Something in the air?
You have already heard Fr. Tharp lament that no one showed up a few weeks ago to his first RCIA class of the new year. Sadly, that situation has not changed. Tonight was the first session of RCIA in my parish, scheduled to begin at 7:00 p.m. At 7:02 p.m. a young married couple showed up. He is Catholic and interested in learning more of his faith; she is Baptist and already expresses a desire to become Catholic. Let there be no mistake, I am very happy they have come to the class. However, I am disappointed that there were not more. I advertised in the local newspaper (something that had not been done here in years) and I made personal telephone calls to people who had previously expressed interest in learning more about Catholicism. Yet no one else showed up. We will see what happens next week, as these matters seems to slowly grow by trickle effect.

It makes me wonder if there isn't something in the air of this deanery, which Fr. Tharp and I share. A town of 12,000 here and no one else has shown interest. Hopefully, we will have a few more next week. Rest assured, full attention and good catechesis will be given to the young couple who did show up!

Now Regis throw his lot in with Belial...

Because of equal time requirements, I wonder when George W. will be on...?

The Meaning of the Motto

Someone asked via email what that Latin phrase on the sidebar means. This is the translation for the linguistically challenged: "All things with St. Peter, to Jesus, through Mary." The attitude is simple. As Catholics, we want to build intimate communion with our Lord. Since St. Peter, and the office he represents, is the Rock of the Church, we find certainity in our faith. As Christ entrusted Himself to the Blessed Virgin, we who are desirious to grow unto the likeness of Christ should entrust ourselves to the Blessed Virgin.

A Useful Reflection

Fr. Jim Tucker went to St. Charles in Philadelphia for one year. This is where I got to know him. This post I have linked to demonstrates why big things are in the offing for him, IMHO.

Debunking Pope Fiction

No, no, I love that witty book by Patrick Madrid of similar title as this post's. I wanted to let folks know I have new stuff up on the papacy at Apologize and Don't Be Sorry. Enjoy.

"In Extremis"
In sacramental parlance that phrase refers to a Sacrament given in extreme circumstances, usually meaning the recipient is in some danger of death. Today I administered the Sacrament of Confirmation to a young parishioner, a ten year old boy named Edgar Rodriguez who has brain cancer. Luckily, when the brain tumor was found, surgeons were able to remove all of it. However, the type of cancer he has is known to spread its cells out and so he must endure a tough period of treatments. He is currently four weeks into daily (Monday through Friday) radiation treatments. He has two weeks remaining of that. After a six week break, he will require chemotherapy for one year. By the time this ordeal is complete, it will probably have been a year and a half battle to get rid of the disease trying to kill him. His prognosis is good, but, let's face it, to beat this disease requires that the boy be filled with poisons and it will be a very hard year and more for him. He certainly is a candidate for in extremis Sacraments, even if we expect his eventual recovery.

I am sharing this experience because it is a significant event in these first months of my service as pastor of the parish. That I am this boy's pastor means I have a more clear responsibility for him and I think that has made the whole emotional experience of this even more raw for me. I have been rather surprised at my personal reaction to this situation. Let me see if I can explain.

All of the treatments from surgery to radiation to eventual chemotherapy require the boy and his family to travel to Oklahoma City (more than four hours from here). They are living in the Ronald McDonald House during his treatments. The family is originally from Mexico and the parents speak no English. They have no insurance and no bank account. You don't need me to dwell on the financial crisis of this matter. I have feared that the parents, speaking no English, and having to reside now in a large and foreign city, do not fully understand the doctors, the boy's diagnosis, prognosis and treatment. The hospital does provide translators, but there are not many and I wonder if all the necessary information is getting to this family. I have tried to intervene to give them some resources in Oklahoma City (including Catholic Charities) so that they are not so lost and alone. In addition, when I make trips to Oklahoma City for business, I generally stop in at the hospital to visit the family just before or after the radiation treatments.

Last week it really hit me hard. The boy is really weak now. He has lost his hair and his complexion is very ashen and pale. He has this blank, empty stare on his face that occasionally is chased away when he forces a smile. I gave him Holy Communion last week and, after departing the family's company, as I walked back to my car, I sort of broke down. I just sat in my car crying. Even though I had just given him the most that anyone could give him (The Body and Blood of Jesus), the thought in my sad heart was, "There is nothing I can do for him." Certainly I know the value of prayer and the Sacraments, and I believe in them, but in that moment it was irrational emotion that came to the surface. I also found myself thinking, "I can't imagine what a parent with a very sick child must go through." A wise, older priest, with whom I shared this experience, said to me, "Oh, but you can. You are experiencing it right now. The boy's parents may experience this in a way you cannot, but you also are experiencing this in a way they cannot." In other words, as his pastor, I am the boy's spiritual father and my hopes and dreams for this kid are threatened too by the ravages of his disease.

So, today, following the Spanish Mass, I administered to Edgar the Sacraments of Confirmation and Anointing of the Sick. He was home from the hospital for the weekend and so this opportunity allowed many of his family, friends, and parishioners to be present for this important moment "in extremis." Prayers for Edgar are most welcome!

A Priest's Glove Box
Just moments ago I was refilling my small zip-loc bag of cotton balls that I keep in the glove box of my car, when I began to wonder if people might find the contents of my glove box odd. Other than the car owner's manual and the insurance verification form, my glove box contains a small bag of cotton balls, a mini-priest stole, a small ritual for anointings, a small vile of Oil of the Sick, an empty pyx with a purificator in a little case, and a small laminated sign reading "Emergency: Clergy on Call". All of these items are for use in sacramental emergencies (The cotton balls? That's for cleansing my thumb after administering an anointing.) but might seem a bit out of place in a glove box. But one must always be prepared... Christ comes in some unexpected ways and he has shown that he isn't adverse to appearing in the midst of often messy human life.

Very disappointing
I have never watched an episode of "Crossing Jordan" before this evening. I probably won't watch it again. It was very disappointing.

I returned to the rectory today and my associate pastor informed me that the television wasn't working. With little knowledge of how it works, I simply turned off the digital cable box and turned it back on, hoping that would fix things. It eventually did and the show that was just beginning was "Crossing Jordan." Since a priest was featured in the opening scene, I was lured in to see how the Church would be portrayed. For those who were blessed to miss the episode, here is a synopsis. A dead woman is found outside of a Boston Catholic Church. The associate pastor had discovered her. The lead female character of the show (sorry, I don't know her name, but she is a detective) knows the associate pastor, a former high school boyfriend. She asks him if he knows any reason why the woman, a parishioner, might have been killed. He says he cannot respond to the question due to the sacramental seal of confession.

I was impressed for most of the show that the sacramental seal was kept and was not totally mocked, though it was certainly not well understood. There was some scandal in the show, because it seemed a priest may have been involved in an adulterous affair with the dead parishioner. The lead female detective suspected the young priest, her old boyfriend. The twist came at the end, when the pastor's drug overdose turned suspicion toward him, suspicion which turned out to be valid. However, my main disappointment came with the very end. The whole adultery, murder, and suicide plot had been developed and resolved. And what did they do in the final moments of the episode? The young associate re-enters the scene, this time not in collar, and drops the bombshell that the "collar feels like a noose now" and gives strong hints that he may be leaving the priesthood. It seems he had been the confessor for both the dead woman and his pastor, knowing their sin together, but due to the seal, willing to allow suspicion to rest on him. Why did they have to take that route? The young priest's future in ministry, or lack thereof, had no bearing on the show's plot whatsoever. Why couldn't they just leave well enough alone and end the show with crime scene resolved? Aaagggghhhhh!

And by the way, if you saw the show, the knowledge we gained at the end of the episode, makes me think back to other parts of the episode and wonder whether the young priest was really keeping the sacramental seal to begin with. If he served as the confessor for both the woman and his pastor, why did he then go out to dinner with the woman in question? It certainly must have been in connection with the confession. Did he speak of what he heard from his pastor? Did he discuss what the woman had told him in the confessional? Even that is breaking the seal, albeit with the very person who confessed, but the seal is that sacred. And the uncollared young priest, when both penitents are now dead, does speak of their confessions. That's a no, no, folks! The seal is sacred and totally inviolable and cannot be revealed even if the offenders are dead. And one final gripe, the young priest reveals that after hearing the woman's confession regarding her adultery, he told her that she had to tell her husband. Now, that is certainly contrary to the formation I received regarding the Sacrament of Confession. My formators told my class that one could not reasonably assign a penance that requires the penitent to reveal his sin. With penances like that, what would be the point of the seal anyway?

Sketchy Notes for Spiritual Direction

I was reviewing that previous post where I went ga-ga over the prospect of having a new spiritual director. Many people had mentioned the need to find a spiritual director and for various reasons for their failures. I thought in my Friday afternoon haze to string together some thoughts on the nature of Spiritual Direction. However, I would invite Fr. H to put in a companion article to this, given his S.T.L. is in Spiritual Theology.

First, a key distinction needs to be made. Spiritual Direction is not psychological counseling nor is it making a new friend. Spiritual Direction is the process by which one discerns the movement of God in your life. There might be areas which are touched by psychological experience but that is not the thrust of the conversation. It sounds simple but it has two primary thrusts. On the one hand, in spiritual direction, the directee reveals everything about their efforts to follow the Gospel thus far. The emphasis here is upon particular sins and shortcomings. On the other hand, spiritual direction is an exercise in trying to better discern, concretely, what God's will is for you in a more positive mode. This is the sense of "what should I do now, Lord." Some authors refer to this aspect as discernment of spirits and there is nothing wrong with that language.

Okay, how does one find spiritual direction? Here's what I recommend. First, pray that God will arrange for you to find a spiritual director and that you will be compliant with this director. After all, if the director is doing his job correctly, that's God speaking even if he is using the director's words. Second, anyone who wants to find a spiritual director should find a regular confessor. It is a good way to begin to celebrate the sacrament with more regularity and then it also helps you to find someone to whom you are comfortable revealing your soul. After some time with a particular confessor, you might have found your director. Third, don't be afraid to ask questions of this person, especially as it relates to their spiritual life. If they are pursuing holiness in a vigorous way, then they are better able to lead you. Also, personality conflicts are real and can inhibit the process. Don't be afraid to shop around a little. On the flip side, be cautious about selecting someone who is making you feel good but is full of ... well, you know. In the seminary, for what it's worth, after one bad experience, I never, ever selected the most popular director. Just didn't work.... Fourth, following St. Teresa of Avila's advice, if you must choose between a pious director and an intelligent one, always pick the intelligent one. An intelligent one, in her opinion, is more likely to be able to steer you clear of deceptions and other spiritual dangers. Fifth, know when to say when. No spiritual direction relationship lasts forever. Sixth, your spiritual director, in most cases, needs to be a priest. This is not to deingrate the work of religious; it is the close correction of direction to the Sacrament of Penance.

Hope this helps...

Ridding Myself of Roommates

If you are surprised to find out that I had roommates here in the rectory at Alva, trust me when I say, that no one was as surprised as I. But you can put down the notepad and desist your letter to the Archbishop because it's completely harmless and completely taken care of.

My housekeeper one evening as she was finishing up the housework told me that she had found mouse droppings scattered around the kitchen. "Great," I thought, "filthy vermin in the house...." As it turned out there were two mice in the house, one upstairs and one downstairs. Apparently, my rectory is some sort of rodent sublet. Through a little patience and in one case, using C.S.I. techniques to identify a peach pit that had moved and looking for tell-tale signs of rodent chewing so that I could bait the trap, both rodents are dead and gone. And no, I didn't anoint them or give them funeral rites. They went straight into the trash.

To answer the burning question on everyone's mind, I did dispatch the little critters using glue traps, which, by the way, are not any more humane than a spring trap. In fact, I would go so far as to say, the spring traps are more humane. Granted that they weren't eating much, here are two words which justify my actions: hanta virus.

Need two more? How about "bubonic plague"?

A Little Something For My Brother Priests

With the Year of the Holy Eucharist fast upon us, I have been working up some ideas for the parish to mark this special celebration. As I sat around and thought about it, I realized that I had left myself out of the calculation. I started to ask myself how I personally was going to observe the special pontifical year. Here's my first idea.

Traditionally, there are a set of prayers a priest should say as he is vesting and preparing to celebrate Mass. I typed these up and placed a set in the sacristy of each of my missions so that I can more deeply engage the Sacred Mysteries. I reprint them here for the benefit of my brother priests:

The Washing of Hands Before Mass:
Give virtue, O Lord, to my hands, that every stain may be wiped away; that I may be enabled to serve you without defilement of mind or body.

The Amice:
Place, O Lord, on my head the helmet of salvation, that I may overcome the assaults of the devil.

The Alb:
Purify me, Lord, from all stain and cleanse my heart, that, washed in the blood of the Lamb, I may enjoy eternal delights.

The Cincture:
Gird me, O Lord, with the cincture of purity, and quench in my heart the fire of concupiscence, that the virtue of continence and chastity may remain in me.

The Stole:
Restore to me, O Lord, the state of immortality which was lost to me by my first parents, and, although I am unworthy to approach your sacred mysteries, grant me nevertheless eternal joy.

The Chasuble:
O Lord, who said, "My yoke is sweet and my burden light," grant that I may carry it so as to obtain your grace.

Statement of Intention:
My purpose is to celebrate Mass and to make present the Body and Blood of our Lord Jesus Christ according to the Rite of the Holy Roman Church to the praise of our all-powerful God and all His assembly in the glory of heaven, for my good and the good of all his pilgrim Church on earth, and for all who have asked me to pray for them in general and in particular, and for the good of the Holy Roman Church.
May the almighty and merciful Lord grant us joy and peace, amendment of life, room for true repentance, the grace and comfort of the Holy Spirit, and perseverance in good works.

Prayer to My Sorrowful Mother by St. Alphonsus Liguori

My sorrowful Mother, by the merit of that grief which you felt at seeing your beloved Jesus led to death, obtain for me the grace to bear with patience those crosses which God sends me. I will be fortunate if I also shall know how to accompany you with my cross until death. You and Jesus, both innocent, have borne a heavy cross; and shall I, a sinner who has merited Hell, refuse mine? Immaculate Virgin, I hope you will help me to bear my crosses with patience. Amen.

Our Lady of Sorrows



In contrast to many homespun images of the saints and Our Savior, traditionally, these images and icons have been very dour as a rule, almost emotionless. When emotions are displayed, it is of sadness or wonder/shock. Unfortunately, modernity has to put a smiley face on everything. This is source, in my opinion, of the death of Western culture, a denial of the transitory nature of things and the rejection of Christian faith. So you see all these images of Our Lord smiling or kicking a soccer ball like he was trying out for World Cup 2006. This world we pass though is a lovely place, created in goodness and destined for goodness, but it is passing away. The death of each one of us is a world passing away, an hour that the Lord has come to visit and bring His truthful judgment.

Yesterday, we celebrated the Exultation of the Holy Cross. Today, we celebrate the icon of the Church who participates in this wonderous Cross, Our Blessed Mother. In a certain sense, every form of holiness that the Church can demonstrate to the world is found in the Glorious Virgin. She is evangelist and missionary when she carries the Word to Elizabeth. She is "pastor" when she tends her child and rears him in wisdom and charity. She is the Premier Doctor of the Church when she illuminates all truths surrounding the Christ with the humble words, "Do whatever He tells you." She is virgin without parallel; she is mother without equal amongst all the women on earth. She is even a martyr, although in the "white" sense rather than the literal "red," shedding of her blood sense. The following comes from St. Bernard of Clairvaux:

The martyrdom of the Virgin is set forth both in the prophecy of Simeon and in the actual story of our Lord’s passion. The holy old man said of the infant Jesus: He has been established as a sign which will be contradicted. He went on to say to Mary: And your own heart will be pierced by a sword.Truly, O blessed Mother, a sword has pierced your heart. For only by passing through your heart could the sword enter the flesh of your Son. Indeed, after your Jesus - who belongs to everyone, but is especially yours - gave up his life, the cruel spear, which was not withheld from his lifeless body, tore open his side. Clearly it did not touch his soul and could not harm him, but it did pierce your heart. For surely his soul was no longer there, but yours could not be torn away. Thus the violence of sorrow has cut through your heart, and we rightly call you more than martyr, since the effect of compassion in you has gone beyond the endurance of physical suffering.Or were those words, Woman, behold your Son, not more than a word to you, truly piercing your heart, cutting through to the division between soul and spirit? What an exchange! John is given to you in place of Jesus, the servant in place of the Lord, the disciple in place of the master; the son of Zebedee replaces the Son of God, a mere man replaces God himself. How could these words not pierce your most loving heart, when the mere remembrance of them breaks ours, hearts of iron and stone though they are!Do not be surprised, brothers, that Mary is said to be a martyr in spirit. Let him be surprised who does not remember the words of Paul, that one of the greatest crimes of the Gentiles was that they were without love. That was far from the heart of Mary; let it be far from her servants.Perhaps someone will say: “Had she not known before that he would not die?” Undoubtedly. “Did she not expect him to rise again at once?” Surely. “And still she grieved over her crucified Son?” Intensely. Who are you and what is the source of your wisdom that you are more surprised at the compassion of Mary than at the passion of Mary’s Son? For if he could die in body, could she not die with him in spirit? He died in body through a love greater than anyone had known. She died in spirit through a love unlike any other since his.

She is a woman full of sorrows as well. The earthly life of the Blessed Virgin must have been perplexing at best. In Faith, Humility, and Obedience, she comes forward and gives herself to every working of this plan of salvation. Only a course intellect could not help but see how this sorrow of the Mother continues today. Just as Christ can be said to suffer in and through the members of the Body, so too the Mother wails and mourns and intercedes for those in whom her Son is being brought to full maturity. All those people who are baptized but have aborted the gift of grace by never learning more about or loving more perfectly in this life the One who saved them must cause our Blessed Mother such sadness. What of us who profess the Faith but refuse its penetration into the craggy, foul, rotten, bone shopped hearts of ours? She sees one coming so close and then veering away back into darkness.

But confidence can be found here as well. Mary remained at the foot of the Cross. She remains at the foot of our Cross. If we entrust ourselves to her maternal care, we can find our way back to Christ.

When a well-meaning Protestant walks up and asks, "Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior?", you can respond, "Yes. Have you accepted Mary as your personal Mother and Intercessor?"

My apologies if this is too long. I am down with allergies assault or a late summer cold. I didn't get the chance to preach today and some of this occurred to me in prayer. It should go without saying that incomplete thoughts and typos are the fault of Nyquil...for a change.

More Ridiculous ... um ... stuff
Yesterday as I was driving on parish business with one of the other parish priests, we were listening to a radio call-in talk show. The subject that the host invited people to discuss was the following:

A person called the police because they thought someone was trying to break into their home. The police arrived and saw a man that looked like he was trying to break into the home in question. The police officer ten started to give chase to the suspect, but failed to notice the small fence around part of the yard and tripped, breaking his wrist. The police officer is now suing the property owner for $750,000 for the injury.

I share the talk show host's opinion: uh? Aren't the police suppose to "Protect and Serve the Public"? Don't they realize that police work may be dangerous? What if the officer was chasing a suspect down a city road and tripped in a pothole, would he be able to sue the city roads department?

When I mentioned this incident to another priest friend, he asked if a person could really sue for something like that, and of course you can pretty much file a lawsuit over anything. Whether you win is another matter, but sadly I fear that these types of lawsuits are too frequently decided more on emotion than reason. Juries often "feel" sorry for the victim, and just write it off as "its just an insurance company" that will have to pay. Another example of people not being able to look to see the consequences of their actions, for of course, the insurance companies just pass these costs onto the policy holders by increasing premiums. A few years ago, in Philadelphia, a jury awarded a woman who claimed to be a psychic several millions of dollars in damages after she claimed that dye contrast of a medical test destroyed her psychic ability, thus her income, and that the doctors and technicians had failed to adequately warn her that this was a possibility. Fortunately in that case the presiding judge had a brain and he liked to exercise this spiritual power we like to call the Intellect, for the judge set aside the jury's decision saying that there was no foundation for it in law nor fact since there was no proof that the woman ever had psychic powers. Basically the jury just felt sorry for her.

I feel sorry for people too. Some are in very unfortunate circumstances, and sometimes it is not even their fault. However, our society has to be based on reasonableness. Now I am not advocating a rigid, modernistic concept of reason as the only source of knowledge. I firmly hold that the Intellect (as is the Will) is a spiritual faculty/power, that is informed both by the senses (which include emotions) and Faith. Sadly it seems to me that in our society today emotivism is the primary basis for decision making, and not Reason, informed by Faith.

CATHOLIC CELIAC SOCIETY

Still wishing I knew how to just make the title a link to the website... in my diocesan paper there is a very nice article about the above named society which stives to:

1. Educate Catholics with Celiac disease about their options for Holy Communion as provided by Canon Law and the USCCB.
2. Educate Catholic clergy and Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion about the special needs of Catholics with celiac disease.
3. To help reconcile Catholics with celiac disease who have left the Church because of exclusion from the Eucharist hosts.

There was also an article about the extremely low-gluten hosts now approved and available from the Benedictine Sisters of Perpetual Adoration in Clyde, MO. These hosts have gained the support of Gluten-FREE Living, after they were thoroughly tested by medical experts from the Center for Celiac Research at the University of Maryland. The experts found that a person with celiac disease could easily consume one of these hosts daily without any medical complications; in fact they would need to consume 270 of the hosts daily before having a reaction.

For more information on the Catholic Celiac Society, please visit: www.catholicceliacs.org or call 914-737-5291.

CRM Business
You know, I check CRM nearly everyday, and while I have looked at the links on the right-hand side of the screen, even visited several of them, I never paid any attention to the "Support this Site" link. When did we get T-shirts, mugs, baby bibs, and messenger bags? And how do I get my mug on a mug, or T-shirt, let alone the header picture? Just kidding! I just never noticed it before. Also, there are the two coffee sites, Pura Vida and the one I recommended through Catholic Relief Services. Both are basically selling Fair Trade Coffee; I just happened to notice that the same coffee is nearly half price through CRS; hmmm, I suspect someone is making some other bucks!

Our monks would protest as well, but they aren't supposed to leave the monastery...

Is the Joker on Vacation?

Things that make me go 'Hmm...'

I would never wish to minimize anyone's pain and suffering, but when I see a report like this I start to scratch my head. I don't puzzle over this late round of claims because I know that to reveal abuse and to come forward takes quite a bit of psychological strength. The reason for my puzzlement is the inset picture accompanying this article. What is the photo layout guy trying to say? My initial thought when I saw the title of the article and then the picture was these allegations were an effort to stop parish closings. Yes, I know that technically that doesn't make any sense, it was the strange non-sequitur my brain generated.

What to make of this remains to be seen. I do know that I need to write a little something on reform in the Church but don't know where to start yet. Stay Tuned.

Can Anything Good Come from Toronto?

The answer is an enthusiatic "yes". 'Tis a pity more Catholic journalists in the U.S. don't let their papal flag fly, rather than hanging out their respective freak flag.

Success in a new pastoral initiative!
You have read Fr. Tharp's and my postings on the meeting of our deanery (a region of the larger diocese) back in June, at which we discussed an idea the Archbishop presented to the priests a couple of years ago. It is fairly common for a parish to have a large Penance Rite in Advent and again in Lent. Many visiting priests are brought in for those rites so that many, many confessions can be heard over the course of a few hours in one evening. The Penance Rites seem to be well-used by people, it seems to get people to come, especially those who don't make the effort to come at the confession times regularly offered by the parish each week. So, the Archbishop's suggestion was that we capitalize on the success of Penance Rites and have them more often, perhaps quarterly, rather than just in Advent and Lent. At the time of that suggestion, I remember filing it away for a day when I would be pastor. The other priests in this deanery also thought the Archbishop's suggestion was worth trying. So, last night was the first attempt at a quarterly Penance Rite. We did this experiment at one of the parishes in this deanery, with the view that later it could be duplicated in the other parishes if it showed promise or was a success from the get-go.

Well, I would characterize last night a pastoral success! Four of us priests in this deanery got together and at least 25-30 people showed up. Now that is far less than typically come in Advent and Lent, and no where near the number of people that should be coming to confession. However, if you consider that hearing about 5 confessions is average (at least in these parts) for any one priest in his parish on Saturday afternoon before Holy Mass, we basically duplicated 5 to 6 Saturday afternoons in one fell swoop last night. The whole rite took about an hour, with readings, songs, gospel and a brief homily, before the individual confessions began. I think it will be well worth trying in each parish of the deanery, and maybe it will take on throughout the diocese. I am thinking of writing a brief article on it for our diocesan newspaper so that other priests might hear of this and consider it again.

Burger King Bill of Rights
Over the past few weeks, the convergence of my own thoughts with some remarks on the blog about the Burger King "Have it your way" mentality has led me to this post. It all started some weeks ago on a trip to Oklahoma City. I stopped in Burger King to have a quick lunch before continuing on the road. As I enjoyed my lunch, I glanced up at the wall and noticed a large poster bearing the title of this post. I read it in my solo-lunch-boredom and found myself laughing on the inside at the utter stupidity of the poster. Of course, I shared the account of the idiotic poster with Fr. Tharp. And, then, only days later, Fr. Garrett made some remarks in a post about the ego-centric, rugged individualism, evident in the "Have it your way" mentality. So, I vowed to get a copy of the Burger King Bill of Rights so it could be shared on the blog.

When I next visited Burger King, I was going to ask how to get a copy of the poster. But I chickened out, not wanting to look so desperate as to have my own copy. So, like a total nerd (yes, I know, that is usually Fr. Tharp's department!), I took a pad of paper into Burger King and, as I waited for my order to be called, I began to write down in shorthand the Bill of Rights. I was very pleased, however, when I glanced down at my tray of food and noticed that the complete Bill of Rights had been printed as a placemat. That sure saved a great amount of time! So, here it is, the Burger King Bill of Rights:

You have the right to have things your way. You have the right to hold the pickles and hold the lettuce. You have the right to mix Coke and Sprite. You have the right to a Whopper sandwich with extra tomato, extra onion and triple cheese. You have the right to have that big meal sleepy feeling when you're finished. You have the right to put a paper crown on your head and pretend you're the ruler of "your make-believe kingdom here." You have the right to have your chicken fire grilled or fried. You have the right to dip your fries in ketchup, mayonnaise, BBQ sauce or mustard. Or not. You have the right to laugh until soda explodes from your nose. You have the right to stand up and fight for what you believe in. You have the right to sit down and do nothing. You have the right to eat a hot and juicy fire-grilled burger prepared just the way you like. You have the right to crumple this Bill of Rights into a ball and shoot hoops with it.

And then I discovered that apparently there had a been a plenary assembly of the franchise, what we might call the First Continental Congress of Burger King, at which certain amendments were made to the Bill of Rights, because more wording appeared on my drink cup:

Maybe you want a lot of ice. Maybe you want no ice. Maybe you want your top securely fastened, or maybe you want to go topless. Hmmm? Maybe you want to mix Coke and Sprite. Maybe you want to let your cup runneth over (we wish you wouldn't). Whatever you do, make sure to have things your way.

The emphasis in the above is mine. Now, I know this is just a silly ad campaign for a burger joint. I could certainly be accused of making too much of a small matter. But what struck me about this moronic Bill of Rights was two things: (1) the reality of the ego-centric, selfish, rugged individualism at the foundation of the Bill. A reality that ad people obviously recognize because they appeal to it, knowing it will speak to people of today and, when joined with Burger King, it will sell burgers and fries; and, (2) the strange admixture of silly personal preferences in the realm of hamburgers with more general (highlighted above) tendencies to view the world as a purely subjective matter of personal preference. Notice the highlighted phrases speak to much larger matters, as if each of us has the right to have things our way, as if standing up and fighting for one's beliefs has anything to do with what one is having for lunch. The end product is that I am my own sovereign and no one can tell me what to do. It's all about me, me, me. And furthermore, things that really should be fought for, things that require dedication and sacrifice, are so trivialized in this Bill of Rights (by being juxtapositioned with soda and hamburger choices) that they ultimately mean nothing.

That's my commentary. At the end of that meal, at which I got my copy of the Bill, I then attempted to put a lid on my soda cup. I picked the lid from the appropriate bin for medium drinks and it wouldn't fit on the cup. The next size up was too large. So, I had to mangle the lid to get it to go on. It took a strong act of will, having been armed with "my rights," to avoid the temptation to go up to the counter with my misfit lid and demand that it be made to fit my cup. And when they might have suggested a new lid, I was fully prepared to demand my rights that I want THIS lid to fit. I want it my way! Anyway, I didn't make things ugly for them. Burger King is still better than McDonald's (as far as food goes. I have no idea about the democratic principles of McD's), I will still eat there, and if you disagree with me, you are wrong!

A Revelation of the Value of Kindness

For the other brother priests in this deanery of ours, they are having a quarterly deanery meeting. As for me, I am home preparing for a funeral that came up unexpectedly. Then again, they all come up unexpectedly.

The woman in question who died was related to pratically everyone in Alva and died after a series of prolonged injuries and illnesses. It turns out that she was related to a priest who served under Archbishop Beltran when he was the ordinary of the diocese of Tulsa, OK. His excellency called me this morning and asked me to extend his condolences to the family of this woman's family.

Some folks reading this would say, "So what?" But the Archbishop took the time to let me know to let them know they were being remembered by the Church particular. This act of simple consideration and kindness in someone else's time of need is a basic example of how unremarkable living the Catholic Faith can be and yet how effective to make the presence of Christ known.

Get Down! Boogie -- oogie -- oogie!

I am sooooo jazzed. I just got off the phone with, hopefully, my new spiritual director. His name is Fr. John Lanzrath and he is a priest of the diocese of Wichita. I tried to find spiritual direction in my own diocese but was largely unsuccessful. I think that it is better to have a degree of separation of your director from the diocese in which one lives. It gives better objectivity and less temptation to sink into old inter-diocesan arguments.

I have been looking for so long and now that I have found one I just could jump out of my skin. He and I have agreed to a three-month probation period to see if we are a good fit and all that. My first appointment is on September 24.

Spiritual Direction is so important for priests and religious and even the average Catholic although for the beginner a lot of that can be covered in the Sacrament of Penance through a regular Confessor. I am looking forward to this like you can't imagine. Please pray for my new director when you get the chance.

From my "turn-about is fair play" files

AGAIN?!

While the West Indies might be nice for a vacation, I would never live there. Manhatten is another story...any offers?

Notes From Life Among the Putatively Catholic

Movie Spoiler Warning

I really like Shymalan's movies, especially The Sixth Sense, but in the best interest of the movie watching audience I have to reveal the big twist in his most recent movie, The Village. This means if you haven't seen it, and you don't want the experience ruined, then close your eyes and scroll down. Do it now.


Okay, everyone else want to know what the big secret is? The Construction Worker and The Indian are responsible for everything.

COMMUNION CONTROVERSY, STUPID PRESS, TAKE 2
If you don't know what Communion controversy I am talking about, check the archives for this site, I need to work on a homily so I must keep my blogging short today. Let us just say that Cardinal Ratzinger's office has sided with my Bishop, that rice hosts are not valid matter, and no matter how much the mother or daughter "believe" it is Jesus' Body and Blood, it ain't so.

I was informed by reliable sources, though I did not read the article myself (couldn't find the paper), that a local newspaper reported that my Bishop was "summoned" to the Vatican to make an accounting of this controversy. Well, I guess is some fashion you can say that the Bishop was "summoned" to Rome, but not for the reason implied by the article. Bishop Smith left for Rome to make his ad limina visit, the planning for which has been going on for a year or so. I am sure that the Communion controversy will come up in some of his meetings with the dicasteries, but that is not the reason he is there.

Just another example of trying to make something out of nothing, in order to criticize the Church.

You knew it would come to this...

When I found a quiz to determine your Star Trek race, I had to take it. I like to think that I am Benzite or perhaps a little Klingon, but the quiz disagreed...


You're a Cardassian! Intelligent and devious,
you're a bit of an enigma to those around you
and scientific to the core.

What Star Trek Race Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

This is mildly disagreeable, but on the other hand, those neck ridges would have a slimming effect.

Round Two of Submissions

Well, I am the glutton for punishment I guess. I just sent out two copies of the Borromeo Project for consideration. Our two targets were Ascension Press and St. Joseph's Communications. I must admit, if this kind of stress, submitting manuscripts and then waiting for the inevitable "It's good, but not publishable good" letters, is normal for professional writers, then I am pleased as punch to be a priest. Yet another golden lining discovered.

So, you know the drill. If God wants this to spread, He will allow it. But please pray that I will be able to hold my sanity together in the mean time.

SACRAMENTS OF HEALING
Of course the oil is still wet on my hands, so I am still in the honeymoon of being ordained a priest, but I have really been coming to enjoy the sacraments of healing; Anointing of the Sick, and Reconciliation. The parish I serve at is responsible for covering a local hospital, so we take turns carrying the beeper. While it is not the busiest hospital in the world, I have gotten a fair amount of experience visiting the sick. It can truly be a humbling time, to be with a family in a time of crisis, to help a suffering person unite themselves more fully with Christ Crucified and there find strength & consolation. Of course, Anointing of the Sick is a sacrament which could use a lot of catechesis. The biggest issue is "Oh Father, I don't want Last Rites." Yes, there are times when a person sees me walk into their room and a panic look crosses their face, like "crap, what didn't the doctor tell me?" Of course the Church does offer prayers and sacraments (e.g. Viaticum) for those who are facing death immeniently. I have found that the family can be consoled much by gathering them to pray with the dying person. Be sure to tell someone that you want the Apostolic Blessing, which, if you are properly disposed, not only forgives all your sins but also frees you from all temporal punishment due to sin. In other words, no Purgatory; express to Heaven (of course that "properly disposed"-part is important). One of the heartbreaks surrounding my grandmother's death a few years ago (besides the priest showing up in tennis shorts and a golf shirt; I'm glad I could identify him as a priest b/c not many in my family could), was that he had no idea what the Apostolic Blessing was. Fortunately the permanent deacon who was in charge of the Pastoral Care office had the book, "Pastoral Care of the Sick" so he loaned it to Father.

Another joy of my assignment is the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Have I mentioned how blessed I am to be assigned to the parish I am at? My diocese can be rather liberal, and Reconciliation is probably offered at most parishes here for maybe an hour each week. St. James is one of the more traditional parishes and we hear confessions EVERYDAY, except Sunday. In fact we have three scheduled times for Confessions on Saturdays, and for 1.5 hours on Saturdays there are 2 priests hearing confessions. You know what? We are rarely slow. We probably average a half dozen confessions each day, and 4 or 5 times that on Saturdays. While of course we have some people who suffer from scruples, most of the penitents are truly examining their lives, seeing how they have failed to live their Christian lives as they should, and are turning to our merciful Lord for forgiveness and the grace to do better. Obviously I cannot say much about what happens when a person is in the confessional, but I can say I find a true joy to welcome back someone who has been away from the sacraments, the Church, for many years. Most of the people, at least 95%, go "behind the screen" so they do not see how often I am almost moved to tears as they throw themselves before the mercy of God.

God is so good!

Just Stop Whining Already!

Since Fr. Hamilton continues to obsess over the size of the sidebar, it makes you wonder what kind of deficiency he might be compensating for, I will try something that just occurred to me as a solution. So if you have been a referring website, I thank you for your linkage and support but I might lose the reference when I attempt to fix this little problem of Fr. H's

That reminds me. If you link us, we will happily link you. If you don't see us on the sidebar, just drop me a line and I will get it on there.

Update: I tried to uninstall and then reinstall the sidebar monitor, but it didn't work. I don't know when the offending link will finally disappear, but until then we just have to lump it.

A Modest Tribute

I am not one given to sentimentality. Occasionally, though, a watershed moment occurs and it forces me to take a step back and look back upon the wide sweep of personal history.

When I met David J. Walker, I was still in the seminary. It was at the Easter Vigil, I think, but it might have been Christmas Midnight Mass. I recall the bells coming apart at the seams. Literally, they fell out of their respective sockets and shot all over the floor. There was a problem with the incense and the books...so it must have been the Vigil. Anyway, after the liturgy we struck up a conversation and given that Dave lived only a few blocks from the church, I went over for coffee. The chat lasted until the wee hours of the morning.

From there a friendship blossomed. Since I have the time, I can tell you how fast food almost caused Dave and I to freeze to death, but perhaps another time. Dave's hospitality and friendship have been a refuge to me in the years that I have known. Indispensable is the word that leaps to mind. In this time of friendship, I have encountered a person who doesn't give himself nearly the credit he deserves. He is of relentless service to the children of Edmond as a teacher of excellent quality. He demonstrates the unflagging desire to follow Christ, despite the setbacks we all suffer. He warmly and easily shows how to care for those who are in need, even to opening in home to them. And he turned me into a soccer and chess enthusiast which is saying a lot. In short, he has been an example and a witness to me.

Today is Dave's 40th birthday. His co-workers, I am certain, will have the usual, tasteless "Over-the-Hill" themed crap. Many folks treat their 40th as a tombstone. But you know, how we Christians are with tombstones; we let Christ overturn them. As a little lift, please take a spin past his not-frequently-updated-enough-for-my-taste blog, Davetown.

Happy Birthday, Buddy. It's a pity you aren't my biological brother; I could have used one like you growing up.

True Example of Time Well-Spent

Well, all I can say is nobody taught us anything like this in the seminary.

My thanks to Saintly Salamagundi for this bit of levity.

Amber Alert!

I received an email from Annie at After Abortion concerning an amber alert released in her area. Here's the information:

Nationwide Amber Alert just issued, from Connecticut, but they could be outside this state by now: One-year old girl, possibly with 2 people in a red Chevy Blazer, 1996 year, license 878-SJD, coming out of the Hartford, CT area, so they could be in MA, RI, Vermont, Maine, NH, NY or NJ by now, or even beyond. She has brown hair, blue eyes, weighs 18 pounds. PLEASE CALL Connecticut STATE POLICE TOLL-FREE AT 1-800-842-0200. The adults she may be with are named David Bell and Faith (or Fay) Bennett. This is related to a fatal stabbing that occurred late last night.

Thanks for any assistance you can give, especially in the form of spiritual intercession.

MORE "BURGER KING" CATHOLICISM
One of the things that many priests told me before I was ordained was that they would rather do 10 funerals than 1 wedding. I always thought that this was a bit odd, but I tucked it away as something to evaluate once I became a priest. While I am not yet at a point to concur with my priestly brothers' opinion, I am starting to appreciate why this is the case. For funerals the family are understandably mourning the loss of a loved one. The grief and shock of the death, plus all the decisions that seem to need to be made "right now," often leaves them wanting someone to tell them what to do, so when you sit down to plan the funeral Mass (or, what seems to becoming more popular here in NJ to my displeasure, a service at the funeral home) the families often are very willing to let you guide them in what to do. Of course the one exception is the question of eulogies, but even that is often easily address so that something consistent with the Church's Burial Rites and tasteful is done.

Things are often different with weddings. Often couples want everything to be done THEIR WAY, because it is their day. It can be worse if they have heard that THEY are the ministers of the sacrament, not the priest (which is correct, but that only emphasizes why it is so important for them to be PROPERLY FORMED so that they know what they are doing when they administer the sacrament to each other). One of the accretions (and VCII did want us to remove much of the accretions) which has been "added" to the marriage ritual is the Unity Candle. The lore is that the Unity Candle was first used on some soap opera 30 or 40 years ago and being that so many people take TV to be the source of behavioral guidance more that they do the teachings of Jesus Christ, everybody then "needed" a Unity Candle at their wedding. Since this was right at the time when too many priests were following a misguided sense of what being "pastoral" meant, they just went along with whatever the couple once ("after all, they might leave the Church if we say no," which of course most of these couples did anyway, de facto, by contracepting and aborting their children mostly so life could be more "convenient" and they could get more things; yet I digress).

My Diocese tends to be on the "liberal/progressive" side of things (not to my liking), yet I have been very pleasantly surprised by several "pushes" that the Office of Worship, with of course the backing of my Bishop, have been making. First, they are big time promoting doing RCIA as the Church calls for it to be done, including the fact that the Catechumenate (not including the Inquiry stage) no less than one (1) year so that the Catechumens can receive a more complete proclamation of the Gospel by going thru a complete cycle of Sunday readings. Yet I digress again. Another thing we are trying to stamp out is the Unity candle. We have been told explicitly not to allow it during the wedding ceremony, but rather encourage the couple, if they insist on having one, to using it at the reception. Well, yesterday I met with a couple whose wedding I will be officiating at. Previously I told them that we would not be doing the Unity Candle during the ceremony, but discussed how they could use one at the reception. While the bride at first seemed upset by this, because she had "dreamed" of her wedding for a long time, a patient discussion seemed to get her OK with using the Unity Candle at the reception. Then they met with the person handling the music for their wedding who told them that they had just done a wedding a couple of weeks ago which had a Unity Candle, and that the "new policy" does not take effect until this coming Advent. Even when the couple told them what I had said, the musician said that I was wrong, and then could have a Unity Candle at the ceremony. Apparently most people believe a musician over a priest, so they put it in their program that they would "light the Unity Candle." All my patient instruction was undermined in less than 5 minutes. Now it is the whole "but it is in print" thing. Now, I have never been married, but I do have 2 married sisters and remember their weddings well. There is a lot of stress right before a wedding (hopefully all good stress, but still stress). The last thing a priest wants to do is add to that. They want the ceremony to be a spiritual event that will firmly root the marriage in Christ, so that the marriage can truly be a sacrament in the service of the Church. Of course the expectation is that the Church "should be flexible, and bend the rules." They would never ask that of the municipal clerk's office where they need to get the civil license. "We want it OUR WAY." ugh!

BREAKING NEWS: Part III COUNCIL OF PRIESTS: DECISION 2004
Oklahoma City, OK (AP) -- The Tribunal of the Archdiocese of Oklahoma City did not provide the previously desired channel for justice in yesterday's election to the open seat of the Council of Priests. When presented with the petitioner's briefs regarding voting irregularities and the request to overturn the election, one judge on the Tribunal asked, "What, does this Fr. Hamilton have a marriage case for us to annul? If not, then what is he bothering us for?" The other candidates protesting the election results received similar responses. And since recourse cannot be had to the Church's supreme court, the Roman Rota, due to their cappuccino break, it appears the results of Decision 2004 will stand. The Rev. Don Wolf, the incumbent whose seat was up for election, has won the election and retains his seat on the Council of Priests.

Fr. Hamilton delivered a concession speech via radio moments after the Tribunal's refusal to hear the case: "I thank all of my supporters. These past several days of campaigning have been tiring. Though the outcome is not what we had hoped, there is some sense of relief and mercy that we can bring this to a close. I will continue to serve God's people as I have been called to do and I will continue to be of service in this Archdiocese, though not in an elected capacity. While we may always have some doubts in our minds, while we may always wonder about the rightfully elected priest in this election, I have no doubt -- and nor must you -- that the Holy Spirit can work through whomever sits on the Council, no matter how he got there. And the Holy Spirit, dwelling in us by our Baptism, will continue to work through each of us. God bless you. And God bless the Archdiocese of Oklahoma City!"

Thus concludes this extended thread. The election results are indeed that I am among the three candidates who did not get elected. The Rev. Don Wolf was elected and retains his seat on the Council. Thanks for enjoying the silliness and the humor with us!

Our Lady of Perpetual Help, Pray for Them.

And you should too. This next round is going to look like Romper Room in comparison.

I'd rather risk illness, thanks very much.

Mysterious signals from 1000 light years away�| New Scientist

The truly sad part will be that we will decode these signals only to discover it's an infomercial for their equivalent of the Ab-Blaster.

Accidental Convergence

I was working arranging the third part of the first year of the Borromeo Project, when I stumbled upon a funny convergence in the Catechism and a little bit of my past.

In my younger days, i.e. high school, I flirted with rock groupie status for RUSH. One of their great concept albums was titled 2112. The story line revolved around a totalitarian theocracy which had banned rock music. (Old folks in the back, sit down and stop clapping.) One lone hero discovers an electric guitar and liberates everyone through 3-chord power rock.

As I was working I came across paragraph 2112 of the Catechism. It reads in part: "The first commandment condemns polytheism. It requires man neither to believe in, nor to venerate, other divinities than the one true God. Scripture constantly recalls this rejection of "idols, (of) silver and gold, the work of men's hands. They have mouths, but do not speak; eyes, but do not see." These empty idols make their worshippers empty: "Those who make them are like them; so are all who trust in them." God, however, is the "living God" who gives life and intervenes in history.

The convergence just sort of came to me. In 2112, the lone hero reminds man of his fundamental dignity through the rejection of the theocracy. In paragraph 2112, the Christian is reminded to reject all the false gods and discover his true identity as one created in Love and worship the one, true God. Granted the analogy limps a bit in that you get the impression from the song that somehow rock music is to be the new form of worship, it still is a funny occurance.

BREAKING NEWS: Part II COUNCIL OF PRIESTS: DECISION 2004
Oklahoma City, OK (AP) -- Following the news just hours ago that voting irregularities have been found in the election to the open seat of the Council of Priests, Canon (Church) lawyers have been called upon to represent all candidates. A case is currently before the Tribunal of the Archdiocese of Oklahoma City claiming that Fr. Don Wolf is not the rightful winner of the election, due to the incorrect counting of "glitches" in Miami, Oklahoma. Fr. Hamilton and at least one other candidate have vowed to take this case to the supreme Church court, the Roman Rota at the Vatican.

BREAKING NEWS COUNCIL OF PRIESTS: DECISION 2004
Guymon, OK (AP) -- Early this afternoon, word was beginning to circulate that Rev. Don Wolf, the incumbent, was the winner in a very close race for the open seat on the Council of Priests. Reporters at each candidate's watch party headquarters were preparing for the concession and victory speeches, respectively. Fr. Hamilton, youngest candidate on the ballot, was moments away from the podium where he was to deliver a brief speech conceding the election, thanking his supporters, and asking God's blessing and guidance upon the re-elected incumbent and upon the entire Council.

But then a few hushed whispers were witnessed from campaign directors to Fr. Hamilton. Within seconds, Fr. Hamilton stepped back stage and his Press Secretary emerged. "Reverend Fathers, Religious Sisters, distinguished Knights and Ladies of the Holy Sepulchre, ladies and gentlemen," Sr. Mary Agnes, O.P. said, "we have just received word that some voting irregularities are being reported from Miami, Oklahoma. This leaves the Council of Priests election rather uncertain. Fr. Hamilton spoke earlier by telephone with the apparent victor of the election, Fr. Don Wolf. They exchanged a few brief words and the promise of prayer. This latest news, however, leaves us unsettled. Fr. Hamilton is, at this moment, calling Fr. Wolf again, to express interest in waiting for an official investigation before a victor is declared. He will be with us momentarily. In the meantime... uh, excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, Fr. Hamilton."

At this point Fr. Hamilton stepped to the podium to a very supportive crowd and a spontaneous schola that chanted "Christus Vincit. Christus Regnat. Christus Imperat!" Fr. Hamilton began, "Thank you. Thank you, very much. Please. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Since the close of the polls, we have had some anxious and now tumultuous hours. Admittedly, we are scrambling a bit now, not sure how to proceed. We have learned that voting irregularities are being reported in this election and an official investigation is opening into the matter. To restore a necessary confidence in our voting system, I believe a full investigation should be conducted and completed before a winner is declared in this race. Therefore, I hereby call upon the election commission to do a full recount of this election. Since voting takes place via fax machine, early reports claim that a few electronic glitches caused marks to appear next to different candidates' names, which were incorrectly counted as votes for a wrong candidate. Until this matter is reviewed I believe it would be irresponsible to declare a winner. In addition, my campaign is also calling upon former President Jimmy Carter to come and oversee the process of ballot recounting. This process must be entirely transparent and "above the table" if the matter is to be fairly resolved. Therefore, I thank you all now for your ongoing support and I ask for your patience. We will have another statement shortly."

Fr. Hamilton and his staff quickly left the stage area and the crowd of supporters slowly dissolved, leaving a sea of streamers, large "V"s, and empty offertory envelopes strewn on the ground.

Our Lady of Kazan (Kazanskaya)

For those who have read much concerning the return of this venerable icon but didn't understand what the hubbub was about, consider this post your basic one-stop shopping portal.
I believe this icon also goes by the title, Our Lady of Tenderness, but I could be mixed up.

For history, go here and here.

For the Pope's homily, go here.

For the Pope's letter to Alexei II, the Patriarch of Russia, go here.

For a picture of the icon, go here.

For pictures of the celebration, go here.

Why the Holy Father handed over this icon should be as clear as the beard on my cheeks. "I have become all things to all men, in the hope of winning at least some." In this case, our Holy Father has become one of the Russian people who have looked to Our Lady under this particular invocation and have longed to have returned to them this symbol of their love for the Blessed Mother. He returns this image of wood, gold, and pigment, so that, holding on in the virtue of hope, that the true image of the Son might be reflected in a Body of Christ healed of all divisions.

UPDATE: For a completely different take on this story, go consult the Curt Jester.

I just wanted some Doritos, Officer.

I would think so...

Unless you spew on an Asian dignitary, then everyone has to get involved...

Verifyin' and Testifyin'

Since I missed Zell Miller's speech, except for one part where I was convinced an artery was about to blow, I looked up the speech on line. It is everything that Fr. Hamilton suggested it would be. Link is above.

Monster Rectory?

I was watching a re-run of Monster House on the Discovery Channel when a delicious idea hit me. Why not put my rectory up for this kind of treatment? We could call it the "Monastery House." Unfortunately, they don't accept projects that are more than an hour away from L.A. or Las Vegas. So while I might still send in an application, I don't think we are going to get anywhere with them.

That leaves Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. For that to fly, though, a group of people would have to send in letters, extolling my merits and virtues, as all of you know, I have none, so that's probably right out as well.

Why all of this focus upon re-decorating? Well, let's see...the plaster is sliding off the wall in the downstairs living room due to a leaking roof. The carpet is so old upstairs that I saw a sample of it on the Brady Bunch. (P.S. they hated it too.) The upstairs bathtub looks like it was taken from a closed asylum for dunking the mentally ill, better known as hydrotherapy. The house was built in the 1930's so let that piece of information guide you.

I will keep you posted on developments on that front.

Welcome, Reverend Reader!
This is just a quick shout out to a recent reader, the Rev. Howard Remski of the Priestly Fraternity of St. Peter, Chaplain to the Latin Mass community of St. Michael Chapel in Bethany, Oklahoma! We're glad you've been reading and we are encouraged that you even left a comment, and conveniently in English, not Latin, so all our readers can enjoy! It is good to have you here in the Archdiocese of Oklahoma City!

What the Zell!
First, my apologies for not providing some posts on the first few nights of the Republican National Convention. I managed to have quite a few remarks when the Democrats met, but my own campaigning and other duties have kept me from devoting time to commentary on the RNC.

I missed the speeches on the first night of the RNC. But I can comment, I think, on strategy. Speeches by Mayor Giuliani and Sen. McCain were a wise stroke. I'm sure the idea was to provide a comfortable home for members of the Republican party who fall across a spectrum of the official party platform. The Governator's speech was very rousing. He knows how to play a crowd and you had this sense that, barring changes in the Constitution, that may well have been Schwarzenegger's acceptance speech for a presidential nomination. I think one could critique the content of the Governator's speech as being a bit weak on content, marked by slogans, cliches, and corny adaptations of his well-known movie lines. However, his story as a foreigner coming to America was very compelling and his testimony that he became a Republican because Democratic rhetoric of the time (i.e., Humphrey campaign) sounded much like the socialism he had left behind in Austria was striking. Of course, the force of that remark was rather awkward, to say the least, given that he seemed to hold Nixon up as the reason he became Republican. Ooops. I'm trying to imagine what, "I am not a crook," sounds like with an Austrian accent! Anyway, given the media drumbeat of how America is hated around the world, Arnold's was a reminder that the American dream lives and it is still attractive to people from afar, indeed it beckons them. I thought the Governator's personal story was an interesting response to the notion that somehow the supposedly unilateral actions of the US in Iraq have gained us many more enemies. The appearance of the Bush twins was a major error. They came off as shallow bimbos of privilege. And I LOVED how confused they seemed when people laughed or applauded for extended periods of time, interrupting the speech. At one point, after a supposedly funny remark, followed by continuous laughter from the crowd, one of them turned to the other and could just be heard over the microphone asking, "What are they laughing at?" She then -- and I love this! -- turned behind her to look at the massive television screen as if conspirators had posted up funny or embarrassing images! Girls, this is a national convention for president, not a place where programming normally seen on MTV's spring break coverage will be found. I wanted to say, uh, hello honey, they're laughing at your remarks, albeit much too generously, but so be it. Get a clue. The First Lady is attractive and classy and it is refreshing to be able to listen to a First Lady without wondering (fearing?) that she is setting the stage for her own future campaign. However, following the Governator's speech, Laura's speech seemed to dissipate the energy generated by Arnold. Oh, well, I guess I didn't expect her to give a rowdy speech.

But last night. Oh, man! Sen. Zell Miller went "all out"! I couldn't believe it. I don't remember hearing him speak before. He was quite a force to be reckoned with. It was remarkable just because he's a Democrat, giving the keynote on night three of the RNC. But in addition, he gave a stunning critique of Kerry and his lack of trustworthiness and preparedness for the job of Commander-in-Chief. I think he went overboard and I wonder if that will backfire on the Bush campaign, but still I couldn't believe I was hearing such a straight shooting speech from a politician. It was, actually, a bit refreshing, even if rather harsh. I had to peel myself off the wall following the hurricane force delivery of Zell's speech. Then Fr. Tharp and I ended up on the phone, so I didn't watch the Vice President's speech. Considering only how it began, I think it too, much like Laura's speech the night before, dissipated much of the energy generated by Zell's speech. But again, I didn't expect the Cheney to get very fired up.

Hey, and for my money, I love protestors being wrestled to the ground in a Secret Service "pig pile".

WATCH PARTY COUNCIL OF PRIESTS: DECISION 2004
In a few minutes polls will close and the deed will be done. I'm not sure how long it will take to get the results. I am told it usually happens quickly. Apparently, you are called on the phone only if you win. If you don't win, you're just dropped like so much trash, not even worthy of a call to say "Thanks for running." Anyway... I spoke to another candidate tonight, hoping he would concede the election, but he didn't. He told me he had not received a phone call either. So, either the both of us lost, or the election commission hasn't tabulated the results yet.

Getting the results quickly would be nice so the waiting is over. But there is another reason. As revelers continue to party, getting sloppy drunk, and waving huge "V" signs from the campaign, it would be nice to be able to send them home! How many more photos can I endure with campaign supporters hanging on me and slurring: "I love you, man! Eerrr... I mean, Father!"

BACK HOME!
I am back to my parish after a nice 2 week vacation so that I will be rested for the hussle and bussle when the schools come back into session next week.

I am still getting used to being a priest, and now on vacation. For most days on my vacation I celebrated the holy sacrifice of the Mass privately (well, united with the whole Mystical Body of Christ). There are definite pluses to this (e.g., no one telling you that you are doing something wrong, and no criticism if you use some Latin). However, it is nice to have someone there to enter into the prayer and give the proper responses.

I did concelebrate Mass at a parish where my sister and niece worships at times (their local parish is pretty much a mess, the tabernacle is in what looks to be the old janitor's closest in the hallway outside the church, the priest does not like the Our Father the way it is, etc). This parish is in the care of a religious order (who will remain nameless). The style of the church was rather modern (for my taste), but in some ways reflective of the spirituality of the order, and you knew it was a church. Saying Mass on the road has been, well, interesting. While the celebrant (also pastor) welcomed me, he had me do NOTHING at the Mass. He did not even allow me to say part of the Eucharistic Prayer (which he deleted the word "Father" throughout, apparently that is offensive). Of course at Communion time, since they had a whole platoon of Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion (EMHCs), I was told to just sit down after I received. That really ticks me off. Afterall, I am an ORDINARY MINISTER of Holy Communion. There is such a poor understanding of ecclesiology today; priests really have been made "just like everyone else." I am certainly NOT saying that I am better than anybody because I am a priest, but as we hear in St. Paul's letters, the different parts of the Body have different roles that are proper to them. As a priest, I serve the Church in persona Christi Capitas, participating in His Headship. This is for the service of the laity, who have their specific role to play in the holy sacrifice of the Mass.

Apparently I had the blessing of the fact that the sound system was not oriented backwards, so I did not hear his homily. I knew he was talking about the terrible violence that is occurring in the Sudan (an important concern). During the homily my sister looked as if she was slapped, and then looked at me. After Mass she told me that the thrust of the homily was that the Church (read, Rome) cannot be silent about the situation in the Sudan "as it was during the Holocaust." Heck, I thought we were getting beyond the nonsense that the Church was somehow complicit in the Holocaust. There is NO historical evidence to support this. I am glad I did not hear it. I am glad to be home.

Another New Thing

Tonight is the first night of Religious Education for the kiddos in the parish. Also, it had been my ambitious plan to offer religious education for ADULTS at the same time. Sadly, there have been no takers. Why that is remains a mystery of a sort.

On point, please remember to pray for the kids of my parish. We are in our second year using the Ignatius Press Series, Image of God, and the sixth grade and eighth grade books look to be a particular challenge.

Philly Considers Wireless Internet for All

I hate to sound like Judas for the technological age, but isn't this a tremendous waste of money? The article unfortunately doesn't lay out how much it will cost taxpayers but that really isn't my beef. I have no problem with paying my taxes if I could be assured that wasteful bone-headedness could be kept to an absolute minimum. While we may have the poor with us always, we ought to act to help them rather than making it more convenient for me to get my email.

ELECTION DAY COUNCIL OF PRIESTS: DECISION 2004
Fr. Tharp is probably looking forward to campaign silence (read his inspired post below), as am I, however, ballots can be cast through today and so today is the final push. In a few minutes I will be heading west to the remote town of Boise City for some final campaign work. I have cast my vote. I apologize to readers that EWTN could not manage to have video footage of me casting my vote this morning.

Mother got a little hot under the collar, as is being reported (below), but I think I can recover due to a nice convention bounce showing up in the exit polls. We shall see. Results of the election will be reported as soon as I know them.

A reminder to readers: Today is election day for the Council of Priests and Fr. Hamilton is a candidate. However, campaign reporting is entirely made up.

And then...the Sound of Silence...

Felix Mendelssohn makes dramatic use of silence in his oratorio, Elijah. In the key scene between Elijah and the prophets of Baal, if you will recall from the biblical text, the prophets go to extremes to get Baal to respond and ignite their sacrifice. In the score, the prophets sing, "Hear and answer." And everyone falls silent, from chorus member to orchestra. It repeats like this two more times.

In the last weeks of campaigning, no doubt exists in my mind that many times Fr. H has had his hands raised before the altar of God, crying out, "Hear and answer." What he has been receiving as an answer, I will leave him to tell you. But after the convention, the smoke, the interviews, the scandalous news reports, now there is silence.

Let us hope that this endeavor ends better for Father than it did for the prophets of Baal (I Kings 18:40). In Northwest Oklahoma, I don't know of a brook that is equidistant from his parish to mine.

BREAKING NEWS: Council of Priests: Decision 2004
National Catholic Distorter (Oklahoma City) -- She normally simply goes by "Mom." But, the Archdiocese of Oklahoma City has come to know her in the past few weeks as "Mrs. Hamilton." By the power of a child's natural disposition toward his mother, and by the influence of the Catholic disposition for things maternal, she has proven she is no minor figure in the Council of Priests election. She's the mother of candidate Fr. Stephen Hamilton and she has been busy on the campaign trail.

It will strike no mother as odd that Mrs. Hamilton's first concern, upon hearing of her son's nomination, was for mudslinging and character attacks by her son's opponents. Last week she spoke on the sad state of campaigning at a meeting of the Ladies Auxiliary of the Knights of Columbus, at St. Helen Church, in rural Oklahoma. "We need to turn back," she said, "some of the creeping, un-priestly and sometimes un-Catholic traits that are coming into some of our Church politics." Mrs. Hamilton contends that there is no need for the political side of human life, even in the Church, to sink below human dignity. Hers was a call for decency and virtue among candidates whose most obvious traits ought to include virtue.

After the meeting, Distorter reporter Ashley Lame spoke with Mrs. Hamilton.

Distorter: Mrs. Hamilton, you said certain "un-Catholic traits" were creeping into the electoral process. Can you tell us what you meant by that?

Mrs. Hamilton: "Un-Catholic traits"? I don't understand.

D: You spoke of the lack of decency in the campaign and you mentioned "un-Catholic traits."

Mrs. H: I didn't say that. Why are you putting words in my mouth?

D: Will you explain for us what "un-Catholic traits" means?

Mrs. H: You said something I didn't say. Now shove it!

D: Wait. Mrs. Hamilton, please come back. We'd simply like an answer to our...

Campaign Trail: Day 14 Council of Priests: Decision 2004

***************PRESS RELEASE***************

Fr. Hamilton and Convention organizers deeply regret some of the turn of events at last night's opening session. No one was more embarrassed than Fr. Hamilton himself when a Van Halen song was accidentally played over the sound system. We sincerely hope that error was due to a mix up in the sound booth and not sabotage from an opponent's campaign. Fr. Hamilton's team of canon lawyers has called for an inquiry into the matter. It is our understanding that the convention hall will be hosting a meeting of Home Schoolers next week, and so that may offer an explanation for the song that was heard last night.

As to the endorsement debacle: Election rules for the Council of Priests do not provide for a write-in candidate. Though we are disappointed by the abrupt removal of support by the Fraternity of St. Peter, we remind the electors to make their vote count by voting for one of the official four candidates. We believe that Fr. Hamilton is the right candidate for the job. In a year when secular politics was surprised by former New York City Mayor Ed Koch's endorsement of President Bush, we should not be surprised by last night's announcement. Perhaps breathing too much incense at the Latin Mass has clouded the judgment of our Fraternity brothers. We hope they may once again give us their support before voting ends on September 1.

***************END***************

Convention Catastrophe

I was prowling the Internet and found this article. It doesn't bode well...

ZENIT -- (Oklahoma City, OK). With its moving stages and high tech presentations, the opening night of the Convention for Fr. Hamilton's election to the Archdiocese of Oklahoma City's Priests' Council was meant to be exciting, a moment of momentum building. The festivities were quickly hushed during the roll call of parochial delegates. The delegation representing the Priestly Fraternity of Saint Peter rose and approached the podium. Fr. Hamilton, sitting in the VIP box, glowed at the thought of their throwing support behind his campaign. But as the Book of Revelation says, the sting is in the tail of the locust, and Fr. Hamilton found himself stung mightily. The following is an excerpt from that delegation's speech.
"We, for many months, had hoped that Traditional Catholicism might find a voice on the Council of Priests in this Archdiocese. We had hoped that his Reverence, Fr. Hamilton would be that man. But after his comportment at the recent Clergy Days' celebration, we have had to reconsider our endorsement. A vote for Fr. Stephen Hamilton is a vote for Compromise. Therefore, the Priestly Fraternity of St. Peter endorses Fr. Howard Remski for the open seat on the Priests' Council."
Campaign organizers tried gamely to cover over this bad blood by cranking up on the loud speakers what has come to be the campaign's semi-official theme song, the cover of the Fleetwood Mac hit, "Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow" sung by the Monks of Solesmes Abbey. This effort also fell through as the sound booth had Van Halen's "Hot for Teacher" cued up instead. Clearly, there is much ill-timed confusion swirling around this campaign at the worst possible moment as voting closes September 1.

We can only hope Fr. Hamilton can recover from this set back.

Campaign Trail: Day 13 Council of Priests: Decision 2004
I would like to state, for the record, that I am fed up with how wide our sidebar area has gotten. The referring web pages list has a link with terribly long coding, thus causing the sidebar to expand. Since Fr. Tharp unilaterally (as usual!) added that feature to OUR blog, I have spoken to him about it, asking that he do something to fix it, or remove the offending link. He has given me nothing but a smug answer to the effect of, "Well, kid, you've gotta take the good with the bad."

I, for one, find this outrageous and I promise to fight to make blogdom's sidebars safe if I am elected to the Council of Priests!

Memo to the Iconoclastic World:
You say you don't understand the Catholic and Orthodox Church's decoration, the Sacraments, the importance of gesture, symbolism and what it communicates? Or worse, some even think these things contrary to Sacred Scripture.

I say, you seemed completely comfortable during the Closing Ceremony of the 28th Olympiad! You even participated in it and found it meaningful. If you were moved by and "spoken to" by the Olympic torch's flame being passed on to a ten year old girl and then on to the rest of the stadium via individual little torches, then don't treat as frivolous the baptismal candle being passed from the Easter candle to the newly baptized. And if you can grasp that much, then you have an insight into the depth and meaning of our world, the world the Son of God chose to enter in another outward sign -- human flesh!

Yes, the "logic" of the Sacraments is sometimes in the seemingly most unlikely of places.

Thank You, I think...

I am not sure how to interpret this article concerning a Islamic terrorist group showing respect for the Vatican. I think this is a good sign...but a sign of what? Oh, well, count my blessings.

More Pending Problems

Well, I don't know if I said it first, but here comes round...what is this? Three?...of the media coverage of the clergy scandal. However, this time I am more anxious to hear this story and see how it plays in the media. Is this because I have a cruel streak and want to bask in other folks' pain and suffering? No. Given the media's fawning, lapdog posture whenever Cardinal Mahoney pokes his head out of the cubby hole, I am intrigued to see how the media commentators are going to be able to say "we love you" and "we want to destroy you" without their respective heads exploding.

Campaign Trail: Day 12 Council of Priests: Decision 2004
Just moments ago, a campaign first was witnessed in these final days before the Council of Priests election: an Internet forum of the four nominees. Each candidate was interviewed with select members of the Press in attendance. In addition, questions were received via e-mail and addressed to the candidates. CRM is now pleased to present a transcript of Fr. Hamilton's interview.

Miss Eeng Link Magazine: Fr. Hamilton, of all the candidates you have the least experience as the pastor of a parish. Your opponents have all weathered the stresses and demands of parish life and as regards pastoral experience they are all well-seasoned. How does your record compare?

Fr. Hamilton: My opponents all have years of experience as pastors. They have certainly weathered storms greater and more numerous than mine to date. To that end, I admit that one could say their records are more heroic than mine. However, I stand ready to serve wherever I am called. But I ask you, what happens when seasoning goes flat? Of what use is it? It is good for nothing, but to be trampled underfoot. Sometimes it is precisely new seasoning that brings out flavors we had long forgotten.

Toledo, Oklahoma (via e-mail): Fr. Hamilton, as you know the number of ministries available in the average parish is a concern. In some parishes, ministries have been lost. Your plan to preach the universal call to holiness has helped increase ministries in some sectors, but in others the rebound has been slow in coming. How would you rate your plan to increase ministries?

Fr. H: That is an extremely pertinent question in this campaign. It is troubling that some remain without ministry, even after the Spirit of Vatican II has swept these plains. But I think the slow rebound, of which you wrote, is not because of my plan, but because my plan has yet to be taken to heart. As it goes with most spiritual matters, the hearts of individuals must change or even the best plans will not come to fruition. In short, I think my plan to increase ministries has been a catastrophic success!

Lamb Blitzer: Fr. Hamilton, where were you during today's men's Olympic marathon?

Fr. H: Wh... Where was I? I'm afraid I don't understand.

Lamb Blitzer: Father, do you own a kilt and a green vest?

Fr. H: Are you trying to say.... that ex-priest today... I mean.... Are you suggesting that I am really the former-Fr. Horan, who interfered with Brazil's Lima as he ran today's marathon?!

LB: Father, can you explain where you were today?

Fr. H: This is ludicrous! I admit, I had no desire to see Brazil win the marathon gold, but I certainly did no such thing. This is the lowest of the lows.... If I get my hands on you, I'll.....

-------------------------------------------END-------------------------------------------------

We now return to coverage of the Closing Ceremonies of the 28th Olympiad in Athens.

A Day of New Beginnings

This morning, in Alva, Oklahoma, the air temperature is hovering around 64, a glistening halo of sylvan bliss that hints perhaps summer begins her retreat. After a brutal summer, that would be most welcome of new beginnings.

Today, a new beginning for me starts. This evening, I will be celebrating the initiation of two men into the local Third Order Dominican chapter, and I am one of these two. For the last 2 years or so, I have been discerning some spiritual issues that revolve around the religious life, and this is a first step of sorts. If I am called upon to give a name for religious profession, I am inclined to select either "Ambrose" or "Damien." Why am I so inclined is another story.

Please pray for me that I may become an excellent and worthy son of St. Dominic.

Campaign Trail: Day 11
Fox News: This is Lamb Blitzer reporting from the campaign trail in Oklahoma for Council of Priests: Decision 2004. Casting much doubt on the credibility of claims that Fr. Hamilton suffers from frail health, he made a brief campaign visit today at a nursing home. He bounded from his campaign car, a 2000 Buick with 98,000 miles on it, looking as young and spry as ever. With a quick "thumbs up" and rapid fire pointing at his gathered supporters, he quickly entered the home, focused on the real purpose for his presence: pastoral care. Only afterward did he stop for a brief statement. Fr. Hamilton spoke of the concerns and needs of the elderly and ailing. "Too often," he said, "those who would take advantage of the weak and infirm are like wolves standing at the door. We must work to provide adequate care and attention to our beloved elders." Speaking in Spanish, he continued his message for those who do not speak English, "El lobo esta' a la puerta. Necesitamos cuidar para los desafortunados, los ancianos, y los debiles." Following a quick Angelus and blessing, Fr. Hamilton headed back to the parish to ready for the weekend.

Though Fr. Hamilton has been nominated for the Council of Priests, campaign reporting is entirely fictitious.

Why the Salmon Population Dropped Recently

Campaign Trail: Day 10
Guymon, OK (AP) -- Amid new questions regarding his health, Rev. Stephen V. Hamilton, candidate for the Council of Priests of the Archdiocese of Oklahoma City, again made no public appearances today on the campaign trail. His Press Secretary fielded questions outside of a Perpetual Eucharistic Adoration Chapel. "Fr. Hamilton is taking a few days of rest following a grueling schedule at last week's Clergy Days. He is meeting with his campaign advisors to plan the final push before the upcoming election," said Sr. Mary Agnes, O.P. When asked what the public should make of Fr. Hamilton's failure to make planned campaign stops, Sr. Mary Agnes stated, "As a priest, Fr. Hamilton's most sacred duty is to preach the gospel. As you know, the weekend is approaching and Fr. Hamilton is simply doing what every good priest should do: rest up and prepare for his weekend homily." She said she had no further explanation for why campaign stops had been originally planned leading up to the weekend. "This type of planning is complicated and mistakes are sometimes made," she said. When pressed on the state of Fr. Hamilton's health, Sr. Mary Agnes promptly ended the press conference, claiming her Holy Hour had begun and that she had "something important" to pray for. It is believed that she was making use of a Novena to Our Lady of Lourdes.

Sorry about the silence...

I have been working on getting ready for the weekend and getting my last catechism class of the summer finished. And then there is the part where I have to rearrange some notes for a friend. And then I have to get some letters ready for submission of the Borromeo Project. So, not much from me until later...oh, and Fr. H has a head cold and won't be blogging today, I suspect.

Campaign Trail: Day 9
Though the campaign wheels are still turning, I have not been doing much campaigning personally. I am under the weather -- another sinus infection. The last few days in Oklahoma City were very windy, kicking up dust and other allergens, and that usually means a nasty reaction from my sinuses. The unique matter of this episode is that I am not sure if my sinus reaction was from Oklahoma wind or the hot air of my opponents!

Now to another matter. Some questions have been raised by a certain "Swift Gondoliers for Truth," who cast doubt upon my presence in Italy for theology studies from 1995-2000. One of their most scurrilous charges is that I learned what I know about cappuccino from long hours in Starbucks. How laughable. Folks, Starbucks is good, but it is not authentic cappuccino. Leave it to Americans to take something good -- a decent, reasonably-sized cup of coffee in Italy -- and develop it into these enormous personal irrigation systems, kept in large paper cups that impede the enjoyment of the frothed milk, which sticks to the sides! My friends, this cuts right to the heart of an issue of this campaign: Bigger is not always better. One of my opponents is proposing that we, Catholics, follow the non-denominational Christian model of the mega-church for our Catholic parishes. To follow this pattern is to jeopardize the entire parochial structure. There is a reason why the Catholic Church has always found its incarnation at the most local of levels. Catholic churches are not designed, by nature, to be enormous, self-sustained cities. Don't be fooled.

But back to these Swift Gondoliers for Truth, and the notion that I may not have spent two summers in Venice in common labor. I wasn't aware that I needed someone else to remember my history for me. Their claims are as murky and fabricated as the very foundations of Venice itself! Folks, this is revisionist history if I have ever seen it. And what disturbs me the most is that some of my campaign workers have discovered that one of these gondoliers is also a catechist in the religious education program at the parish of an opponent. Does that sound like a conflict of interest to anyone else?

Computers' Religious Wars -- A Reprint.
After reading Fr. Tharp's another reason to switch to Mac, I remembered an article a friend sent me when I was recently debating to switch to Mac (and how I still rue the fact that I did not; maybe next year). I found the following from Brent Sleeper's website.

"Umberto Eco’s gently humorous essay comparing Macs as Catholic and PCs as Protestant made the rounds of Usenet newsgroups and mailing lists in late 1994. I posted a copy to my personal web site at that time under the title, “Religious Wars.” It’s an excerpted English translation of Eco’s back-page column, “La bustina di Minerva,” in the September 30, 1994, issue of the Italian newsweekly L’espresso."

Insufficient consideration has been given to the new underground religious war
which is modifying the modern world. It’s an old idea of mine, but I find that
whenever I tell people about it they immediately agree with me.
The fact is that the world is divided between users of the Macintosh computer and users of MS-DOS compatible computers. I am firmly of the opinion that the Macintosh is Catholic and that DOS is Protestant. Indeed, the Macintosh is counter-reformist and has been influenced by the ratio studiorum of the Jesuits. It is cheerful, friendly, conciliatory, it tells the faithful how they must proceed step by step to reach—if not the Kingdom of Heaven—the moment in which their document is printed. It is catechistic: the essence of revelation is dealt with via simple
formulae and sumptuous icons. Everyone has a right to salvation.
DOS is Protestant, or even Calvinistic. It allows free interpretation of scripture,
demands difficult personal decisions, imposes a subtle hermeneutics upon the
user, and takes for granted the idea that not all can reach salvation. To make
the system work you need to interpret the program yourself: a long way from the
baroque community of revellers, the user is closed within the loneliness of his
own inner torment.
You may object that, with the passage to Windows, the DOS universe has come to resemble more closely the counter-reformist tolerance of the Macintosh. It’s true: Windows represents an Anglican-style schism, big ceremonies in the cathedral, but there is always the possibility of a return to DOS to change things in accordance with bizarre decisions….And machine code, which lies beneath both systems (or environments, if you prefer)? Ah, that is to do with the Old Testament, and is talmudic and cabalistic.

Not a Fan of the Classics

Frequenters of the blog know of my love for virology and microbiology. But when I hear about a return run of Yersinia Pestis (sp?) in Colorado makes me queasy. This is the same bacteria that got a very interesting nickname in the Middle Ages. Perhaps you've heard of it: the Black Death. Enjoy your lunch...

Isn't this the cafeteria's fault?!

Wayans Family to Produce 'Munsters' Film

I loved "In Living Color." Actually, if they insist on keeping their own racial identities, there could be an interesting, double meaning to the Munsters being out of step with their neighbors.

Yahoo! News - Judge Stops Partial-Birth Abortion Law

Sadly, I am not surprised by this. I am still amazed at how the law so often is construed in a theoretical sense. For example, the idea of needing a health exception for a partial birth abortion flies in the face of the American Medical Association has stated, that there are no medically necessary reasons to have a partial birth abortion. Furthermore, after about 24 weeks, and that would be the most extreme time I have seen, the child IS VIABLE. If the mother doesn't want the child, then put him up for adoption. Maybe I am too simplistic a thinker...clearly, I was born in the wrong century. Anyone know of a temporal rift going back to the 13th century? I am willing to put up with the frequent smallpox outbreaks.

Support Your Local Cleric

Although I am not an advocate of clerical campaigning for any position given the injunction against this in the Code of Canon Law, I am an advocate of supporting worthy causes through fundraising.

One of our commentors asked about where they can buy those stylish buttons favoring Fr. H's Reign of Terror Campaign. The link provided in the sidebar under "Monkey Like Fundraising" is your one stop source for all things Ragemonkey. And the profits go to support Catholic Answers and Rachel's Vineyard.

A Few New Bells and Whistles

I have added a few new features that Blogger has been so good to provide. Try them out and tell us what you think.

Another Reason to Switch to Macintosh

Just to preempt any comment to this effect, there would be no moral objection to the use of an adult's stem cells in research. An adult can give free and informed consent to the operations and procedures to be undertaken. However, an embryo is another kettle of fish. The embryo cannot give permission and the extraction of stem cells from the embryo will result in its destruction. No matter how potentially helpful stem cell research could be, it cannot be purchased at the price of someone else's life.

Ah, Misogyny!

There is nothing more charming than a beautiful woman. However, when one tries to distill the essence of the beautiful woman, you are left with the unappealing part detached from the true thing that made her beautiful, her personhood.

Leave it to the modern technocrat to create just such a reality for the average cell phone user. The vision of women depicted by this project is clear: all women are ephemeral, shallow, golddiggers in waiting, who only are interested in men for the words they say and the gifts they bring. Heaven forfend that a popular vision of a woman would include, oh, I don't know, respect and affection for her man based upon mutual self-giving. But what do I know? I am one of those Catholics, and we all know how much the Church hates women.

More Clerical Blogging

I want to welcome Fr. Ethan McCarthy of Diary of a Suburban Priest to our blog links. He is just getting started but looks to be on the right track. It is pretty easy to get on my good side if you feature El Greco's works on your blog. Give him some of your love, folks, and visit today.

Campaign Trail: Day 8
Clergy Days was a success. It was fairly well-attended and the presenter was quite good. It was the first clergy gathering in some time that did not leave me with some significant theological objection or problem with at least one of the talks. In this case, all of the talks were good. The presenter even told me, in a side conversation, that I needed to maximize my time by not expending too much time in places where my support is virtually assured. He suggested I spend time with the "swing votes". But there was a surprise result to one poll taken near the coffee bar area of the conference room. I approached a brother priest, whose vote I was sure I could count on. I said hello, we shook hands, I asked if he was doing okay, and he responded: "Yes, I'm doing well, but I am not voting for you." The immediacy and bluntness took me by surprise. I am going to have to re-evaluate the votes I thought I had locked up. However, if there is anything good about that exchange, it tells me that my candidacy is well-known and that my campaigners are getting the word out!

Some reporting
Originally, CRM had not planned on receiving Lamb Blitzer's reports from the campaign trail until after Clergy Days. However, a computer has been located near the conference site. We may have daily reports yet.

Campaign Trail: Day 7
I had a dinner meeting yesterday with Fr. Tharp and a third priest. We accomplished much campaign planning. However, our meeting went longer than expected, and by the time my campaign convoy got through traffic we had missed the first session of Clergy Days. Luckily, most of the priests had adjourned to an upstairs reception area, so when the three of us entered the conference center lobby, it wasn't as if all eyes were on us, coating us with disdain. I hope that the priests understand what campaign time is like. You try to have a schedule, but things inevitably get off track at times. I just hope missing that first session will not be interpreted as aloofness or lack of intellectual curiosity on my part.

Unlikely Evangelization
Yesterday, Fr. Tharp and I met up in the thriving metropolis that is the Oklahoma City area. My campaign director had suggested a hair cut for me before the presbyteral assembly gathered. So, with that suggestion, suddenly both Fr. Tharp and I were off to get our hair cut. [For those interested, we are both sporting the wildly popular buzz cut. This style manages to capture a retro look while also adding to the impression that one is detached from the world. Bottom line is we are both freshly shorn.]

We stepped in the local Supercuts and there was a parishioner from my first assignment getting his hair cut. Then that young man's mother and brothers returned to the store and it was a nice reunion. Both Fr. Tharp and I had the same barber (I guess she would probably prefer that I say "stylist"), a Catholic, and so there was much discussion on the Church. The stylist finished with me and I sat in the waiting area, reading Cigar Aficionado, as Fr. Tharp had his turn in the chair. Suddenly, another man in the waiting area came over to me, and introduced himself into my atmosphere by saying, "I have a question for you." He had been reading a Discover magazine's report on Einstein and the theory that the universe is expanding. He wanted to know what the Church said about that theory.

So, that started some evangelization in what you might think was an unlikely place -- I certainly didn't expect to get into that at Supercuts! Any readers with input as to an answer to the man's question should feel free to comment, however, I told the man I wasn't aware if the Church had specifically or officially addressed the matter of the universe's expansion. Unless, I totally missed that memo, I don't think the Church as pronounced on that theory. But, I said, whatever is happening, I think the Church's response would be a subset of our teaching regarding creation. For us, I said, these theories of natural process don't present a problem because we see them as having been begun and being sustained by God. We do not accept an atheistic evolution. In that sense, I said, believing that God is the one who ordered things in the universe and gave them their start, He is also the one that sustains the activity of life, and therefore, He would also be the sustainer of the universe.

So, there you go, the New Evangelization at Supercuts! Who'd a thunk?

ANOTHER COMMUNION CONTROVERSY
Some of you may have heard about the new controversy concerning the Eucharist that has erupted in New Jersey. I am amazed that so many people that I know from out of state have contacted me about it. Apparently it has been on the national news, and since it all started here in my diocese.

A recap; a little girl with celiac disease (a severe allergic reaction to gluten) was scheduled to receive her First Holy Communion in May 2004. Her mother spoke with the parish priest about her daughter's condition. The priest offered to use the extremely low gluten hosts that have been approved for use by the Vatican, and many doctors have said that they should be fine for people with celiac disease, but the mother refused to allow her daughter to receive any gluten. Then the priest offered to allow her to receive the Precious Blood, but the mother again refused to allow it, saying that she did not believe it right to EVER give a child alcohol. Apparently the mother then found a priest who agreed to use a rice wafer for Holy Communion. When my bishop came to sign the canonical books, her refused to sign for the girl in question (instructed the priest to removed the record that she had received her 1st Holy Communion) because invalid matter was used, thus the sacrament was invalid. The mother is "outraged," the girl is "very sad," and the mother has decided to appeal the decision of my bishop to Cardinal Ratzinger.

Of course this has been front page news in the papers, and now it is becoming a national news item. Of course the press has been doing their typically incompetent coverage of the Catholic Church; not showing the slightest understanding of the theological issues involved. It is just another example of emotivist journalism, and the long documented history of "Know-Nothingism" and anti-Catholicism in the USA. The Asbury Park Press even compared the Catholic Church to the Methodists and Lutherans, who the Park Press said are also Communion based churches and who both allow the use of non-gluten hosts.

OK, first a brief theological analysis of the issue (I warmly invite Frs. Tharp and Hamilton to add their insights, and correct me if I miss something). As I am sure all CRM readers know, Catholics believe that the Eucharist IS the Body and Blood of Jesus Christ. That the bread and wine that is offered, after the words of Consecration, become actually the Body and Blood of Jesus; that the substance of bread and wine is completely changed into the substance of Christ Jesus. Nothing of the substance of bread and wine remain (although the accidents of bread and wine; e.g., color, taste, smell, etc. typically remains). Catholics believe Jesus' words as being true; when He said that He was giving us His Body and Blood as Real food and Real drink (cf. John's Gospel, Chapter 6) that he really was giving us His Body and Blood. Also, we follow what Jesus commanded us when He said "Do this in memory of me." Thus since He used bread, made with wheat, and wine (fermented juice of the grape) at the Last Supper, we too must use the same materials.

The Church's theology calls this miraculous transformation, Transubstantiation (the changing of substances). I am sure that someone with a more extensive philosophical background can give a better explanation of "substance" and "accidents", but here is how I explain it to kids I am preparing for their 1st Holy Communion. There is a difference between "what a thing is" and "what it looks like" (OK, I know this is only addressing one of the classes of accidents); for example look at pictures of you taken as a baby, a 7 year-old, a teenager, from college, and now. You probably look very different, but you are the same person (in the essence of who you are, or the esse). Thus what a person looks like does not change who they are. Now in the miracle of consecration, the "what it is" is changed, while the "what it looks like" stays the same. Since we are dealing with the "substances" and not just the "accidents" it does matter what we use.

With all due respect to our Methodist and Lutheran brothers and sisters, they do not have the same sense of Communion as Catholics. Methodists believe that Communion is just a sign of our fellowship with Christ and each other. They do not believe that the Eucharist is really Jesus' Body and Blood. Since it is just a sign, the matter of the sign does not make a difference, so they can use what ever they want. Now the Lutherans do believe in the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist, however they do not believe that the substance of the bread and wine are changed, rather the substance of Jesus' Body and Blood adheres to the substance of the bread and the substance of the wine (the theological term is consubstantiation). Since the bread and wine are merely the vehicle for the substance of Christ, again, the matter of the vehicle becomes less important.

Now my RageMonkey speaks; I find it hypocritical of the press, who are the first to wave the "separation of Church and State" when they feel that the Church is butting its nose into what they don't like and says is a public matter, but they have no problem butting their nose into what is clearly an internal Church matter, the discipline of its sacraments. My bishop is just doing what he is required to do to protect the validity of the sacraments. While I can empathize with the little girl's desire to receive the Eucharist, and the frustration that she and her mother must feel, they were given viable options. I just don't buy the resistance to allow her daughter to receive the Precious Blood because it would have alcohol. There is more alcohol in cough medicines. And when the mother says that she is not trying to change the Church or cause trouble, then why go to the press with it? Submit your appeal through the proper of channels. Scripture even sets the standard for handling these types of issues.

It is another example of a "Burger King" mentality -- that we can get things "my way." Also, the Eucharist is first and foremost the GIFT of our Lord's Body and Blood. We do not have the right to demand a gift.

Let us keep all the involved parties in our prayers.

Reporting from the Road

I've got me a Camry,/
It's as big as a whale,/
and it's about to set sail...

Yes, it's me, reporting in from the Daveshack. It's really more of a bungalow, but you get the idea. Before I head over to the priests' inservice, I thought I would stop and visit our techmonkey as today was the first day of school for him. No, he's not a student; he's the teacher. =shudder=

But God love him, this is his purgatory, assuming he is offering it up. And more to the point, he teaches 6th grade. If that isn't cause for canonization records to be kept, I don't know what is.

And because I am such a good, nice alpha male ragemonkey, I didn't post this commentary about Dave's occupation as "Another Good Reason to Homeschool." Only a cruel jerk would do that.

=Ding!=

(I told you, Dave. This ragemonkey remembers every coup attempt and punishes all those involved.)

Which Parish Are You?

With all of Fr. H's posturing in an effort to get elected, I have been wondering about his election calculations. Is he wasting too much time "preaching to the choir?" That's why I propose a tablulation of red parishes and blue parishes. This way Fr. H can use the limited resources of his office to great postive effect.

Programming Note
CRM's coverage of Council of Priests: Decision 2004 with Lamb Blitzer will be suspended for a few days while the presbyterate of the Archdiocese of Oklahoma City meet in plenary session. Coverage will return soon, and with insider stories from Clergy Days!

Any advice?
Well, folks, tomorrow evening begins the annual "Clergy Days" of the Archdiocese of Oklahoma City. It is designed to be an adventure in continuing education beginning one evening, continuing for a full day, and ending at noon on the third day. With that set-up, let me switch gears a bit. This will be the largest gathering of priest electors before the September 1 election to the Council of Priests. As a candidate, should I do anything different? Should I be more cautious? What advice might you have for my candidacy as I prepare to leave for this gathering tomorrow morning? I mean, I'm not sure if I should have some swanky civilian clothing on hand, to court the mufti vote (which is a substantial block) or not. Unfortunately, I don't think walking about the gathering in cassock will win me any votes. I would be lucky if I only pulled off wearing a collar each day. I hate to sound shallow -- the political process seems to draw that out -- but should I bring a few prop books to carry around with my notepad? Certainly the Bible and my breviary are a given. I'm wondering if I should carry an Andrew Greeley book or maybe some wily Jesuit's writings on liberation theology? I think I might also need to plant a holy card of Blessed Pope John XXIII and arrange for it to "fall out" of one of my books, hitting the floor before a group of electors from another age group.

I'm just not sure. I'm starting to feel so dirty. Do I play the game just to get elected?

An Ugly Turn of Events

While Sundays might be light days on the campaign trail, they are not light days for one's opposition. Today, I was travelling in Kansas, visiting a parishioner in the hospital in Pratt. I stopped for a bathroom break, a fuel stop, and some beef jerky...mmm...beef hearts. Anyway I was half-watching a television, perched above my head when I finally saw it. An ugly attack ad is being run against Fr. Hamilton's bid for the priests' council seat.

The group calls itself "Swift Gondoliers For Truth," and they are disputing elements of Fr.'s record. For example, Fr. has tried to present himself as one with the working man, banking on his two summers working as a Vatican tour guide and gondolier in Venice. Beastly commute, but the money's good from what I am told. Anyway, these gondoliers dispute that Fr. was ever there, that he didn't actually go to school in Rome, but instead learned everything he knows about Italy from hanging out in the public library and frequenting Starbucks so as to master the cappuccino. As you can imagine, his ultra-orthodox credentials are in jeopardy.

Let's hope this doesn't impede his bid for the council seat.

Campaign Trail: Day 5
I suppose Sundays on the campaign trail for the Council of Priests are normally rather calm, since priests are busy with Holy Mass. I am certainly finding this Sunday to be so. It is a welcome relief from the intense few days of campaigning so far. The only thing I want to report today is that some people are really getting into this campaign -- perhaps even more than I am! I was informed today that a group totally unaffiliated with me has printed up their own campaign posters and flyers in support of my bid for the Council of Priests of the Archdiocese of Oklahoma City. I knew something was up in the last few days, because I saw a few large "V"s being waved about at the debate a couple of days ago. My middle initial is "V". Apparently, it was indicative of more than I ever could have imagined. I have yet to personally see these posters, but I am told they read like this:

Rev. Stephen V. Hamilton

Council of Priests

Virtue -- Vision -- Vatican

Finance talk preview
A few posts ago I mentioned my concern about finances in my parish and my plan to eventually devote a weekend to discussing finances. This weekend I gave the people a very brief preview of the finance talk to come. I have noticed, especially among the two Spanish Masses, some confusion about how second collections work -- whether one's parish contribution, placed in the second basket, goes to the parish or not -- so I decided to use this weekend to explain the process. In explaining what second collections are for and that parish contributions can't be mixed with them, I also made a plea for each family to have envelopes and to use them. I mentioned my recent addition of the finance corner in our bulletin and our current year-to-date deficit. I also encouraged the people to have pride in their parish and reminded them that we are not a small parish (800 registered families) and we can do more. I was, oh, so pleased afterwards when a kind lady came up to me and said something like, "You know, you're not even asking for that much. If every family gave only five dollars we'd make our weekly budget easily." She had done the math and the message is getting out there.