aisles, wanting nothing more than to grab a big box of crayons and a fresh pencil box and some new notebooks.

Too bad for all the gloomy kids. It's a great time of year.
For those who gather at the starting line...

With Easter arriving very much earlier this year than in years past, and a flurry of things taking me away from the parish from time to time, I had to get started on R.C.I.A. a bit earlier than I wanted to. Thankfully, I have all the notes from last year's classes, so it is a matter of expanding and fine-tuning, rather than re-writing. I'm also really excited that this year the program includes daily readings from the Holy Bible in an effort to give people the big picture of Salvation History. I'll keep you posted on that front.

The principal reason I mention this is to ask your prayers and penances for my class of candidates and catechumen. I have NO idea how many will show and so the first night is a bit anxious for me as well. Thanks in advance.
Fruits of the Pilgrimage

I thought everyone would be edified by the prayer our Holy Father composed to Our Lady of Lourdes in honor of the recent pilgrimage. I am still amazing and moved whenever I see him struggle against the rising burden of his cross of ailments. The early popes who suffered a swift martyrdom before the crowds, in the colosseum, in the courts, must be praying for this heroic warrior. He struggles with every step to hand on the Gospel truth, that suffering can be redemptive. Okay enough of my prattling; here's the text. Say it once today for someone you love. Say it again for some one in need. Say it a third time for some one struggling with a terminal illness.

POPE JOHN PAUL PRAYER TO OUR LADY OF LOURDES

Hail Mary, poor and humble Woman, Blessed by the Most High! Virgin of hope, dawn of a new era, We join in your song of praise, to celebrate the Lord’s mercy, to proclaim the coming of the Kingdom and the full liberation of humanity.

Hail Mary, lowly handmaid of the Lord, Glorious Mother of Christ! Faithful Virgin, holy dwelling-place of the Word, Teach us to persevere in listening to the Word, and to be docile to the voice of the Spirit, attentive to his promptings in the depths of our conscience and to his manifestations in the events of history.

Hail Mary, Woman of sorrows, Mother of the living! Virgin spouse beneath the Cross, the new Eve, Be our guide along the paths of the world. Teach us to experience and to spread the love of Christ, to stand with you before the innumerable crosses on which your Son is still crucified.

Hail Mary, woman of faith, First of the disciples! Virgin Mother of the Church, help us always to account for the hope that is in us, with trust in human goodness and the Father’s love. Teach us to build up the world beginning from within: in the depths of silence and prayer, in the joy of fraternal love, in the unique fruitfulness of the Cross.

Holy Mary, Mother of believers, Our Lady of Lourdes, pray for us.

Amen.
Why Tolerance is Not A Virtue

You see, folks, when I or others of a Christian persuasion, any Christian persuasion, attempt to analyze the trends in our society, then we are being terribly judgmental, not giving the other side a fair shake. In short, we Christians are intolerant.

The instant our society wants to lampoon what we believe, even if I would be hard pressed to describe what the Rev. Roberts teaches in his play "Hell House" as mainstream Christian belief concerning eschatology, although that is an assumption as I have never seen the material in question, then we are taking this stuff "too seriously" or acting like a "fundamentalist." We should just lighten up is the advice offered.

Look closely to see the contradiction. If I step on non-Christian toes, then I am intolerant. If they step on my Christian toes, then they are just being funny and I can't get the joke. In short, the problem is always the other person. I can't recall the philosopher/theologian who said, "Hell is other people," but it applies here. Imagine the picketing outside the theater if I put on a show lampooning abortion rights or animal activism.

Where is the tolerance of Christian beliefs and mores in our society? It doesn't exist. The same people who wail and strike their breasts, rending their garments, that Christianity proposes that actions have definitive consequences and those consequences have eternal repercussions, claiming that sort of thinking is terribly intolerant, are just as intolerant themselves. Rather than trying to understand and critique the idea, an immediate act of pigeonholing takes place. By marginalizing the speaker, we get the added bonus of marginalizing the idea. Christians have to be cautious of this as well. Since we are the recipients of the fullness of Christian teaching, we often treat an argument for or against something as already decided. For the person of faith, that might be the case; if the goal is persuasion of the truth, then we must assume nothing and try to walk through the steps anew each time the matter comes up.
Do You Have to Buy Them in Bulk?
Israel Cave Linked to John the Baptist

What makes this story interesting, of course, lies with our common depiction of John wading halfway out into a river to baptize. Rather, if the archaeologists have it right, baptism had a formal, "liturgical" structure even before the institution of the sacrament of Baptism. Also, the presence of the stone jars suggests to me that baptism by John was not necessarily a full immersion job. It looks as though he might have simply poured water on them as the sign of their repentance.
The Reason My Back Problems Go Largely Untreated



FEELING A BIT GUN-SHY
I have to admit to feeling a bit gun-shy about posting considering that my one comment in the post on the movie Collateral has turned into such a big deal for one reader. They have threatened to contact my bishop about it. It was a person who objected to my comment on homosexuality; but I was really just trying to say what the Church teaches. Wow, only ordained 3 months and I might be in hot water. If people are interested in a discussion on this topic, I refer you to a series of articles that appeared in the Catholic Standard & Times, the paper of the Archdiocese of Philiadelphia (I know there is a link to the Archdiocese's webpage on CRM), by Susan Brinkmann. In it she not only explores the Church's teaching, but also scientific research and what is really being discovered.

Time for a break.

Monday, August 16, 2004

Sad And True! Volume One

New Mexico Children's Event Criticized for Backing Planned Parenthood
Santa Fe, NM (LifeNews.com)
-- The Buckaroo Ball Committee, organizers of a three-day public celebration to benefit children in the community, has given over $36,000 to the nation's largest abortion business. As part of its $500,000 in grant money distributed to area organizations, the Committee granted Planned Parenthood $36,316 for their Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention Program, “which focuses on health-centered problems, issues and parent/teacher training.” Pro-life organizations have pointed out that health and sex-education programs run by the largest abortion business and its affiliates do not solve the teen pregnancy or abortion issues. Margo Taylor and Roxanne Shaw Apple, Grant Committee Chairs of the Buckaroo Ball, told LifeNews.com that Planned Parenthood successfully met all the requirements for their rigorous grant application process.

Yes, Ms. Apple, PP met all the criterion, except for the common sense requirement. Clearly, you benefit children who were able to run the gauntlet and escape the womb. For the rest, all bets are off.

Sunday, August 15, 2004

Geez! Take a nap and see what happens!

I see that our novice blogger fell into the trap that everyone else does. Just a reminder. Anonymous posts will most likely be banned and erased. Vulgar posts that don't address the issues, use profanity, or make fun of a previous post-er will be erased and banned.

And Fr. J.C., next time, follow your instincts!

(turns away from computer grumbling)You take one evening off...and this is what happens...

Saturday, August 14, 2004

'Cheer Naked' T-Shirts Get Coach Fired

I sat for the longest time just staring at the screen and rubbing my eyes and thinking, "What?!" and "Duh?!" and "I should hope so!" Are those interjections?
St. Maximilian Kolbe




As I am sure most of you know, today is the memorial of St. Maximilian Maria Kolbe, the OFM-Conv. who gave up his life for a strange in Auswitz, 1941. What you may not know, is that I have a special devotion to St. Maximilian, and, following an old custom, took Maximilian as my ordination name. I used the following quote from a letter of St. Maximilian (see the Office of Readings for this day) in my homily this morning:

"Let us love our loving Father with all our hearts. Let our obedience
increase that love, above all when it requires us to surrender our own
will. Jesus Christ crucified is our sublime guide toward growth in God's
love."

St. Maximilian Kolbe, pray for us.

"COLLATERAL"
I mentioned in my first post, that I went to see the movie Collateral this week on my day off, and that one line from the movie has caused me to do a bit of reflection. Roger Ebert certainly has a better review than I could write, and I refer you to his review (I guess I need to consult with tech-monkey Dave or Fr. Tharp as to how to put a link in a blog; I am new to blogging) which I agree with completely. A brief summary, without giving away any surprises, is that Max is a cabbie who picks up Vincent, a guy who has 5 business stops to make. Sadly Vincent's business is killing people (read on and you will see that Vincent might disagree with that description of what he does). The movie is very strong in character development, and Jamie Foxx, who plays Max the Cabbie, gets bonus points in my book for I never knew he could really act. Tom Cruise, who plays Vincent, does a good job too (it was more difficult to type that than you know), except he has cheesy make-up to make him look like he could grow "5 o'clock shadow" and to give him grey hair. I am not sure why the director wanted Vincent to look older, it actually does not fit in with other aspects of Vincent's history (sorry, you got to see the movie to see why I think that), but the more I ponder it, I think it was make Vincent look like a fake person (fake hair and beard will do that), which would be a further sign of the director's depth of vision and commentary.

OK, I am getting to the point of this blog. At the first stop, Max finds out what Vincent's business is (his hint was a bloody body falling out of a 4th story window onto his cab; not subtle). When Max says to Vincent, "you killed him," Vincent answers, and here is the line, "No, I didn't kill him. I shot him. The bullet and the fall killed him."

WOW! What a statement of most of post-modern/modern/Generation-X thinking that is. I am only responsible for my most immediate actions, but none of the consequences. Yes, I had sex with that person, but I am not responsible for the life that results from that. Yes, I voted for that bill that made it legal to grow "embryos" for their parts (e.g., stem cells), but I am not responsible for killing babies. Yes, I have been promoting the killing of babies through abortion, the cheapening of human sexuality by promoting contraception & homosexuality, but I am not responsible for the degradation of the family, and the turning of people into objects to be used. Sick, sick, sick thinking people.

However, this type of thinking is very common in modern society. I guess we can trace much of it back to DesCartes with his famous "I think therefore I am". Of course the problem with such a philosophy is that it traps a person within their own mind; ultimately it gets pushed to not being able to know if anything exists outside of my mind, my perception. Berkeley, the English philosopher, tried to keep God in the equation but saying that while a chair ceases to exist when it is no longer in mind, he believed that since God keeps everything in mind, everything can stay in existence. However, Berkeley (or at least in my limited background in philosophy I never discovered it) by starting from the human mind, seems to unwittingly say that God exists BECAUSE people believe. So what would happen if no one is keeping God in existence by keeping Him in their mind? Does not cease to exists? If God, who b/c He has a bigger mind can keep more things in existence, ceases to exist because no human mind is keeping Him in it, then it seems like an aweful lot of things will just wink out of existence. Of course philosophers after Berkeley just dispensed with the whole idea of God, and ultimately concluded that we can know nothing accept one's own perceptions, so we don't know if anything outside ourselves exists.

In psychology this idea was basically taken up by Carl Rogers. Everybody seems to like Rogers; he is soft and cuddly. Roger's basic idea was that mental illness, in whatever form it takes, results from a discrepency between how I see myself and how others see me. However, if you read him more closely you will find that he does not believe that we can actually know what other people think, or even know that other people are, we can only know our own perceptions. So the real problem, according to Rogers, is the incongruence between my "real self" and my "ideal self." While Rogers ended up calling his school of thought Person-Centered Theory, it can also be described as Self-Centered theory. With all that navel gazing it does not take long for one's world of "reality" to collapse inward, getting smaller and smaller. So only one's most immediate actions is one responsible for. Since I can't really know that other people exist, I cannot really care for or love them. In fact, this "others" really are just defined by me, my perceptions, thus are not really subjects or persons, but just objects, extensions of myself.

Of course Christ calls us to view the world very differently. First, reality and existence does not begin within myself. Rather existence comes from Other-ness. Not that we are made from the substance of God (panetheism, or is it pantheism, I get those two things confused, but both are WRONG), rather God is so utterly Other than creation. He is Creator. Creation is an act of love, which by its essence is a gift being given outward; not the inward navel gazing of modern philosophy and psychology. So no Vincent, you are responsible for more than just shooting the fat guy. You, Vincent, not the bullet, is the principle cause of the fat guy's death.

Sorry for another long post. I guess I have been holding the inner rage monkey in too long.

Friday, August 13, 2004

Howdy from CRM East
I would just like to introduce myself to all the readers of CRM. I am Fr. J.C. Maximilian Garrett, a friend of Fr. Tharp's from the seminary, and he invited me to be something of the East Coast Correspondent for CRM. I am a priest of the Diocese of Trenton, NJ; having just been ordained a priest this past May. In fact, since the "powers-that-be" at the seminary conspired so that then Deacon Shane Tharp never preached to the Theology Division therefore I never heard him preach, I invited Fr. Tharp to preach at my First Mass of Thanksgiving (on May 16), and he did a most spendid job. I still get requests for copies.
In any case, prior to entering the seminary I was a college professor and director of a graduate program. I have a Ph.D. from the University of Illinois in Counseling Psychology. Now, please do not hold that against me, among my colleagues I was known for being quite the critic of modern psychology which has completely diovorced its from any philosophical basis in reality. You will certainly hear more on my thoughts of what is wrong with modern psychology as I post to CRM, but I will share one my sayings that Fr. Tharp seemed fond of, "Kill your inner child and grow up." Dr. Paul Vitz is so correct in his analysis that modern psychology has become largely a pseudo-religion which worships the Self. If any body among the readers of CRM needs a therapist, I recommend that they look for a referral from www.catholictherapist.com, for they screen their members to make sure that they are faithful to the teaching of the Church.
One of the reasons I think Fr. Tharp invited me to be the East Coast Correspondent is because we frequently "raged" about the conditions of society. I was originally going to make my first posting about a line in the movie Collateral which I thought captured a major problem in American society. However, since I am from the State of New Jersey, how can I not comment on the resignation of our governor, James McGreevey. I will save the comments on Collateral for another post.
While I am sure that there were many in the State that did not know that Gov. McGreevey was gay, his announcement really did not come as much of a shock to people who pay attention to State government. So what really prompted the Gov. to resign and "come out"? I strongly believe that it was to become a martyr of a sort. While believing completely, not just because I am a faithful Catholic but also because of my clinical experience as a psychologist, that the homosexual orientation is gravely disordered, that in and of itself is not a reason to resign from office (especially in the liberal bastion that is NJ; which has the most liberal laws permitting fetal stem cell research in the nation, thanks to McGreevey, who also signed into law our domestic partners act; color me shocked). Even his adultery, as shameful and painful for his family (he has two daughters, one from each of his wives) it is for his family, would not really be a huge issue for New Jerseyans. The immediate reason for his resignation is that he is likely facing a law suit from his "lover" for sexual harassment. However, that was just the straw that broke the camel's back. Gov. McGreevey was seen as a really upcoming star of the Democratic Party; not only in NJ but possibly even nationally, but once he became governor he was connected to one problem after another. The first and biggest was appointing his "lover" to a $110,000/yr job as the State Director of Homeland Security. While questionably ethical, what made it a real problem was that Golan Cipel (the "lover") is a foreign national, with no real security background, who could not even get the basic security clearance. For the State that lost the most number of its citizens in the attacks of 9/11/01 this was a huge slap in the face. Apparently it was more important to give his "lover" a high paying job, than for the Governor to be a) sensitive to the families and friends who lost loved ones in the terrorist attacks, and b) be truly concerned about the State's security. Then the Governor appointed an ex-con to head the State Police, and this man so demoralized the troopers that eventually even the Democrats were looking for an "honorable" way of removing him (unfortunately that was making him the police director for the city of Trenton, so now that department's officers are demoralized). Most recently Governor McGreevey's two closest fundraisers have been charged in Federal courts for criminal behavior, including hiring a prostitute to try to get a businessman in a compromising position (it failed). While the Gov. has not been implicated, as of yet, the fire is getting very close. Apparently at the Democratic National Convention, McGreevey was avoided like the plague. His poll numbers are very low.
By resigning now he is getting a lot of sympathy, and being called courageous. Of course by not making his resignation effective until Nov. 15 (alledgely to make a smooth transition; but did he really keep the State Senate President, a Democrat, so out of the loop that it will take 3 months to get him up to speed?) the Governor avoids a special election which could have been bad for the Democrats (they expected him to not only finish his term but run for re-election, so they did not really have an heir apparent ready). I really do not want to be partisan, I am a Catholic first and foremost (personally I wish we had a true Christian Democratic Party, like those that sprung up in Europe shortly after Pope Leo XIII's social encyclicals that tried to promote the Church's social teachings), but nothing of the Governor's actions seem honorable, and I have to question if this is really going to be helpful for the Democratic Party. NJ was going to be in the "D" column come Nov. (not that I am happy with that; Senator Kerry is a gutless, spineless weasel who could not make an important decision if his life depended on it -- oops, a bit a bitterness leaked out). Supposedly McGreevey staying in office until after the election will "help keep it that way" but I don't see how. I mean he will now be a constant reminder and target for criticism. I mean I think that you would want him to get off the stage as quickly as possible; the Governor-to-be, Senator Cody, has not been a big name so not too controversial. I just don't get it; but that is politics in the garden state -- covered in fertilizer.
Well, enough of Jersey politics. Until next time, this is CRM-East.
TV Cooking Show Host Julia Child Dies

Eternal Rest Grant to Her, O Lord. May she enjoy the banquet of Heaven that all of her wonderful preparations were merely a shadow of.
Father Groeschel slowed but working again after near-fatal accident

On behalf of the brothers, I would like to thank you for all of your prayers and sacrifices which helped speed Fr.'s recovery. He has been a good friend to me in the past. In the last year, I lost two of my priest mentors. I don't think I could have dealt with a third loss.

Thursday, August 12, 2004

Reasons to Love the Olympics, Part One

I don't know if I will have anything else for this, but I want to be more optimistic.

After everything that the people of Iraq have been through, it is great to see them return to the world stage associated with something very positive. I watched a bit of the match and they played with smooth effeciency. Only a couple of tactical errors marred their play.

The Olympics are awesome because they allow people to strive in the arena of skillful performance and prove themselves, not at gunpoint, but at heart of those things that make us truly human, solidarity, respect, and a proper competitive spirit.
Yay!

Just when you thought that common sense couldn't reign in the U.S. again...
Overheard at The Conference

Fr. Tharp: "Ah, Father (the liturgy director for Wichita), given that you don't have a bishop..."
(an outburst of laughter from Fr. Larkin and Fr. Gorges)
Fr. Tharp: (continuing) "...what do you say when you come to the mention of the bishop in the canon?"
Fr. Borkenhagen: "You just skip it."
Fr. Tharp: "Oh, good. That's what I thought." (Walks over to Fr. L and Fr. G) "And what was so funny?"
Fr. Gorges: "When you asked about the bishop, I thought you were volunteering for the job."
Fr. Tharp: "I would never come right out and ask...what kind of evil manipulator do you think I am?"
New Strongbad!

And this one is perfect for BACK TO SCHOOL!
What the ?!

Has anyone noticed the decidedly medical tone to the Spanish Word of the Day on the blog? The last couple of days in particular focused upon mental illness terms, like phobia (fobia) or dementia. Does it know something I don't know? Suffice to say, it's good that Fr. H is taking some time off.
He's Got the Look!

On Saturday, during the conference, we celebrated Mass at 11:00 a.m. It was the highest weekday Mass that I had been to in a long time, probably since the last conference. Wonderful were the music selections, the Mass parts in Latin and gently chanted, an excellent homily from Fr. Andrew Apostoli, C.F.R., and the remainder well-celebrated by Fr. Antonie Thomas, F.J. But while the priests were vesting in the make-shift sacristy, a funny thing happened.

I was standing next to Fr. Andrew, chatting it up about Fr. Benedict, when another priest slipped over and introduced himself to Fr. Andrew. Since my mother raised me not to be a heel, I introduced myself as well. This unnamed priest looked at me and asked, quite innocently, "Are you in the same order as Fr. Andrew?" There was a momentary pause as Fr. Andrew and I looked at each other and said, virtually simultaneously, "Ah, no." But to ease the embarassment, which proves the superiority of Fr. Andrew in the realm of social moral issues, he added, "But he does have the C.F.R. look."

I have never thought of it that way, but I suppose that a religious order could create a fashion trend. Personally, I think it just suggests that I shouldn't wear sandals or let my beard go untrimmed at the same time. And for all those wags who suggest that I should just shave off my beard and be done with it, I want to suggest an image to you. Remember that scene in The Passion of the Christ where Christ is scourged? My throat shreds when I shave and I would generate more blood and gore than that scene.

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Hot and Tasty

Sorry, I can't provide coffee and doughnuts. The internet is not that advanced. But I can promise new treats at Apologize and Don't Be Sorry. Given that Sunday is the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary, I dedicated the column to a basic overview of the Church's teaching concerning her. Enjoy!
Back At My Station Keeping

Greetings everyone! I got back from my time away last night, but after a marriage preparation class I had, I truthfully didn't feel like blogging. But today is different.

Just as a note to readers, if this post seems a little off, blame it on the muscle relaxer I took before sitting down. All that time in the car and on the road has ruined my back...again. I will probably have to go get an MRI done here in the near future.

Okay, first, some comments on the Midwest Family Life Conference are in order. This year's conference was the only fifth but compared to last year, the numbers seemed up. I would guess that about 2000-3000 people attended including several friends from other places and previous assignments, not to mention several bloggers. Thanks to Jennifer from Ruminations for coming over and saying "hi." I like to get the face behind the internet mask if you get my meaning. And I was impressed that you committed yourself to a 9 hour trip to attend. Way to GO!

The whole tone of the conference is set by beginning first with a Eucharistic Holy Hour. That's right, friends, you read it here. The three day conference begins with one hour of adoration before the Blessed Sacrament, carried into the main hall, in solemn profession. An extra treat came in the form of Fr. Antoine Thomas, from the Order of Saint John, leading the hour. While translating for the French accent was a trifle tricky at times, I was most impressed at how he invited the children to join him on the floor in front of the monstrance for adoration. He clearly has a gift for working with kids and leading them to Christ.

The talks on the whole were excellent. One speaker did a presentation on walking with the Blessed Virgin Mary that I didn't particularly like or find useful. I always have a little problem when speakers try to parse the inner life of the Blessed Virgin Mary using his/her own experiences. After all, if I can't understand myself all the time, how will you hope to get to the inner workings of another, especially one free from original sin? Further, the talk given, when you use your personal experiences, tend to sound like you are making a presentation about, well, yourself and not the subject you proposed. On the flip side, Jeff Cavins made a wonderful presentation on forgiveness on Sunday morning, but here is where a particular weakness of the conference came to mind. All day Saturday, priests are available to hear confessions. Removing from the discussion all those things that are outside the control of the conference planners, why wasn't that talk given on Saturday, to set the tone so to speak, rather than on Sunday when far fewer priests were around and available to hear confessions?

So, all in all, a wonderful, not to be missed, experience. Since the conference falls on the same weekend every year, the first weekend in August, you can plan now. I especially encourage my brother priests to make plans NOW to attend. Here in Oklahoma, to get coverage for a weekend, you have to plan months in advance. It might be the same way for some of my brother priests as well. Also, if you don't live near Wichita, I know that these conferences, sponsored by St. Joseph's Communications, are becoming available in other parts of the U.S. The next one, I think, is in St. Charles, IL, and is slated for November.

That's all for now on that. I have a couple of other posts to make, but you'll have to wait. I wanted you to know that I hadn't abandoned you all or left for a religious order spontaneously.

Monday, August 09, 2004

Sick, sick world
I have intended to post on this for a few days now. If you turned on the TV last week you were probably bombarded by media coverage of the prison release of former teacher and convicted child rapist Deborah Letourneau (I think that's her first name). In a sick and twisted "relationship" with one of her sixth grade students, Debbie bore two children by the young boy.

Issue #1: Why was this such a huge story? It was not simply a matter of a quick story that Debbie had finished her prison sentence as was being released, it was extended coverage from release, to appearance at the local sheriff's office to register as a sex-offender, to interviews with the victim, now a young man of 21 years. Even just the advertisements of the upcoming interviews with the victim sickened me. It was as if the media was still salivating over the sex of the story. Though journalists tried to treat this coverage as professional, it seemed more to me that lurking behind their questions was a pagan fertility homage that could be described like this: "Hey, this kid scored in sixth grade!"

Issue #2: I suppose now that both Ms. Letourneau and the victim are legal adults, they are able to decide whether to pick up where arrest, conviction, and prison forced them to leave off. I am not surprised that a court would lift the restriction that kept them apart. But it seems to me that more than the victim's current age is at issue here, or at least ought to be. Though the victim is now 21, I don't pretend that he is really capable of thinking clearly about whether it is for his good that he reunite with Ms. Letourneau. Let's face reality, folks. The victim was a child who was preyed upon and sexualized at a very young age. I would imagine that his understanding of the truth and meaning of sexuality is still warped and that having had such an intense experience at such a young age has almost precluded his ability to form an appropriate, meaningful relationship with another woman that could eventually lead to commitment and sexual fulfillment.

I know I have made many assumptions there. I just think the whole situation is sick: sick when it first happened and sick in its current headline status. I view the victim as someone most likely still imprisoned by his teacher's abuse.
Cell phones are so much fun!
Folks, I'll let Fr. Tharp fill you in on the Midwest Family Conference. I have been before and I am confident it was excellent. I suppose I need to begin planning now so I can attend it next year. However, be sure to ask Fr. Tharp what he enjoyed more at the conference: the conference speakers or my harassing phone calls accusing him of creating an ego vortex as people fawned over a young priest!

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

Pope again stresses Europe's Christian roots

Don't you just love the Holy Spirit? I mean, here is a frail old Slavic Catholic just throwing the glove down in front of the mighty of the world. The only way that can happen is through the Lord and Giver of LIFE. Granted that by the time the EU realizes what a catastrophic mess their anti-Christian posture creates, we all might be hunkered down in a bunker. But I digress...
Proof Positive

I have a message for every celebrity politico out there stumping for ANY candidate. Kids, I couldn't care less what you think of a particular candidate. Your star power doesn't give you rhyme nor reason to expect your views about a particular candidate to sway me in the slightest. I would literally have to move BACKWARD down the evolutionary chain for that to happen. You see, when I weigh for whom I am going to vote, I use this funny thing that sits between my ears. Yes, you know it...MY BRAIN. And then I ask, "are the policies of this candidate in fully conformity as they are expressed and knowable with the Catholic Faith I profess?" Then and only then do I pick a candidate.

To my fellow Americans, if you let these blown-dry, air-brushed, liposucked, more-plastic-in-their-bodies-than-a-Tupperware-party, pot toking nattering ninnies tell you who to vote for, then we will truly have the president we deserve or at least, that you are asking for.

Thank you...screed over. I feel better. Don't you?
Study: Heart-Failure Drug Caused Deaths

Another candidate for the technical definition of irony...
Myanmar Peacock Eaters Get Prison Terms

Funny, I always thought peacock tasted like chicken...

Quick quiz. What do you call a female peacock?
Are you ready?

In a little less than 18 hours, I will be on a short vacation. I am running like a grinning banshee out the door for the Wichita Family Life Conference. But before that, the Archbishop is hosting a get-togther for the priests of the diocese and the seminarians. Ah, let the fun begin.

Then into the Batmobile to hit the diocese to the north, WICHITA! Boo-Yah! Those who are going to be there, the faithful blog readers, you will recognize me by the beard, the pot belly, and oh yeah, the clerical collar. I am so jazzy! I can't wait.

This means no more posting until Tuesday. Be safe until then.
A Martial Priesthood

While I am not the Real Slim Shady, I am really into the vision of the spiritual life as a battle. After reading the Letter to the Romans, I find my ideas confirmed and supported. Namely, that being a really faithful Christian takes a fair amount of work and sweat on our part because we have such a debt of God's goodness to respond to.

In my last post, I mentioned the whirling spin kick of love as part of my coersive tools. I have others. They are all part of my personal Martial Arts System, Tharp-Kwan-Do. This personal system is a part of the larger system called Agape-jitsu. Like traditional eastern martial arts, a practioner of Tharp-Kwon-Do uses his special skills only for defense of the Faith and the conversion of souls. We do not use this knowledge to injure others, unless a free Mocha Latte from Starbucks is in the offing. In that case, you take your life into your hands. Along with the move mentioned above, other manuevers include: Toe Hold of Logic, the Grapple Throw of Tradition, Roundhouse Kick of Conversion, Reverse Punch of Hope, and my personal favorite, the Reductio ad Absurdum Bear Hug.

Those interested in learning more of these techniques need only visit my dojo in Alva, OK.
New Link of Note

I read after seminary a wonderful book about a young man's conversion from the homosexual lifestyle to a fully Christian life. It's called Beyond Gay. Well, lo and behold, I discover that the book's author, David Morrison, also has a blog full of informative, excellent material. Because of this, and the fact that he linked us, I am commanding you with the power of the Ragemonkey, to go to his site today and spend 15 minutes reading and browsing. Go and do not make me unleash my whirling spin kick of love! The blog is Sed Contra.
Subversive Evangelization

I don't know where these ideas come from, but I certainly hope this one is inspired by God or at least one of the angels. I was driving around OKC on my day off, when I caught sight of an advert for last year's St. Patrick's Day Bash down in Bricktown. For those not in the know, Bricktown in OKC is a renovated section of the old packing district that now houses posh restaurants and the ballpark. Of course, I was saddened by the thought of the memory of St. Patrick being associated with puking and green beer. And this is where the idea cropped up.

Imagine an outdoor booth with a big sign that says, "Find out what today is really about." You could have two small t.v.'s showing a solid biography of St. Patrick, one for kids and one for adults. On the table near the center, a couple of helpful volunteers and a priest could hand out holy cards and pamphlets on the life of the saint and some evangelization tracts as well. Isn't that evil?

Even if this couldn't happen, we all could stop and take a moment to reclaim this holiday and others like it from paganization. For example, go to Mass on St. Patrick's. Then after Mass, with your family, go to your favorite rowdy restaurant. When it comes time to visit the bathroom, when you are done, leave a pamphlet on the sink. When the check comes, slide in a good tip and a holy card.

You see, the new evangelization isn't all that hard, once you get a little creative about it.

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Monkey Bites Toddler In New York City Supermarket

Wasn't me...I can prove I was nowhere near NYC.
Reflections upon suggestions

Okay, a few days back, I asked for some input on what a parish should be doing for the Year of the Holy Eucharist. I am going to list them in rank of popularity and make some comments about each one.

Adoration of the Most Blessed Sacrament outside of Mass
This is a core issue that everyone pointed to. More people wanted it; those who took part regularly wanted more Adoration. Some of the suggestions, though, are impractical. I don't think readers understand just how small my parishes are. Sacred Heart in Alva is about 100 families, Our Mother of Mercy in Waynoka about 20 families, and St. Cornelius about 40 families. Therefore, perpetual adoration is right out. More likely are the weekly adoration and the modified 40 Hours Devotion ideas. As Fr. Antoine Thomas, a major proponent of Children's Adoration, will be at the Family Life Conference in Wichita so I think I am going to pick his brain. I think what might happen is the kids will go to adoration as part of the Religious Education program on Wednesdays.

Catechesis
This is a no-brainer. My problem is what to do. I think bulletin inserts or articles are a given. And I have made plans to have Eucharistic formation incorporated into the Religious Ed. classes. But what else fits in here?

Speakers
I have plans to bring Mark Shea to the parish in November. Since he has a talk called An Evangelical Discovers the Real Presence, this would be fitting. That the event will go in the newspaper goes without saying. I probably could think about bringing another speaker in 2005, but I am not sure yet.

Eucharistic Processions
This was a very cool idea that hadn't occured to me. I could do this at the end of the modified 40 hours. I especially liked the idea of driving to other parishes with the Blessed Sacrament in the Monstrance. C.J. gets bonus points for thinking outside the box.


Special Prayers After Mass
Already under way. I have this problem with the current practice of many daily Mass congregations of thanking the priest, apparently for saying Mass. I am not the source of the Mass; Christ is. Therefore, the faithful should be encouraged to thank God for the Mass and then if the priest is particularly hard-working at making sure the Mass gets the treatment it deserves, then send a note, call later. But 15 seconds after Mass is concluded doesn't do any favors.

Debate
Ah, no. Not a bad idea. Just the wrong context.

Poetry Contest
This is might be good for RE. Just need a good essay question...

Home Masses
No way. My experience has been that home masses trivialize the Mass in spite of my best efforts.
Catchy Diddies

I was never meant to be a professional musician, but clearly I have an ear for music and musical structure. On Saturday last, I was flipping through the channels in a vain effort to find something that didn't irritate or offend. Yes, I know, good luck. The cable provider up here carries CMT (Country Music Television, for the uninitiated) and they were showing a video by an artist named Cledus T. Judd. He's the Weird Al Yankovich of the country music set. I sat and listened for about 2 minutes and thought the premise was amusing. It was a homage to Nascar based upon Toby Keith's "I Love This Bar" recast as "I Love Nascar."

The next day, and I mean all day, I had the hook and refrain running through my mind. I could not purge it. At one point, I almost recited it as part of the Eucharistic prayer! Apart from the blasphemy issues, I wonder how many folks would have noticed. This just goes to show how anything can become a permanent part of our neural net if we let it. Come on and sing it with me, "Ah, vroom, vroom, vroom, I love Nascar..."

Friday, July 30, 2004

(Half)Baked Beans: Part III
Hmmm.  Let's see.  If the first post was "half baked" and then there was another post that was "half baked," it would be fully baked, right?  And now a third post...  I guess we almost have refried beans!

Okay, I jetted home from the movie theater last night from viewing Spiderman 2 (Very cool!) and only missed the first few minutes of John Kerry's speech.  Here is my commentary.  Overall, I thought it was a very strong, well-crafted, and well-executed speech.  That is not agreement with content, folks.  However, as I watched Mr. Kerry, I couldn't help but think of the oft-studied Nixon-Kennedy debate when Nixon looked dark and tired, an impression, I guess, that remained with voters.  Kerry, though he perked up in a few places, looked tired and half dead.  I think it is something about his eyes and the bone structure of his face.  Just my impression.

Now to some of the specific things Kerry mentioned.  I will offer quotes where I am able, but I warn readers that I may have the exact words slightly off even where I use quotation marks.  Here's a moment I loved: Kerry speaking about being in Scouts.  "...that Den Mother taught me to see trees as the cathedrals of nature...blah, blah...and so we can and must march to the day of full equality for all women."  I have no problem with equality for women, but the comment seemed like a political force or sleight of hand.  One moment he was speaking about nature lessons in Scouts and the next he pulled out some awkward reference to equality.  I failed to see the connection.  Given the way the sentence began, I expected a comment on environmental policy.  I was left scratching my head in confusion instead.

Kerry, and several convention speakers, mentioned restoring trust and credibility to the White House.  Uh, excuse me, folks, that's what W had to do following your last party official.  Perhaps I am out to lunch, but I don't get the sense that the White House's current occupant is lacking in the trust and credibility department.  I think the use of that slogan by democrats is a red herring.

Feeding us some optimism, Kerry said we can do great things "but only if we stick to our ideals, and that begins by telling the truth to the American people."  What?  Does that mean someone is lying?  And if so, lying about what?  Fill me in, Senator, please.  Or could Kerry have been referring to Ron Reagan's lies about what embryonic stem cell research really entails?  In that case, I get the remark and, yes, I would like the truth.  Another truth moment would be telling us just how much money the rollback of the tax cut for the wealthy is going to provide.  Because as I listened to the platform, full of many great ideas, I hear lots more dollars and cents required than the tax cut rollback will provide.  Also, could we get the truth about the humanity and the distinct life of the unborn?  That would be nice.  Because the last time I checked, Senator Kerry, you weren't surprised when your wife gave birth to a human being instead of a puppy.  Yet you still support the government sanctioned availability of abortion.

Kerry said, "I will appoint an Attorney General who upholds the Constitution."  What is he talking about?  How has Ashcroft not done that?  And if he really hasn't upheld the Constitution, do any of us really believe he would still occupy his position?  Give me a break!

He claimed that this is "the most important election of our lifetime."  Was he using the royal "we" there?  Maybe this is the most important election of HIS lifetime, for obvious reasons, but I really don't believe that 2004's is the most important election of our lifetime.  That's a slogan that really means nothing.

Another moment that left me laughing was this, "On my first day in office I will send a message to every man and woman in the service telling them, 'You will never be asked to fight a war again without a plan to keep the peace'."  Now, I think sending a message of support is a great idea, but that?  Is that supposed to make them feel better?  I mean, if I am in Iraq, sucking down sand, brushing off flies and sand fleas, eating nasty, already prepared meals, sleeping in tents and fox holes, and hoping I make it through THIS war, the last thing on my mind is the NEXT war!  Support them in THIS war, Senator, don't use their position as a political tool to talk about the possible future war-time policy of a Kerry Administration.

Kerry called for an America where "everyone has an equal shot at living up to their God-given potential."  Okay, let me get this straight.  Suddenly, someone's potential is protected and God-given when it refers to health and education, but not when it refers to life itself.  Where is the respect for "potential" when the discussion turns to abortion?  See, because the last time I checked, the Democratic platform rejects "potential" arguments in that arena, and certainly doesn't recognize that potential as "God-given," only "man-given" if we "want" it (the baby) to realize its potential.

Towards the conclusion of the speech, Kerry said, "Faith has given me values..."  As it should.  But as far as I know (and I give credit to a dear college seminary friend for this statement) the faith that God desires from us does not require abortion in any of the three trimesters.  So, Senator, when you speak of God's will, what does that ultimately mean?  He went on, "I want to pray humbly that we are on GOD'S side."  Senator, I don't presume to be the Eternal Judge or to know what the outcome of your particular judgment will be, however I can judge public, visible actions in this world.  With that said, it can be stated quite accurately and fairly, that some of your public actions, positions, and statements on the quite serious matter of innocent human life are taking you down a path that, if not changed, will not bode well on Judgment Day.  You may have wonderful ideas, programs, and plans, which seem to promote a basic equality for all people, but if all of that is dependent on whether or not someone gets out of the womb, whether or not someone is "wanted", then your proposed equality is no equality at all.  Rather, it will be another example of privilege for the few.  As for praying humbly that we are on God's side: Better get praying, because I can tell you now in all certainty that abortion-on-demand has absolutely nothing to do with God.

And finally, as a U2 fan, the last insult was "Beautiful Day" cranked up in the convention hall when Kerry finished his speech!


Homage to the Human Intellect
Francis Crick, the scientist who, along with James Watson, discovered the double helix shape of DNA died on Wednesday at the age of 88.  What an incredible discovery that opens so many doors for doing good, and holds so much responsibility because of the danger of abuse!  So, here's to Francis Crick and Deoxyribonucleic acid.  May God look kindly upon Dr. Crick and forgive him whatever sins he may have committed.  May he rest in peace!

Thursday, July 29, 2004

I need a hero...
Don't forget to tune in tomorrow for my reflections on John Kerry's speech at the Democratic National Convention.  Yes, it will be cynical and jaded.  Perhaps my take on it was strongly influenced by the fact that I was hyped up on heroism (watch it, folks, that's heroism!) from having gone directly from the movie theater (seeing Spiderman 2) to my home television to watch and listen to Kerry.  Lots of comments are coming...

P.S.: I LOVE IT!  I just ran spell check on this post and the dictionary not only didn't recognize "Kerry", but it suggested "Kerouac" as a replacement.  OH, the justice!
I should hope so!

I wonder if this happened in the Lincoln diocese...
It is Finished!

I'm sorry, folks, but I just can't continue with the book club blog.  I recognize that this is mostly my fault, prinicipally for not being more disciplined and for not conceiving of a better way to make it work.  Thank you to everyone who took part; your insights were most useful.
Thrown Back?

No, this has nothing to do with Fr. Johansen's blog. Rather, for all those wondering whatever happened to simony, here's your modern version. I received this via email, but I can't remember who sent it. Thanks all the same.
Defend Your Vocation!

I am a little behind with my purging of my email box, so sue me. Oh, wait, you can probably do that now...strike that. A dear friend sent me this message concerning a federal amendment concerning marriage. Although the amendment came into the Congress with much bluster and little action, I still think we need to take the step of presenting ourselves to the public square. Even if we suspect that the political activity we engage in might not yield anything, we must remember that we are called to be faithful, not necessarily successful. Take some time today and fill out the survey at the link given above, if you would please.

Also, thanks to Ingrid for the link. There is a delicious irony here as I presided at her wedding. But I must wonder. When will I be invited for dinner?

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

(Half)Baked Beans: Part II
Well, I never got around to commenting on Tuesday night's activities at the Democratic National Convention ... until now.

First, Ron Reagan.  His father's death was mourned by a country, and for an honorable length of time.  But now the sympathies are over.  The overriding opinion I have of him,after watching his DNC appearance, is that he is a shameless opportunist.  Yes, I know that his attachment to the stem cell research issue is deeply personal and fueled by a serious loss.  However, it is apparent that Ron has the audacity to act as if anyone who opposes his view wants to see, or worse actually enjoys seeing, people suffer from terrible disease.  He presented the embryonic stem cell issue as if it were a "no brainer", that there is no reasonable objection to it.  It was totally offensive.  Furthermore, he quite literally lied about what happens with embryonic stem cells.  He explained the procedure as beginning with the harvesting of cells from one's own body.  Yes, that is one issue, but that is not in any way an adequate explanation of "embryonic" stem cells, which is what he claimed to be explaining and advocating.  Furthermore, he walked his listeners through what I can only call a "cartoonish" presentation of the science and the reality of embryonic stem cell research.  He put on the hat of biological and philosophical expert by claiming that embryos are not human life and that "we all know it too" because they don't think, or breathe, or have fingers and toes.  The man is an arrogant ass.  And only the most idiotic of modern morons could stand at the podium of a national political party convention to deliver an address and actually claim that his is NOT a political speech.  Give me a break!

Second, Teresa Heinz Kerry.  BORING!  What was she talking about?  I don't think I can tell you.  I did have to scratch my head at the constant reference to women being silenced and longing for the day when women's voices would be heard.  Can anyone tell me which America she is living in?  Women's voices aren't heard?  Still?!  What does she mean?  What does she want?  Please, lady, stick with the ketchup!  Your point is much clearer and quite tasty on that front.

And now tonight.  John Edwards.  He knows how to play a crowd.  He delivered a great speech.  But more and more (and I don't reserve this comment only for Democrats, by the way) I find myself giving that evaluation of a speech based almost purely on its "energy and vitality".  Why?  Because, it seems like these politicians say everything, which is actually saying nothing because you can't pin them down on much of anything.  He rattled off this amazing list of what he and Kerry would do in the White House, the whole time pretending that they will somehow be free of the bureaucratic gridlock that is the modern political landscape.  The message seems to be that when a Republican can't get things done it's because he is lacking morally.  When a Democrat can't get things done, it is someone else's fault.  Oh, they all play that stupid line don't they?  While I enjoyed Edwards' vitality in the speech, I found myself wondering, how are they going to pull all of this great stuff off?  The Tower of Babble in Boston.

And, no, I don't really expect the Republican National Convention to be Babble-free.  I do expect it will make a bit more sense, however.



Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Signs of Visible Communion

Well, maybe not.  I just added a few more links to our illustrious blog.  The reference page is a huge help in this project as is our evolutionary status.  See the side bar for explanation of the latter point.  Spend some time reducing your stress by sniffing around.  And to those all those who sent links for consideration, there will be some movement on that by the end of the week.  If you see something that needs to be added, just email.
Planning Ahead...

In case you have been wondering, I have been working on the next year's schedule of events here at Sacred Heart and her missions.  Prinicipally, I have had something on my mind that I need some help on and want to elicit the reaction of our readers for some input.

As most, if not all, of you know, starting in October 2004 through October 2005, the Holy Father has declared a "Year of the Holy Eucharist."  The idea is to encourage devotion and stimulate love for the Most August Sacrament of the Altar in this time.  The question I have is how.  If you were my parishioners, what would you want to see done in the parish?

Monday, July 26, 2004

(Half)Baked Beans
I am honestly disturbed by what I see happening in the Democratic party.  I speak of what seems to be a concerted effort to vigorously attach the party platform to the most controversial of life issues.  The heat has really been turned up on the stem cell issue.  I can't count the number of times it has been referenced in the past days and in the first hours of the Democratic National Convention.

I listened as President Clinton spoke this evening.  It was like he never left office: both in his oratory and in the reception he received from the convention (right down to the re-playing of Fleetwood Mac's "Don't Stop").  Did anyone else catch the Messianic overtones of what Bill Clinton claimed was Kerry's lifelong mantra, "Send me"?

And then there was this snippet from Clinton's speech.  Describing the unity that Americans desire, Clinton claimed that Americans want a country where we can "celebrate our racial, religious, ethnic, and tribal differences because our common humanity matters most of all."  Now, I could have that quote a bit wrong, but it sure sounded as if he said "tribal" differences.  I guess I didn't know that we had tribal differences in America.  Oh well.  Furthermore, and the real point of my offering this quote, why can't we celebrate our developmental differences too, by reverencing embryos and the elderly terminally ill?  What was that about common humanity mattering most of all?  But I suppose I am just being divisive again.


Friday, July 23, 2004

CATWOMAN

Most readers of the blog know of my fawning admiration for Roger Ebert as a film reviewer. But you know something...I have a secret to confess. I don't enjoy his positive reviews. I love it when he hates a movie. Then, Mr. Ebert unloads a fountain of oppobrium upon everyone connected to the movie, and only rarely does anyone escape being spattered with dung. When he likes a movie, he sings its praises and makes connections to film history, and quite frankly, while beautifully written, don't leave me with much to savor.

I have NO intention of seeing "Catwoman." There aren't enough letters in the word "NO" to describe the no-ness of this proposition. But the review, linked above, is classic Ebert. Also, his review of "A Cinderella Story" hovers near pure genius

Thursday, July 22, 2004

The Hatchet Man
Well, I have been a bit burned on blogging considering how my last two posts generated some comments that caught me quite off-guard.  I think this is a rather safe post, however.

I have been consumed with money matters lately as a new pastor.  We have been preparing our Annual Financial Report (for all three parishes) to submit to the Archdiocese.  Then there was the marathon budget planning meeting for Fiscal Year 2004-2005.  And today, I have been discovering all sorts of bank accounts the parish has, many that are unused, and several lacking the new pastor's signature on the signature cards.  So, I feel like the hatchet man today: I have closed four accounts in the interest of consolidating our monies into the three remaining accounts.  We had seven separate accounts before I started surgery.  I think the three that remain are safe: the main checking account for parish operations, the building fund account, and a separate checking account we use for social services (when people need assistance with bills, etc.).  We'll see how this all works.  This level of administration is a new lesson for me as a first time pastor.  And I am picking up so many lessons about budgetary matters which, while intimidating to this novice, is actually sort of interesting!

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

When Caffiene and Social Justice Meet

Thanks to my former partner-in-crime, Fr. J.C. Garret of the Trenton Diocese, for this link. This is one of those moments where the genius of Catholicism is on display. Who would have thought that my cup of coffee could a sharing in solidarity with the poor of the world? Take that, Starbucks! Actually to be fair to the Coffee Oracle, they have also been a part of the effort to support the small growers throughout the world. I just couldn't find a place for buying this coffee.
When Humor and Religion Meet As Cultural Artifice

I was treated this morn to today's Get Fuzzy which as comic strips go belongs among such luminaries as Calvin and Hobbes and The Far Side.  Here it is:



Not only is this funny, it proves one of my earlier comments.  Religion is written into the fabric of culture.  There are those who are reading this strip this morning going, "Huh, what does that mean?"  But you and I, fair reader, we know the sad history, and at least someone is making hay from it.


Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Missing the Point

Dear Ms. Ronstadt:

As someone who once worked in your profession, I can certainly echo your feelings about how a crowd affects your performance. I know that many times I would be singing or acting on stage and the audience's mojo will fill me with energy.

But, I found this comment odd: "It's a real conflict for me when I go to a concert and find out somebody in the audience is a Republican or fundamental Christian. It can cloud my enjoyment. I'd rather not know." Funny. I thought I plunked down $50.00 to hear you for my enjoyment. I would think that such an authentic performer as yourself would know that the raison d'etre of your performance is my enjoyment. That is why you are up there? If you are concerned about your enjoyment, might I recommend singing in the shower or in the car? That way you never have to worry about all those nasty, scary, opinionated Republicans and Fundamentalists messing up your vibe.

Sincerely Yours,

Someone with a Clue.
In Honor of Our 50,000 Visitor
 
To think that in less than 6 months this humble blog has received 50,000 visitors is just, well, shocking to me.  That a simple country parson such as myself could reach out and touch the World without having to invoke the Dallas Charter is simply gratifying and wonderful.  Thank you to everyone who has visited and who has contributed to this blog's awesomeness.
 
So, to honor all those visits, I thought I would let you in on my secret plan for evangelization.  You see everyone, there is a nostalgia craze for the 1970's sweeping the U.S.  It occurred to me while sitting in my car that maybe there was a way to weave this into a new wave outreach to lapsed Catholics.  Here it is, the first song from my new album, Parochial Schoolhouse Rock, Liturgical Rock: Do a Genuflection!  Enjoy! 

Music: Lynn Ahrens
Lyrics: Fr. Shane Tharp
[based upon the original song, Interjections!, from the Schoolhouse Rock series]



 
When Father came to his assignment, new (uh huh)
He found a congregation who (uh huh)
Thought the Mass an invention
From their imagination,
so Father taught them all about genuflection!
 
[spoken in rhythm:]
 
(Hey!  That's neat!)
(Wow!  I remember that!)
(Whoa! That looks hard!)
 
[Refrain:]
Genuflections!
Show adoration
or veneration.
They're generally done by the faithful
by bending the right knee
and touching it gently to the floor.
 
Though the servers knew just what to do (uh huh)
They acted like they hadn't a clue. (uh huh)
With one swift correction
To the servers' intentions,
Father taught them when to make their genuflections!
 
(Cool! Is Jesus really in the tabernacle?)
(Wow! I'm helping people grow closer to God?!)
(Neat!  I'm part of the universal worship of the Church!)
 
Repeat Refrain
 
[Coda]
So when you're happy (Hooray!)
or sad (Aw!)
or frightened (Eeeeek!)
or mad (Rats!)
or excited (Wow!)
or glad (Hey!)
A genuflection starts our worship right!
 
The parents came to the parish hall. (uh huh)
They thought that they had heard it all. (uh huh)
But before First Communion,
So their kids would be in union,
Father demonstrated genuflection!
 
(Dude! It's changed my belief!)
(Man!  I love the Mass!)
(Huh!  How do you do that again?)
 
Repeat Refrain
 
Repeat Coda
 
Repeat Refrain
 
[Tag:]
Genuflection!
It shows reverence
and veneration
Alleluia!
Alleluia!
Alleluia! ... Yeah!
 
(The Mass is ended; Go in peace)
 
 


Vatican Names Austrian Seminary Inspector
 
I just have one question. Can we have one of those too?  Please....
 
Please with sugar on top....
 
I'll clean up my bedroom.... I promise....